


Play the Leader (SLOW UPDATES)

by PyroAndrea, ymirssidebitch



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Bachelor Party, Bisexual Clementine (Walking Dead), Dark Past, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Gen, Inspired by The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game), Lesbian Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), M/M, Multi, Other, Past Minerva/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Slow Burn, Stripper, TFS, The Final Season, Violentine, clem - Freeform, clem/vi - Freeform, clementine/violet - Freeform, mechanic vi, strip club, stripper clem, twdg - Freeform, vi - Freeform, vi/clem, violet/clementine - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:17:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyroAndrea/pseuds/PyroAndrea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ymirssidebitch/pseuds/ymirssidebitch
Summary: Clementine never wanted this lifestyle, it just sort of fell into her lap... the same way she fell into the laps of men every night at the strip club. The club she started working in at the age of 18.  The club she never intended to stay at but couldn't seem to leave behind. Three years later she had failed to move forward, maybe all she needed was a special someone to help her escape the life she felt trapped in.
Relationships: Clementine/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Louis/Sophie (Walking Dead: Done Running)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 167
Collections: Telltale Walking Dead





	1. Introduction

I love meeting new people.

Everyone of them, they're like a breath of fresh air. Who doesn't love a fresh breath of air?

They meet you. They like you, you can tell they like you. They're nice. They treat you with respect.

Then comes the dreaded question.

Every fucking time.

"What do you do for a living?"

That's when my heart, it picks up. Blood runs icy. My eyes close and I just want them to stay closed. A hole to open up in the ground, to swallow me there and then because I'd rather not exist than answer and tell them what I do for a living.

It's not embarrassing.

It's not wrong.

It's not illegal.

It's just... not ideal.

So I take a deep breath, palms sweaty. And answer.

"I strip."

"You strip?"

"Yeah," fuck. "strip."

"Oh."

Then the date continues. Awkwardly, quietly.

Until it's over and he meets me outside. In his suit. I'm in my dress, the only one I have, the one I never wear unless I really, really have to.

"Before I go," he speaks, scratching the back of his head. I can tell he's nervous. Maybe he'll apologise for the awkwardness. Maybe ask me on a second date. Maybe this is something special. Maybe he just needs time to proces-

Twenty-five one dollar bills.

In my hand.

He took my hand and turned my palm, placing the money into my hand. I bunched it up, on autopilot.

"Here's your money. I know you probably expected this."

"I didn't want this."

"You get paid for this sort of thing, don't you?"

"No. I'm a stripper. I'm not... I'm not some... street walker."

"Keep it anyway," he turned and walked away.

That was the last I saw of him.

And the last relationships saw of me.


	2. In a sea of strangers, I can't find me anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I squeeze the metal and pull myself closer, legs spread. They grip the bottom of it, and my legs curl around it, my hands pulling me up higher and higher and higher until I twist, my leg and it suddenly holds my entire body, all my weight and atoms and flesh held up by this one limb. What would I do without it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're releasing the first two chapters at the same time. Both are in first person but the story will be in third person for the most part after that. Also we released two chapters at the same time because they're both short, normally we will do one chapter a week is the goal. Thanks for reading!

As my eyes flutter open and I skim the room, it becomes apparent to me. Everything pieces together once I see the light dance of the curtains, disturbed by the wind, the faint, orange glimmer of street lights below my apartment, the way I'm feeling disturbed as if by my own presence.

Three fifty five in the morning. I've woken up at three fifty five in the morning. Again. The third time this month, the fifth time this year.

And now, I just know I'm not going back to sleep. I would consider myself the stupidest person ever to even ponder about it. My only option is to get out of bed and do something to pass the time before stores open and I can find something better to wear for tonight.

Nothing special tonight, it's... it's just work.

I can't even bear the idea of being cold but I unwrap myself from my intoxicatingly, addictingly warm blankets anyway and slowly roll over, my legs hanging off the edge and my feet contacting the ground first, waiting for the rest of my body to respond.

Sometimes, I just wish it wouldn't respond. I wish I had an excuse to lay in bed all day. I wish I could not get out of bed and not feel guilty about it. It's not like anyone's relying on me, I live alone, I work somewhat alone.

I am alone. And in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? I mean, who the hell am I doing it for? I want to go to school. But then there's days where I just fucking wonder if school is worth all of this. Anyone would think it's not.

God, if I had been smart. I could've just got a regular job, I don't know, a cashier or something. Over the years, I could've saved up for college but oh no, I decided to take the "easy" route as some would say.

This route is anything but easy.

This route is painful.

It's repetitive, it's taking everything from me because I haven't got a choice anymore because I wear this mask and this mask decides who I am.

I'm not Clementine. I'm just Honey. To everyone, I'm Honey. I'm smouldering, I'm... I'm seductive, I don't know, all I know is that I'm not myself and I can't even get mad about it because this is my job. They took me in.

And you can't bite the hand that feeds you.

My body responds and I'm on the floor, standing up straight as if I hadn't just woken up. What am I supposed to do to pass the time? I don't know. I suppose I'll figure it out.

It's dark outside and nobody can see me. My windows are open at the top and my curtains blow with the wind. I feel a chill up my spine.

If it were the middle of the day, I fear the whole city would see me.

But it's three fifty seven in the morning, so now, I don't fear anything.

As I walk towards the pole in the middle of the room, I feel her take over. My face changes, I'm smiling, but it's not warm and welcoming, it's charming and seductive and it's not my face at all.

My hands aren't shaky or shaking as they reach out to grip the pole.

God, sometimes I pretend it's somebody's neck. One particular customer from about a year ago. I use his face every time I grip it, I just... I have to.

I squeeze the metal and pull myself closer, legs spread. They grip the bottom of it, and my legs curl around it, my hands pulling me up higher and higher and higher until I twist, my leg and it suddenly holds my entire body, all my weight and atoms and flesh held up by this one limb. What would I do without it?

I'm spinning, not fast, but I am spinning. My arms are out, if anyone were around me, they'd have been whipped by my hands multiple times by now.

I'm not dizzy and I don't feel unwell.

I feel like I'm flying and I feel like I'm dancing and I feel high and I feel so free.

This is it, this is what I want.

To curl around a piece of metal, to hold it close to me and not have it breathe in my ear or rub up against me without my consent.

To own it, to have it's control. A mutual dance, we support each other but majority of the time, it's supporting me. It's supporting me when it lifts me up when I fall down, it doesn't leave, it just waits for my return for me to get back up.

It's my friend. It's my only friend.

It's my friend because of the freedom it provides me. I often wonder if this is a blessing or a curse. Some of the girls at the club need drugs to prepare, some of them use them to cope. I'm happy I can use my job as a way to cope with my job.

Even if it's painful.

I stop spinning, slow. Uncurl myself and lift myself down. I must have been going for hours because now it's getting bright outside and cars are starting to drive by.

Walking towards the sink now, getting a drink. It's a daily routine. It's nothing special.

What is special, is how long it takes me to prepare for my job.

Because the thing is, I just don't. I could dance every night and practice, I could do so much, but I'll never fully prepare for what I need to do when the clock hits that dreaded time.

That dreaded time where I go away and it's no longer me.

I'm not me.

It's Honey. She's just always there.

I wonder if I'll ever get rid of her. Probably not. I know I'm not just gonna make the money, get to college and then boom, my past is in the past. There's probably pictures of me, despite phone's being banned. There's always sneaky people who find ways to take them.

I don't know why I'm so just, like, okay with people having pictures of me half naked on their phones. Probably because I feel like it's my fault.

What right do I have to complain when I'm the one who took this job?

I take a drink and pretend it's something stronger. Oh god, how I wish it was something stronger. Something like what the girls take at the club, something to make me forget, to turn me into Honey without forcing me to be honey.

But I'd never be that lucky.

I wonder what my parents would say, I wonder if I'd care. In all honesty, they're the ones who died, I'd have had a good life if they just... if they had just stayed. I know it's a lot to ask but...

You don't know what I'd give to see my mommy again.

I don't want to cry, I can't cry.

I'm practicing now, I'm in Honey's shoes, I promise. I feel like I'm working for somebody all the time.

The other day I went to buy something to eat at the store and the cashier pulled me aside and begged me to leave because he didn't want his wife to know he was at the club.

I mean, I wasn't in my gear and I sure as hell didn't look like a stripper, and I said that to him! But he informed me that regardless of what I was wearing, it didn't matter... he'd still, well, you know... get... heated?

God, it's gross. It's so, so gross but I put myself up for this job and it's such a mistake and I want to go back in time and-

It's already too late.

I'm already peeking out at the crowd we have tonight. So many men, just flaunting their cash at the girls who are all crawling for it, begging for it. And the men are laughing and I feel sick.

"Are you ready to go out?" Molly asked me, "you don't look well,"

"I'm fine." A smile, turning to a sultry glare. I put on my mask, shoes that belong to Honey and strutted out. All eyes on me. I want to throw up.

It didn't take long, rubbing up against a pole, not like I did at my apartment, it's not private or mutual or consensual. The pole violates me.

A man whistles, beckoning me over.

My parents always told me not to take anything from strangers, what am I doing?

I walk away, he immediately gives me my money and orders me around.

But the thing is, he didn't just give me a twenty or ask for a lap dance. He was clearly rich, clearly loaded. He had a big wad of cash.

And I knew it was going to be a long night.

But still, I smiled, down on my knees, tracing his jawline with my finger.

"Maybe a private room would suit you better... Huh?"

I don't wanna play the leader anymore.


	3. Always Wanting More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A knock on the door wakes me up. It surprises me but I'm not surprised. I hate how excited I feel when I hear that knock. Like pavlov's dog, I'm drooling at the mere idea of human intimacy and it disgusts me. I jump from the couch to get the door, sick at my own excitement."

Life is full of routine, sometimes comforting, sometimes boring.

The routine of my life is neither comforting nor boring. It just is. I just am. I've been existing like this for a few years now. Not moving forward or backward, just the same.

Everything's the same.

My life is more or less the same thing everyday. I wake up. Everyone does... unless they don't... That's dark... Sometimes my mind goes to dark places when I'm alone... I hate being alone.

My grandma abandoned me out of desperation, my parents abandoned me out of choice, and Minerva...that's complicated.

For now I need to get out of bed and get ready for work. I throw the blankets off myself, skin pimpling as the cold air hits my warm body. My blankets are heavy, I find the weight of them helps me relax, without them I fear I would never fall asleep at all. Sometimes I pretend it's not just a blanket, but a presence, a being, someone to keep me company and help me stay warm. I know that makes me sound pathetic.

I leave my bedroom and go to my small kitchen. Living alone isn't ideal, but it's fine. You get used to the quiet after a while. I rummage through my cabinets looking for something to eat, finding a box of cheerios, but I hate cheerios, I only bought them for Minerva. She likes to eat them when she stays over. I bypass the cheerios and grab a bag of half eaten chips.

Leaning against the counter I pop them into my mouth one after one, crunching them up and swallowing them down until they're gone. Not the healthiest breakfast but who am I trying to impress?

One benefit of living alone is that I can walk around in next to nothing. I find a pair of gym shorts that I had been wearing last night before bed, lying on the couch and I pull them on. I run my fingers through my blonde hair and I don't bother changing out of my tank top but I grab a coat to keep the chill out until I get to work and can put on my coveralls.

I work in a garage at a car dealership. The floors are shiny and clean. Almost like being in a hospital. It doesn't feel like working at a garage at all. I always wanted to work in one of those places on the side of the road that looks run down. Just a couple of people repairing cars for money, using their free time to fix up some busted old hot rod. Take something most people think is useless and turn it into something worthwhile again.

But no...I need insurance and a steady paycheck. So I compromised my dream.

I step into my coveralls as soon as I get to work. I pull it all the way up and stick my arms into the sleeves, zipping it about halfway. I'm always cold when I first get to work, but I overheat as the day goes on and usually tie the arms off around my waist by lunch.

The day goes by as expected. Expensive cars roll in, the owners throw me their keys and look at my oil stained pants with a sneer like I'm below them. They need me. They use me. I offer a service they can't provide for themselves, they pay their money and they're gone. All part of the job. They don't appreciate the art of it. The beauty of taking something broken and making it work again.

Work is a nice reprieve from my loneliness, but it only lasts as long as my shift does. While I get along with the other mechanics, they have their own friends, their own families outside of the garage and I'm not part of that.

I say my goodbyes to my coworkers. I throw my dirty coveralls in the clothes bin in the locker room and then I leave, stopping by to pick up fast food on the way home. I always get chicken nuggets on my way home from work on Fridays. My reward to myself for making it through another week. Something to break up the monotony of every other weekday.

When I arrive home I prop my legs up on the coffee table as I eat. I watch cartoons because no one's here to make fun of me for it. It's not my fault that they make such good cartoons nowadays. I would have killed for cartoons like this when I was young. I fall asleep on the sofa as I often do on the weekend.

A knock on the door wakes me up. It surprises me but I'm not surprised. I hate how excited I feel when I hear that knock. Like pavlov's dog, I'm drooling at the mere idea of human intimacy and it disgusts me. I jump from the couch to get the door, sick at my own excitement.

"Violet!" Minerva exclaims, happy to see me, as she always is when she wants something from me. Minerva knows she's using me. I know that Minerva's using me and yet I keep allowing it to happen.

"Hey Minnie." I greet as I shut the door behind her, when I turn around her shirt's already on the floor and she's kissing me. Before I can even kiss her back she's moved down to my neck and she's pulling at my shirt.

I shake any thoughts of being used from my head and I allow myself to succumb to the heat coursing through my veins, "Bedroom?" Minerva asks and I grant permission by leading the way. I fall into her arms on my mattress and if only for a moment I relish in not being alone.

The feeling doesn't last though. The next morning she sits on my couch eating cereal. I grab an orange and peel it as I sit next to her, turning the TV onto a cartoon channel.

"Scoot over, you're too close." She says to me, so I scoot, losing the human contact that I continue to crave.

"Are you working today?" Minerva asks me. I've been at this job for years now, my schedule has never changed and she still has to ask if I work on Saturday. If she cared about me, she would've taken the time to remember something as simple as that.

I want to tell her what I'm thinking but I only say, "Yes."

"Too bad, I wanted to go to the movies and I hate going alone. I'll just ask Sophie or someone to go with me." Minerva picks up the remote and switches it off the cartoons I turned on just a second ago, I don't argue.

"I get off at five, if you can wait until after then, I'll go with you." I speak up, not wanting to spend another night alone on my couch.

"No, I wanted to go earlier, it's fine, don't worry about it." Minerva stands and puts her empty bowl in the sink. No 'thank you Violet for always having my favorite cereal' or even a 'thanks for the sex' as she starts slipping her shoes on, all she says is, "I'll see you around." I wave goodbye but she doesn't look at me as she slips out.

She got what she wanted and she left me alone, just like everyone else.


	4. thrills don't come for free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine and Violet meet for the first time under interesting circumstances.

Shifting slightly in the bed, Violet felt slender arms wrap around her, her heart racing as they did. She had almost forgotten about the girl in her bed, as Minerva would usually be gone by now. But this was something she needed, something she knew she needed.

As Minerva tucked her head into the crook of her neck, she began to leave kisses against the exposed, pale skin.

Then Violet knew she was nothing special.

Minerva hadn't wrapped her arms around her in her sleep, wanting to be as close as possible, wanting to feel the blonde. Oh no, she had only wrapped her arms around her in the hopes of waking her up to get a taste of something else before she had to leave.

It was so much worse than last time.

"Are you awake?" She whispered sweetly, reaching her hand up to tuck Violet's locks behind her ear before she left another kiss to her neck, "I'm feeling a little bit energized, how about you? Good sleep?"

"Better with you here,"

"Mmmm," she hummed, sitting herself up and on the blonde's torso, placing Violet's hands on her hips.

"What are you doing?"

"Blowing off some steam," she replied, leaning down to kiss her lips.

"You're boney."

"Is that bad?"

"You should probably eat more. Too skinny."

"I'm sorry Minnie. I'll try."

"Good girl." She smiled down at her, her lips curling into an almost sickeningly evil snare.

"Look at me. I like it when you make eye contact with me."

The blonde looked up at her, Minerva's thumb and index finger placed on her chin as she smiled up, almost convincing herself and the redhead that it was a genuine smile.

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen." Violet told her. "I look forward to seeing you every goddamn day."

"I know you do," she trailed her hand down the blonde's shirt, her palms gently cupping what little breast she could find, "You're so... attentive. Always so attentive. You like me, don't you?"

"Course I do."

"Say it. Make me believe it," she suddenly stated, her smile fading and eyes growing empty as she leaned closer to the girl, her hand squeezing the mound of flesh but it was anything but pleasurable,

"I don't believe you, I want to hear you say it."

"I-I like you! I like you!" She said, forcing a small smile to her lips. Violet caressed the redheads hips with both of her hands, smiling painfully as she spoke, hoping that the next four words would encourage the girl to let go of her.

"I love you, Minerva."

She smiled down at the blonde, her face softening as she leaned closer to captivate her lips one more time, her grip no longer strong.

"I know you do. Good girl."

~~~~~~~~

It was hours later. Minerva had been gone since morning. It was the day before Sophie and Louis's wedding. Minerva was the maid of honor and so had bachelorette duties to perform for her sister. Not that it mattered. Minerva would have been gone long before now anyway.

Violet stood in front of her mirror, pulling on her black skinny jeans and white t-shirt. She was happy to be one of Louis's grooms people, honored. After all they had been good friends since Violet had been sent to Ericson's boarding school at eleven years old.

Marlon as the best man though? Violet wasn't so sure about that. She never really understood why Louis and Marlon got along so well and their friendship kept Violet at a distance. Whenever Marlon was around, Violet couldn't help but feel like she came in second place. Even though they had a big group of friends, Brody, Mitch, Ruby, Aasim, Marlon, Louis, Sophie and Minerva, she still felt alone. Like she never really belonged. Like they invited her to go out with them because they had to, not because they wanted to. Because they felt sorry for her.

When she hung out with Louis, just her and him, things went smoothly. They had great conversations and despite their many differences, they had fun together. They hadn't had time to hang out just the two of them lately though with Louis getting married and all. He spent most of his time with Sophie. Which was understandable, Violet didn't hold it against him, but it only further divided her from those around her, making her feel even more alone than she ever had before.

"Violet! Hurry up! I don't want to be late!" Mitch yelled from her living room. Violet walked out of her bedroom with a glare on her face.

"What do you think's going to happen if we're late? That the strippers will just put all their clothes back on and leave?" Violet crammed her wallet into her back pocket as she spoke, "I'm doing this for Lou, I don't want to go anyway, you guys are gross."

"Hey! I don't want to do this either!" Louis whined, Marlon coming up beside him, hooking his arm around his neck.

"Trust me, you do." Marlon smirked, "Don't get me wrong, I love Brody. She's the love of my life, but you get tired of looking at the same thing after a while. Sometimes you need a little something for the imagination in the bedroom if you know what I mean."

Violet and Louis both crinkled their noses at Marlon's comment. He and Brody had been married for a year now. Barely out of the newlywed phase and already he was getting bored. Both Louis and Violet had tried their best to talk to each of the couple individually, with Marlon being drunk and admitting he felt as if he and her didn't belong, and Brody being clueless and still completely in bliss of having a husband to share her life with.

One thing was clear, it wasn't gonna work out.

"Not me." Louis shook his head, "I'll never need inspiration for my love life, besides the love of my life."

Violet patted him on the shoulder, "That's why I'm friends with you and not M&M here."

"Vi! You're going to looove this!" Mitch threw an arm around her shoulders, "I can't believe you've never been to one of these places! I'm telling you, I scoped out a ton of strip clubs before narrowing it down to this joint. The girls here are hot."

"I'd rather not have to pay a woman to take her clothes off thanks and you didn't answer my question, why do we have to get there when they open? What's it matter?" Violet shrugged his arm off her shoulders.

"Because you want to get there when they still have their clothes on. The anticipation is half the fun!" Mitch exclaimed giddily, "Let's gooo!"

Violet rolled her eyes and allowed herself to be led out to the SUV, "Nice sweatpants Mitch, shouldn't you at least dress a little nicer if you want to impress the girls?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mitch pulled out a stack of ones, "This is all I need to impress these girls and my sweatpants are thinner than my jeans, I can feel-"

"Nevermind!" Violet quickly stopped him, "I'm sorry I asked."

Call her whatever you want but she thought the idea of men and some women, sitting around, nudging each other and ogling over women was distasteful. Women taking their clothes off for money, allowing themselves to be treated like objects. Yes, Violet knew some women chose the profession, wanted to strip for whatever reason, but she just didn't get why anyone would want to subject themselves to that. She knew she couldn't.

Violet climbed into the SUV with Louis, Mitch, and Marlon, Aasim at the wheel as designated driver.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clementine looked at herself in the full body mirror that leaned against the wall at the foot of her bed. She was wearing the smallest bikini top and bottoms she could find. They didn't leave much to the imagination, but considering most girls at the club went completely topless, she was covering more than most. She had tried before, but unlike the other girls she could never seem to keep the mask on in front of so many leering men when she was wearing nothing. It was easier in the private rooms, in front of one person. It still turned her stomach, it still made her chest ache but Honey had no problem with it.

The amount of confidence that thin piece of fabric provided was almost silly. Men thought she kept it on for the allure, or to try and entice them to the private room but no. It was for her own dignity, whatever she had left of it anyway.

Her eyes scanned over her reflection, finding blemishes and imperfections that she then covered with make-up. You'd think men would be content just to see what they came for, naked women, but no, with so many naked women in one room they judged and compared them against one another. Whatever you could do to hide your faults, the more money you stood to make.

Even though Clementine considered herself good friends with the girls at the club, they were still competition at the same time. It was horrible but true. Surrounded by people night after night and Clementine had never felt more alone.

One last glance in the mirror and she deemed herself ready to get dressed for work. She pulled on her fishnet stockings, all the way up to the top of her thighs. She then strapped on her garter belt and attached it to the top of the fishnets. Men seemed to find it sexy and whatever she could do to wear as much clothing as possible, she was going to do it. She grabbed her corset next, deftly tightening it around her torso, smiling at herself when she remembered how long it had taken her to put it on the first time. Last of all she put on her orange dress. Not bright orange like a traffic cone, but a burnt orange, like hot coals, smoldering beneath the flames.

She was Honey now, in dress but not persona, no, that didn't come out until she stepped foot onto the stage with her make-up and hair done. For now she was still Clementine and Clementine felt exposed.

The brunette grabbed her favorite red hoodie. It said 'Brooklyn' across the chest in white letters. No, she had never been to Brooklyn, never even been to New York, but someone kind had given her that hoodie years ago and it was all she had left to remember him by.

The hoodie came down to her midthigh, more than long enough to cover her dress completely. She grabbed a pair of jeans to put on after work and grabbed her blue baseball cap that rested on the small island that divided the kitchen from the living room and placed it on her head. If Honey was the armor she put on every night in order to stay sane, able to strip for money, night after night, then her hat and hoodie were her security blankets. They gave her a sense of comfort and safety. They reminded her that deep down she was still Clementine, that even though she had grown somewhat desensitized to her occupation, it still wasn't who she was inside.

Clementine slipped on her comfortable tennis shoes, her platform heels she kept in a locker at work and left her tiny apartment. Ready for another uneventful day on the job.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'll be back at 1am to get you guys, try not to get too wasted." Aasim said as Marlon, Mitch, Louis and Violet piled out of the car, "No one better vomit in my car!"

"Don't get your hopes up!" Mitch laughed as he jumped out of the SUV, smiling like a kid on Christmas, ready to unwrap his presents, or more like ready to watch his presents unwrap themselves, "Let's go fellas... and Vi."

Violet rolled her eyes as they walked to the door, a large dark skinned man stood barring their entry. Marlon pulled out his wallet and paid the cover charge for all of them. As soon as it was paid Mitch pushed everyone aside in order to go in first.

"Sweet." He grinned, "There's still seats open in the front." He zig-zagged his way through the tables, the others struggling to keep up with his pace.

Violet was at the back, she slowed down, trying to get a good look at her surroundings. She had never been in a strip club before. There was a stage set up at the front of the room. It was long and took up almost the entire length of the wall. A pole was centered on either side of the stage. It was dark inside, soft light emitted from sconces on the walls, most of the room's light seemed to be provided by blacklights that hung from the ceiling. Violet frowned down at her white t-shirt, it glowed like a beacon and she groaned. She wanted to blend in as much as possible, now she stuck out more than ever.

Clouds of smoke hung in the air as men around the room smoked their cigars. A bar was in the back, Violet sighed in relief when she saw it, "I'm getting a drink." She told the boys once she caught up to them.

"I want one!"

"Me too!"

"Get me one!"

They all shouted out, giving her their drink order, she made a mental note of what they wanted.

"Hurry before the show starts!" Mitch cried just as the music started up and a blonde haired girl walked out on stage. He grinned, wolf like and pulled a stack of ones from his coat pocket, waving it around for the girl to see. Violet kept her eyes off the stage and slunk to the back where the bar was located. She weaved around all the tables, trying to avoid looking at all the men with lust in their eyes, practically drooling at the woman that had just come out.

~~~~~~~~~

Clementine sat in the dressing room in the back of the strip club. She was perched on a stool, her posture perfect as she put on the finishing touches to her work ensemble. Heavy coats of make-up; mascara, orange eyeshadow, lipstick the shade of a ripe peach. All of it finished off with a light shimmering of glitter. All she had left to do was her hair. She grabbed her curling iron and got to work taming the mass of brunette waves.

Around her other girls got ready. Everyone had their own way of coping. One girl didn't even bother to hide as she did a line of coke right off her vanity table. Clementine didn't judge. She hadn't resorted to that personally but she understood why some women would.

"Carver wants you Clem." One of the other strippers, Molly, said as she walked into the dressing room, her stripped off clothes piled up in her arms. She dumped it onto the vanity beside Clementine.

"Not again...Can't that asshat run a club without hasling the ones that make him money?" Clementine groaned, standing, she looked at her reflection, orange dress, make-up, curly hair, it was like looking at herself in a costume. She walked purposefully out of the dressing room, not having to look far as Carver was leaned up against the wall waiting for her to come out.

"I heard that." Carver said in his gravelly voice, the corner of his lips turned up in amusement.

"What is it?" Clementine folded her arms across her chest, looking at the man with a glare, straight into his eyes. That was the one good thing about this job, in her eight inch heels, no one looked down on Honey.

"Just thought I'd make sure you planned on playing nice tonight." Carver chuckled at the put out look on Clementine's face.

"I always play nice." Clementine stared him down hard, "It's not my fault the bouncers you hired can't do their job and keep us from getting groped."

"Now I wouldn't call what he did a-" Carver started only to be cut off.

"He put his hands on my body without my permission, no one else stopped him, so I did." Clementine said, feeling in the right on the matter.

"Oh you stopped him alright, stopped him so good that you sent him to the hospital. I had to pay him off so that he wouldn't sue the club or give us bad publicity." Carver was the one looking self-righteous now.

"And you're taking it out of my tips until I pay you back. I know." Clementine huffed, "You basically own me for another year. I remember. Is there anything else you need Master or are we just discussing what we already know."

"Feeling fiery today are we?" Carver chuckled, "No, that's it. I just wanted to make sure you were on your best behavior. I just want a nice quiet night with no incidents."

"What a coincidence, that's what I want too." Clementine retorted, watching as Carver walked away shaking his head, going into his office at the end of the hall. She turned her head toward the curtain that was right next to her. She listened as the song set of the performer in front of her ended. It was time to go out. She squared her shoulders, flipped her hair out of her eyes, and sauntered onto the stage.

Her hips swung in both directions, and her bored expression changed faster than imaginable. It had been hard at first, but now all it took to become Honey was the flip of a switch.

Nobody had really noticed her yet, and so she reached out for her pole and wrapped both her hands around it, hugging her body to it and lifting herself up, beginning to move up it until she caught it with her legs and spun around it, spreading both legs to captivate it in her touch.

By now, somebody had definitely noticed her.

And that somebody was fascinated.

~~~~~~

Violet slumped back in the booth, sipping her drink lazily, she couldn't tear her eyes off this one stripper. Every time she looked back down, her eyes wandered back in her direction. Those brunette curls, that caramel skin, her luscious... she flushed red as she looked back at her drink for the hundredth time. No, she was already in one emotionless relationship, she didn't need another.

The boys hadn't been shy about spending their money, not in the slightest. Marlon had gone to the ATM across the street two times now, not wanting to lose any potential partners, willing to allow him an escape from his wife.

Poor, poor, innocent, Brody.

She sighed, bored. They were all deep in conversation, trying to convince Louis to get a lap dance from one of the girls but even slipping the girls some money had been too much for him. He feared he would pass out from the stress of the betrayal of his soon-to-be wife.

At least somebody was loyal.

Violet hummed very quietly, tapping at her drink and pursing her lips in deep thought, eye wandering back to that one stripper as her phone vibrated in her pocket.

She reached into her pocket, very carefully slipping it out, remembering the rules, that no cell phones were allowed near the stage, as she read the screen as carefully as she could.

Minnie: text me when you're home

Suddenly, a bubble of happiness burst inside of the blonde.

She now knew that she would be anticipating what could possibly happen when she got home.

And she couldn't wait.

"What could you be looking at that's more interesting than me?" a husky voice said, entirely too close.

Violet's head popped up, nearly missing hitting the stripper on the chin, the same stripper she had been staring at all night, "I wasn't um... I was just... sorry." Violet stuttered, attempting to cram the phone into her pocket it tumbled onto the ground.

"I might be willing to forgive you, just this once." the girl said, "If you buy a dance from me that is. Give me a break from all of these men. I could use some female company." she leaned in closer.

"No, um... I-I can't..." Violet exhaled, her eyes widening at the idea.

"But I find myself drawn to you, like a moth to a flame." The brunette whispered, one hand on the table in front of Violet now, so close the blonde could feel the heat radiating from her body.

Violet found it hard to swallow, heart palpitating wildly when she looked down and noticed the bright glowing of her white t-shirt in the blacklights, "You're making fun of my shirt aren't you?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"Not at all. It means this is your first time in a strip club and I find that very tantalizing... I'm willing to give you half-price."

"I-I just wouldn't feel right... I'm sorry..." Violet said, not wanting to insult the girl.

The stripper sighed dramatically and bent down to pick up the phone that had been dropped and forgotten. She made a show of bending at the waist, not the knees. Cleavage pressed out for Violet to see, the blonde tried to look away, but she wasn't fast enough. As the stripper stood back up, her smirk showed that she had seen Violet's gaze.

"Th-thank you... M-miss." Violet stammered, but instead of the brunette handing the phone back she turned it to the camera.

"You can call me Honey," the brunette winked, snapping a selfie of herself on Violet's phone from the chest up, "And this is something to remember me by until you come back for that dance." She handed the phone back and sauntered away, swaying her hips enticingly.

"Fuck," Violet thought, "I think I'm gonna pass out from blushing..."

~~~~~~

The night went on pretty much the same and Violet was getting a headache from the loud music and alcoholic smell. Yeah, she had been drinking, but not too much. She wanted to be sober for Minerva, even if Minerva wasn't sober for her.

Honey hadn't approached her again, but she had approached everybody around her. She'd given a lap dance to Mitch, a lap dance to Marlon, offered one to Louis who declined, and just completely ignored the blonde.

Everytime she swung her hips by the table, Violet would sink back and down her drink as fast as possible, cheeks completely red. She kiiiiinda regretted not taking her up on that dance but, she could just tell that Louis and the guys would never let her live it down.

And what about Minerva, if she found out? The pair weren't dating but Violet still knew that sleeping with someone else or even coming close to touching someone else would trigger a fire within the redhead. Minerva could be rough when she wanted to.

But... she still cared about Violet, in some way. She had to tell herself that, or else she'd lose her only escape from loneliness.

As Violet drummed her fingers against the table, Louis looked up at the clock.

"It's almost one, we should go now, Aasim will be waiting. I want to get some type of decent sleep," he stated, both Marlon and Mitch ignoring him and looking at the stripper as they flaunted by. He looked at Violet, "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing, I'm just tired. I have a headache."

"Alright well, we're leaving now. You can go outside and get some air if you want,"

"Yeah, okay," she said, standing up from the booth and immediately taking the opportunity to leave the club.

Her feelings remained the same. She wasn't into that type of thing. Or that's what she kept telling herself as she sat in the backseat of Aasim's SUV, fighting the urge to look at the picture Honey had taken. She didn't look, but she didn't delete it either.

Being used by a stripper for money or by Minerva for physical satisfaction, was it really any different?

"Bye!" Violet waved at the boys as they drove off. She went inside her building and went up the elevator, opening the door she wasn't surprised to find Minerva waiting for her. After all she had given her a spare key a long time ago.

"What took you so long? I've been waiting for hours." Minerva said curtly, standing from the couch.

"I'm sorry, really sorry... I was going to text you."

"You better be, let's go." Minerva nodded toward the hallway that led to the bedroom.

"I thought maybe... we could watch a show together first? You like those cooking shows right? Maybe you can tell me how Sophie's bachelorette party went?" Violet asked, putting down her phone and all thoughts of Honey with it.

"Nah, I'm not in the mood for that, let's go." Minerva said again, walking down the hall without another word.

"Alright." Violet said to no one, whatever this was, had to be better than nothing, right? She followed Minerva back, allowing her to wrap her arms around her.

"Did you miss me?" Minerva asked in a sickeningly sweet voice, the smell of alcohol strong on her breath.

"Of course I did." Violet said, "I love you." and she meant it. Or meant it as much as she could for someone who grew up with whatever twisted version of love her parents had to offer. Minerva sneered out of Violet's eyesight and pulled her down onto the mattress.

Violet fell deep into Minerva's embrace.


	5. I'm happy for you

"Minnie?"

*Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What are we? Like, are we… dating or?"

"Well… I don't really want to date you, because I don't want to be seen with you in public, you know?"

"Oh."

"But we can still have sex. It doesn't have to be the end of that. I love fucking you."

"...o-okay…"

~~~~~~~~~

Violet remembers that night as if it were yesterday. She sat up in bed, the city beneath her apartment still active and awake as she wished she could fall asleep, she looked at the redhead beside her. She asked her that question, and to be fair… she got her answer.

Violet was disappointed by Minerva's comment, but realistically, what did she expect? The girl wasn't gonna fall into her arms and declare her undying love for her. It didn't happen like that. Nobody falls into your lap and suddenly, poof, you're married. The world is cruel like that.

As Violet stood in the mirror, fixing her tie, she began to think to herself. It was going to be a long, long day, and she knew that. Louis and Sophie had never been anything shy of extravagant, and had this been a few months earlier, she would most likely have to take tomorrow off of work due to a hangover.

But tonight, Violet didn't plan on drinking much. It was a simple mission. Get in and get out. Deal with it.

Minerva most likely wouldn't be coming around tonight, more than likely staying at the hotel and finding someone new to share the bed with.

But Violet didn't want to believe that, so she just told herself that her girlfriend was staying at the hotel so she didn't have to drive home drunk.

….right?

Violet shook the feeling of unease that was climbing up her stomach away. Not today. She couldn't take it today. She needed to smile, she was in public.

Honestly, what was the point of going to the stupid wedding, anyway? If she had her way, she wouldn't bother. Maybe she was just sour but she'd rather not waste her time watching a happy couple seal the deal with her own "whatever we are" woman standing right across from her. It was like some form of torture.

Nonetheless, Violet had a job to do. And she couldn't mope around, not until that job was done.

She took a step back from the mirror. She had finished. She flashed a smile, fake and genuine at the same time, and rehearsed her words.

"I'm happy for you." She said, before realizing the smile made it seem forced. 

So, she tried not smiling.

"I am happy for you."

"I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy. I'm happy for you both."

"Congratulations, I'm happy for you."

"I-I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found each other…"

"You deserve love."

~~~~~~~

“Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this fine couple.” The officiator was saying.

Violet tuned him out as she smiled, standing in front of the crowd, hands clasped together behind her back. She glanced around at the happy, sniffling faces of the crowd sitting in the pews. She was met with so many tears, but tears of joy, not sorrow. Violet couldn’t help but wonder if she started crying at that moment if they would be happy tears or sad ones. Happy for Louis and Sophie, who were her friends or sad because this was just one more thing to make her feel even more alone. 

Almost all of her friends were married now. Marlon and Brody. Aasim and Ruby. Now Louis and Sophie. Mitch wasn’t married yet, but… Mitch was Mitch. Minerva wasn’t married either, but as you know that was complicated.

Violet continued to look around, she saw the bridesmaids, standing behind Sophie, who was across from the groomsmen. Minerva was standing right behind her sister. She could almost look beautiful if Violet didn’t have so many mixed emotions fogging her perceptions of the redhead. Violet tried to catch her gaze, hoping Minerva might think that she looked beautiful too, but she never looked in her direction.

Violet was right behind Marlon, and Marlon was right behind Louis. she stared at his back, not really looking at it, looking through it instead as her mind wandered. What had brought her to this point? Standing around with friends that she didn’t even feel friendly towards. Being near them did nothing but to make her feel more left out. It wasn’t entirely their fault, she knew that she was partially to blame. She knew that she was guilty of withdrawing from them, but none of her friends really understood her though.

How could they? They all had parents that supported their dreams, their sexuality, that loved them. 

Sophie and Louis kissed, everyone cheered. It broke Violet from her trance and she forced a smile as clapped along with the crowd. They walked up to the friends and family that were waiting to greet them. Together they lead everyone out of the excessively large wedding hall and into the excessively large reception area.

Violet hung towards the back, giving small waves to those that greeted her, if they bothered at all. Watching as Minerva made her way to champagne table without a glance at Violet. The blonde sighed as the redhead started chatting with one of the other guests, touching their arm with an over the top laugh. 

She looked away. They had taken pictures of the wedding party before the ceremony and now that the wedding had been completed, Violet’s groomswoman tasks were completed. Marlon, the best man, would need to make a speech at the reception, but Violet wasn’t needed any longer. She doubted anyone would even notice if she stayed or not. She didn’t announce she was leaving, but she didn’t sneak out either. Regardless, no one attempted to stop her as she walked out into the parking lot of the grand hotel and away from the celebrations.

~~~~~~~~

Just as she suspected, that night she received no phone calls or texts from Minerva. Still trying to decide whether that made her happy or sad, Violet walked to her fridge and grabbed a beer. She glanced at her phone one more time to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. 

She hadn’t.

Her fingers had a mind of their own as they tapped on the camera app and opened the photos. She was greeted with the picture Honey had taken. Violet stared at it for a minute. Never had she seen a more perfect face… except for Minerva’s… of course… Violet thought guiltily as she turned off her phone and flipped on the tv. 

Violet wasn't really watching the TV, it was more background noise. She was watching it, but not paying attention. It didn't matter to her. She didn't really care. She just didn't want to go to bed so early because she knew she'd wake up early and it'd ruin her sleep schedule. Her eyes glanced to the door as if on instinct, and a knock came, knocking her from her gaze and forcing her to stand up.

Not tonight. Not tonight. Not tonight. Her brain reminded her as she walked towards the door, knowing it was Minerva. But how did she even get there? Violet didn't question.

She reached out, her hand wrapping around the handle before she turned around. And around. Her feet twisted. And her back was to the door. This is when her hand had let go. She walked back into the apartment, quietly, and towards her room. Leaving the redhead gaping for her, just like the redhead always did to her.

~~~~~~~

The day was just going too slow for Violet. All she wanted was to get in to work and get out, but it seemed to be the one thing she couldn't achieve. Emotionally, she felt lost, and her co-workers constant laughter made her feel worse. She couldn't hear herself think. She couldn’t really feel at all, she just… she just felt numb.

“And when Mitch…” Marlon was laughing so hard he clutched at his stomach, “Mitch got so drunk he started slow dancing with Louis’s Grandma… that was the best. Best wedding reception ever. I'm glad you were there to see it." He said, sitting at the metal table in the employee lounge at the car dealership.

“Yeah…” Violet took a bite of her peanut butter sandwich, not really interested in the conversation. Not in the slightest. She’d rather listen to the vending machine behind her buzzing it’s electrical hum than listen to Marlon ramble on about a reception that she hadn’t stayed for. Marlon certainly hadn’t noticed that she hadn’t been there, the way he kept going on.

As he stopped laughing, the blonde man took out his phone and looked at it before smirking to himself. He snickered before typing back to whoever had messaged him.  
"Can you close up tonight? I have somewhere to be. I can't be late."

Violet hummed. There goes her plans…  
"Where? I thought Brody was out of town."

"She is. I'm going to an interview."

"Oh." Violet said solemnly, "No, I can't close up. I have somewhere to be after work and I don't have time to run around and check everything. You can book your interview for another day," she stated as she chewed the last part of her sandwich and got back to work, wiping her hands on her overalls.

"Really?? Fuck you, I need to go to this fucking interview!"

"You can," she replied, rolling her eyes in an almost comical manner, picking up her spanner, "just not today." She replied. 

This was a tantrum. And Marlon, he was good at tantrums. With the amount he had at the garage, Violet often felt for Brody, wishing she could go back in time and advise her friend not to marry such a scummy, two-faced, man-child. That was a regret she would carry with her for a long time.

"What could you possibly have to do after work?" He questioned with a cocked eyebrow, "You're a loner."

"Yeah, I am, but that doesn't mean I don't have priorities." She stated with furrowed eyebrows, not looking at the man as he continued his tantrum.  
"Look, you're not going to that interview, so fucking get over it, Marlon. The sooner you get working, the faster we'll both get out of here!"

He stomped his foot like a child, causing the blonde to roll her eyes.  
"This is bullshit!"

"Yeah, it is!" She declared, standing up and marching over to him, she put the spanner in his hand. "Now get on with it!" She urged, pushing him out of the way. He lifted his hand as if to push her back, and she grabbed his fist.  
"Don't you dare raise a hand at me, maybe Brody's scared of you, but I'm fucking not." She snapped. "Work, Marlon. Or I'll report you to the boss. Got it?"

He twitched, somewhat nervous but still angry.  
"I got it."

~~~~

Work ended, Marlon was closing up the shop, though he made certain to throw a hissy fit about it as Violet left. She didn’t care though, she was a woman on a mission. It was a Friday night, she going home, taking a shower, eating dinner and going to the strip club. 

No she wasn’t suddenly one of those kinds of people now, that spent her weekends escaping reality at the club but she had to admit to herself that she was enamoured by the curly haired stripper she had seen there a week ago.

She lost count of how often she had pulled out her phone to just to look at that selfie Honey had snapped. Violet’s eyes would flit around the picture, briefly landing on her sultry smirk and ample cleavage. But for some reason Violet’s gaze always ended on her honey gold eyes. The way they reflected the light from the harsh flash of her camera. The way they were framed by her thick lashes. The way they looked alluring and just a little bit sad. Violet felt a connection to those eyes. They were different from her own green eyes in every way, and yet they felt the same… 

The second Violet pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex she unlocked her phone and opened up the picture again. There was definitely something about those eyes that drew Violet in. An empathy. Almost as if they were telling her ‘Violet, I understand’. 

Violet stared at the photo all the way up the elevator until she was inside her apartment. She undressed from her tank top and gym shorts. They smelled like oil and were smeared with all kinds of automotive fluids.

She turned the shower on hot and scrubbed under her nails, trying to get the dark stains out. She wanted to look her best for tonight.

After scrubbing all over, Violet stepped out of the shower, her skin pink from the heat of it. Lines of vapor trailing off her skin as her warm body met the cooler air outside of the bathroom.

She dried off and looked through her closet, rifling through her shirts to find just the right one. Extra careful to not pick anything that would light her up like a glowstick under the blacklights. She went with her gray short sleeved button up and black vest.

Violet laughed at herself as she looked nervously at her reflection. She was going to a strip club. On her own. To see a stripper that she had… she didn’t know what she had. A crush? Infatuation? Something completely unhealthy and unrequited? Regardless, she was nervous and excited and she hadn’t felt this way in a long time. Besides, she was already in an unhealthy relationship, this couldn’t be any worse.

She sighed and flattened her hair down before looking at her watch. The club would be open in about thirty minutes. Just enough time to grab some fast food before she got there. She took her keys off the counter and headed towards her car.

~~~~~~~~~

“Stupid piece of-” Clementine yelled, beating her steering wheel as smoke began emitting from her engine. The meter on her instrument panel showed that the engine was running hot. She pulled it off onto the side of the road, growling angrily. If she didn’t get moving she was going to be late for work. If she didn’t go to work she couldn’t earn money. If she didn’t earn money she’d never pay off Carver, get out of that hell hole of a job and go to college. 

Maybe college wasn’t worth all of this trouble anyway. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to go to school for. When she was younger she had wanted to be a dancer. Hah. She laughed at herself, her dreams had come true, but not in the way she had imagined them. 

She had always imagined herself on a stage, lights shining on her, all eyes following her around, everyone clapping. She had lights on her at the club, not spotlights so everyone could see her clearly, but black lights that hid imperfections on her skin. Eyes followed her, not in admiration of her dancing ability, but with lust for her body. Instead of clapping they threw dollar bills on the stage.

Dancing… real dancing… It was too late for that dream. She was too old to start a career in dancing now. No one would accept her, besides, what would she put on her resume? Exotic dancer? She was sure that would look nice.

She stepped out of her car and adjusted her cap. Walking to the front she unlatched the hood and propped it up on the attached rod as smoke billowed out. She stared at the engine like it was an alien life form. She wasn’t sure why she even bothered opening the hood, she knew absolutely nothing about cars.

A car drove past, slowing down slightly. Don’t stop, please don’t stop. Clementine groaned internally, tugging down her hoodie, wishing she’d pulled jeans on over her fishnets as the car pulled beside her and stopped.

The passenger side window rolled down, “Hey darlin’, need a ride?” A man asked, not only moving his eyes as he scanned over her body but his entire head, not trying to hide the fact he was undressing her with his eyes in the least.

“No. I’m fine.” Clementine said curtly, hugging her arms over her chest.

“I was just tryin’ to be nice, don’t gotta be a bitch about it.” He glared and then tore off down the road. Clementine stared after him, thankful he had left, not even phased by his words. She had heard things like that for so long now it didn’t even affect her anymore.

She looked frustratedly back down at the engine, only to hear the sound of another car approaching. She tensed as the car slowed and pulled to the side of the road in front of hers. She shoved her hands in her hoodie pocket, relaxing slightly when she felt the pepper spray she kept in a hidden pocket inside.

“Do you need some help?” Asked a woman as she hopped out of the driver’s side of an old pick-up truck.

Clementine sighed with relief, grateful it wasn’t a man. That didn’t stop her from pulling her hat further down over her eyes, “No… that’s okay, thank you though.”

“I’m a mechanic, I don’t mind helping.” the woman said, coming up closer.

“No, I have it under control, thanks.” Clementine kicked herself for saying it. She knew she didn’t have it under control. She was going to be stuck calling Carver to come pick her up and he’d probably take it out of her tips or something.

“Oh, alright, I guess I shouldn’t say that it looks like your car is overheating and you should probably check your coolant levels then? That I should just get back in my car, where I happen to have some extra coolant and drive off on my way?” The woman shrugged dramatically, turning to leave, “Bye then…”

“Wait!” Clementine called out, looking up at the woman, her face seemed familiar, her voice too now that she thought about it, but she couldn’t quite place it. She didn’t go anywhere or do anything besides work or the grocery store and when she was out shopping, she kept her head down and said as little as possible. She had to be someone she had seen at the club, “Please help me, I can pay you.”

The blonde turned around with a smile, “How long has your engine been off?”

“About fifteen minutes? Maybe longer…” Clementine answered, watching as the woman went back to her car, popped open a metal box that ran the length of the truck bed. After a minute of rummaging she came back with a rag and bottle of what Clementine presumed was coolant.

“You should really wait longer, but in an emergency, that’s long enough.” She reached in with the rag and used it to protect her hand as she opened up the radiator cap, keeping her face a good distance back. Steam spewed and hissed from the cap as she pulled it off.

“Thank you for doing this, I’m running late for work, you’re a lifesaver.” Clementine said as the blonde checked the coolant levels and shook her head.

“This is really low. I’m going to fill you up, but you need to get your car to a shop tomorrow, you probably have a leak somewhere.” 

“Yes, of course, thank you so much.” Clementine said with relief, “I was afraid I was going to have to get it towed.” 

“You’re welcome.” the blonde smiled at her, she screwed the cap on after filling it up and used the rag to wipe off her hands. The brunette couldn’t help but watch with interest as Violet worked.

“You really saved my skin, I’m Clementine by the way.” The brunette held out her hand.

“Violet.” She smiled, looking at her hand to make sure it was clean before she shook Clementine’s.

“Thank you, Violet.” Clementine said as Violet dropped the hood and made sure it was locked in place, “How much do I owe you for your help?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Violet waved Clementine off as she reached into her car to grab her purse, the blonde couldn’t help but notice her fishnets and short skirt as she bent over.

“You’re sure?” Clementine asked, standing back up straight, catching Violet’s stare.

“Yes.” Violet assured walking closer, “Just go ahead and crank it up, I want to make sure it runs before I leave.”

“Alright.” Clementine got into her car, leaving the door open and turned the key. Violet walked up beside the open door so that she could see the instrument panel. The car started up with no problem, the engine was reading as no longer overheated, “Thank you Violet! You’re amazing!” Clementine cheered, looking up into the blonde haired girl’s face, giving her a clear shot of her features for the first time.

Violet’s green eyes immediately connected with those honey ones and her breath caught in her throat, “H-Honey?” She asked with uncertainty.

Clementine’s heart dropped and her face along with it at the use of her other name, “That’s what I go by at work, yes.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just…” Violet scratched her neck nervously, “I was at the club last Friday night. At my friend’s bachelor party. You, um… took a selfie on my phone…”

Clementine’s eyes widened in recognition. “Of course, I remember you.”

“I was going to the club to, uh, see you actually… right now. That’s why I drove this way and saw you on the side of the road… That sounds creepy out loud… I’m sorry…” Violet cursed herself.

“Oh…” Clementine had thought Violet was cute when she had seen her, shirt glowing in the blacklight, found her adorable actually, but she had sworn off relationships a long time ago. Violet had been so timid in the club. Barely able to look at the brunette at all, but maybe she misjudged the blonde, it wouldn’t have been the first time she misjudged somebody.

Fear grew inside her, afraid Violet, like everyone else was only after one thing, “I can give you a free lap dance tonight, as a thank you for helping me out. If you want…” Her chest tightened as she waited for Violet’s response. Waiting for the blonde to become just another lecherous customer on her list.

“N-no thanks…” Violet stood up and crossed her arms, hoping she wasn’t insulting the woman’s profession or sexual appeal by turning her down, “but… maybe you could let me buy you a drink instead, as thanks?”

Clementine couldn’t help the giggle of relief that bubbled up her throat, “You helped me, shouldn’t I buy you a drink?”

“I don’t really care who buys the drink.” Violet shrugged, looking down at her boots, unable to meet Clementine’s gaze, “I just want to get to know you.”

Clementine found herself shocked by very little these days. Years of working in the club had her placed in all types of unseemly situations. There wasn’t a fetish or perversion that surprised her anymore, but this. Someone coming to the club because they wanted to talk to her specifically. Not just talk about themselves or to have company, lots of old men came for that reason, but Violet wanted to get to know her better. Never had Clementine seen anyone come to the strip club for that.

“Okay.” Was all Clementine could manage to get out.

“Okay?” Violet smiled, looking up at her honey eyes once more, “I’ll see you there then… drive safe.” Drive safe?! Violet screamed at herself as she turned and walked back to her car. Who was she, her grandma?


	6. Why dwell?

Violet sat at a booth to the side. It seemed like strippers approached less when you were in a booth. At least that's what it seemed from the very small amount of time she had been in a strip club. Being in a booth usually meant you weren't interested in a lap dance, that was more easily accomplished in a stand alone chair.

That was the case with all the other strippers at least, but why had Honey come up to her the previous week even though she had been in a booth. Was there some small chance that she found Violet attractive too, that she had wanted to talk to her and wasn't just looking for money.

Whistles filled the air as two new dancers walked out on stage. Violet looked up from her drink, heart fluttering and grin spreading across her face as her green eyes met the golden eyes of the curly haired girl she had seen just an hour ago on the side of the road. She almost hadn't pulled over, she was in such a rush to get the club that she almost didn't do the right thing, but she had. Not always do you get a reward for doing the right thing, but oh what a reward she had been given this time. She had learned Honey's real name, Clementine. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl, she wanted to say it out loud but she was sitting alone and didn't want to look like a crazy person talking to herself.

Instead she sipped on her drink and watched as Honey lifted herself effortlessly onto the pole, holding on with her legs and letting go with her arms. She arched backwards as she spun, unbuttoning the top she was wearing, she let it slip over her shoulders and fly out of her hands in one smooth motion it landed on the stage.

Violet's cheeks reddened as she watched. She looked passed the cleavage and exposed skin, watching Honey's rehearsed movements and almost vacant expression instead. Unlike some of the other dancers Violet had seen come up, Honey worked with the music, not against it. While her aim was to take her off her clothes in the sexiest way possible, and if you asked Violet she was very successful at that, the honey eyed girl had an artistry about the way she did it. There was more to it than simply getting naked. The men holding out five dollar bills, trying to vie for her attention didn't seem to notice the depth to her movements, but Violet did. Honey was an amazing dancer. Sensual? Yes, but there was something more to it than that.

After a few songs, Honey collected the dollars that had accumulated on the stage and stuck them in her money bag, moving her stripped off clothes backstage before she began to work the crowd for lap dances. Violet looked away, unable to stomach the sight, hoping that Clementine remembered that she wanted to talk with her, that she would come around to her table, even though she was to the side and out of the way.

She wasn't disappointed when after thirty minutes had passed a drink clinked down on the table in front of her, "Huh?" She looked up in surprise, Honey shot her a wink, standing right beside her.

"Drink's on me, as a thank you." Honey grinned, holding a drink of her own.

"Can you sit for a minute?" Violet asked, voice shaking, hopes raised, she pointed to the empty seat across from her.

"Sitting's what I do best." Honey smiled, dropping down right on Violet's lap. The blonde's heart and breathing rate increased, "I'm sorry, is that not what you wanted?"

Incapable of words, Violet patted the small amount of empty space on the bench beside her. With a giggle, Honey slid off her lap and onto the seat. Violet attempted to scoot over to give the girl more room, but Honey threw an arm around Violet's waist and held her in place, "Don't go, I feel less lonely when you're beside me." She said, an earnestness in her eyes, before she likes away and took a long drink of dark liquid from the glass in her other hand.

"Okay." Violet's face reddened, she had expected to have a drink with Clementine, not Honey. She had not mentally prepared for all the touching and flirting. Violet looked instead at the drink Honey had brought her, "What'd you get me?" Violet looked curiously at the yellowish looking liquid in the wine glass that sat in front of her.

"That's mead, honey wine." Honey said, she set down her own glass and picked up Violet's, moving it to the blonde's lips for her, "You look like the kind of girl who enjoys the way honey tastes," She said with a wink.

Violet nearly choked on the drink, sputtering she pushed it away from her lips. "So, Clement-" Violet started, wanting to find out more about the girl, but Honey's finger pressed against her mouth in a 'shshing' sort of way.

"It's Honey in the club, please." Clementine looked at her imploringly, "I have a fairly unique name, I don't trust most customers with it. I don't want them to find me on social media or find out where I live."

"I get that, I'm sorry, Honey." Violet emphasized her name, shooting her a wink.

"So accommodating, I like that in a woman." Honey grinned taking another sip, "I'll give you two songs, as a thank you." She shifted on the bench to fully face Violet, pressing herself closer, "We can use that time doing whatever you wish."

"G-great." Violet stuttered out, taking a sip of mead to hide her nervousness, "W-where are you from?"

Clementine sat back slightly, surprised by the question, "Georgia, originally, but that was a long time ago... You?"

"Texas," Violet answered, "but after my Grandma died, my parents sent me to school out here. After I graduated I stuck around, there was nothing back home for me anymore. I have... friends... here, so I stayed and got a job as a mechanic."

Clementine noticed how she hesitated on the word 'friends' but she didn't question it, "Next week is Christmas, got any plans?" The brunette asked, finishing her drink off and setting it back down on the table.

"My best friend Brody and her husband invited me over for Christmas lunch. So I'll go over there. She's having turkey, mashed potatoes, a real Christmas feast. It should be good." Violet tried to force a smile. She really wanted to spend Christmas alone. Well, she didn't really want that either, but she didn't want to spend it with her 'friends'. She wanted to spend it with her girlfriend... how she ached to have a real girlfriend to spend the holidays with.

"That sounds really nice." Clementine smiled, sensing a loneliness in Violet, despite her words.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Violet asked, trying to be cheerful.

"Working." Clementine frowned for only a second before smirking once more, "Lots of lonely people come into the club on Christmas, wanting a little company. I have a special outfit and everything, it's a good day for tips. Everyone feels really generous on Christmas." She paused, looking at her empty glass. Something about Violet made it hard for the brunette to keep the mask on, "And... and I might go and visit my parents before work... It's been too long since I've seen them."

"I bet they'd love to see you." Violet grinned.

"Yeah... I bet they would." Clementine looked back at Violet, the genuine smile on the blonde's face melted her heart, "On Christmas, if you have time after lunch... to stop by the club... I-" No, Honey thought, no, she had sworn off relationships. People only wanted one thing from her as a stripper, Violet wasn't any different, she was just better at hiding it, "I should go now, thanks again for the help today."

"It was my pleasure." Violet said to Honey's back as she stood from the booth and hurriedly swayed away. The blonde hoped she hadn't said anything to offend her as she watched her quick retreat. She continued to work on her drink, her cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She didn't even need to look to know who it was. No one but Minerva ever contacted her on a Friday night.

Throwing back the last little bit of liquid, Violet stood and walked toward the exit, the taste of honey still on her lips.

~~~~~~~~~~

Violet lay back on the bed as the redhead took her chance, pouncing like a lion and hungrily nipping at her neck before breaking away to kiss her lips, a smile on her face as she did so.

But Violet, honestly, didn't pay much attention to her at all. You'd think with somebody on top of you, doing something like this, that you'd notice it. But she was miles away, in her own mind.

And this was something that Minerva picked up on.

She furrowed her eyebrows and sat up, looking over the blondes emotionless face. She leaned down, giving her exposed neck a long lick before kissing all along her jaw, hoping for some type of reaction, but she got next to nothing.

"The fuck's wrong with you?" She questioned, raising her eyebrow, she reached out to lightly pat her chest. "I know that you don't usually care, but you could at least try to look interested. If I wanted a blow up doll, I'd get one with tits." She sneered, squeezing her breasts before huffing.

"Violet."

"Hm?"

"What happened? Why are you acting like this?" She questioned, sitting by her on the bed rather than on her hips.

"Huh? Are you gonna tell me?"

"Nothing happened," Violet sighed, moving slightly and throwing her legs over the side of the bed. She gripped the edge of the mattress in her hands and bit at her bottom lip, staring at the floor in a trance.

"Minnie," She began.

"What?"

"I don't think I want to do this anymore." She said quietly, tears brimming in her eyes.

"It makes me... feel sick. I don't feel good when we do this. I don't feel good when you touch me, it... it doesn't feel right," she swiftly stood up, walking over to look out the window of her apartment down at the city below. She pondered, what was life like for all those other people outside? Was it better or worse than hers?

The redhead raised an eyebrow, moving slightly, unsure of what to say. She kept quiet for a moment before standing up and slowly walking towards the blonde.

"I feel sick when I see your name pop up on my phone. Like... like I have to become somebody else, someone that I'm not," Violet went on, "That's not how it started. That's not how it's supposed to be, you promised I could always be myself around you."

"You are yourself around me."

"No," Violet shook her head as her tears threatened to spill now, she chewed her bottom lip to stop the sobs before whispering.

"The real me isn't happy to see you. The real me doesn't want to be your last resort, I'm not your fucking sex toy-"

"Violet, shhhh," She whispered in a soft voice, wrapping her arms around the blonde. Violet could feel her bare skin against her own, the way her fingers caressed her ribcage, her stomach, her chest, everything as if she were trying to convince her that she cared.

"Be quiet. You don't have to speak anymore."

"I just want you to love me," Violet managed to get out, "Somebody. I just want somebody to look at me and... to... to say that I'm the first choice, to look at me and have me mean something to them but I'm nothing to no one." She continued to confide in the redhead before feeling her soft lips press against her neck, going from back to front and up to her jaw, forcing Violet to arch her back for her.

Then it clicked.

Like it always did.

In what world did Minerva actually care about Violet?

Violet's tears spilled from her eyes, drenching her skin as the girl continued to slowly manipulate her into somebody she wasn't, yet again. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

"Please don't kiss me. Please don't touch me. I really don't like it. I don't want to be with you. You make me feel sad. Everytime you leave, I just feel worse. I don't wanna feel worse anymore." Violet's voice was barely a whisper.

And then? Minerva let go.

And she took a step back.

And she spoke.

"So, you were just using me?" She said with a bitterness in her already cold and piercing voice.

Violet turned around, her eyes wide as she stared at the girl. She had never felt more confident, or sick, but she still spoke.

"That's rich coming from you."

"What do you mean?"

"I spend every single day alone," She said sharply, "Every single day. I wake up, go to work, come home, and have sex with you against my own will. I never wanted to do this! I didn't want to have a routine, to just be some quick fuck for you - I just wanted to mean something to someone and you made me believe that I meant something to you!"

"It's not my fault that you're a stupid bit-"

"Shut up!" Violet's hand came down hard on Minerva's face, almost knocking the wind out of the girl. As soon as it had happened, Violet covered her mouth with her hands and stepped back.

Minerva held her face, still looking over at the side, as if she couldn't believe what happened. But nobody was more shocked than Violet.

She gasped, trying to fight sobs, "M-Minnie, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I didn't mean to. Please don't leave me again."

The redhead didn't reply, not taking away her hand from her face as she grabbed her shirt from the floor and began to walk out of the room, obviously heading towards the door.

"No, please don't leave me!"

And the door slammed shut.

~~~~~~~~~~

Clementine sat in front of her small vanity mirror, leaning close and wiping her make-up off with a cloth as best she could. She didn't want to keep it on a second longer than necessary. The dressing room was crowded at the end of the night. All the girls crammed in there, putting their clothes back on, counting their tips.

"Clementine!" Molly put her hands on the brunette's shoulders from behind, "Come out with us tonight!" The other girls were pulling on their tight clothes, one of them was already passing around a bottle of rum, taking sips straight from the bottle.

"I don't think so..." Clementine said, just like she had said every work night for over a year now.

"That's what you always say, you used to go out with us..." Molly twirled one of Clementine's curls around her fingers, looking at her through the mirror before leaning closer and whispering in her ear,

"I bet Honey would want to go out with us."

Clementine stood and took the rum from one of the girl's hands as it was passed, taking a long drink before shoving it into Molly's hands, "Honey doesn't exist, not behind the scenes." Molly shook her head and walked away, knowing Clementine was too stubborn to convince if she already had her mind made up.

"Aw, Clem's too good to hang out with us anymore." one of the girls said from behind, they wrapped their arms around her middle and pulled her into their body. Clementine froze as she felt their bare chest pressing into her back and hands traveling up her partially clad torso, "We used to have fun together, didn't we?"

Clementine felt herself go almost red at the touch, trying her best not to show it. Despite being paid to basically touch up other people, she didn't have much experience being the one touched up.

"Are you blushing?" The girl whispered to her with a chuckle, warm breath tickling her ear, "Come on, Clem, let's go out and have fun. Let's do it just like the way me and you used to do it, just us. I know you'd like that," She trailed her hand across the brunette's chest now and Clementine was praying that none of the other girls were paying attention.

"N-no, thanks," She said, uncomfortable at the touch, "I'm tired." Clementine pushed her way hastily out of her arms and through the group, grabbing her hoodie, purse and hat on the way out, "You girls have fun, I'm going to the diner."

"That's your loss," The same girl winked at the brunette, twirling her hair with her finger. "The offer still stands for just me and you, though," She gave her one last wink before the brunette rushed out of the club, unable to handle anymore flirtatious glances, willing herself to not fall into old habits.

In her rush to leave, she walked out of the back door still wearing her short skirt and push up bra. She didn't have time to change into her after work clothes before everything started to get out of her comfort zone. Clementine fumbled to get her hoodie over her head as she shoved the door open, cool night air leaving goosebumps on her skin.

She popped her head out the top, curls springing out before the rest of her head followed, she saw a man standing outside and gasped in surprise at his proximity.

"Sorry if I scared you Honey." The man said as Clementine pulled her hat on over her curls, she immediately recognized the guy as Gabe. He'd been coming to the club a lot over the last year and he never got lap dances from any of the girls except for Honey. Clementine saw him as a good customer at first, he came often, he tipped well, he seemed polite enough. Lately though, lately he had been getting a little too comfortable, taking her hand when she walked by, asking for her phone number, getting jealous when she was with other customers and now, waiting outside the club for her to get off work.

"Um... hi?" Clementine said warily, trying to get her arms through her hoodie sleeves as quickly as possible so that she could get her hand into her pocket and find her pepper spray.

"I was hoping I could take you out for a drink." Gabe stepped closer, towering over Clementine, she was hoping the other girls would come out any second, but sometimes when they started drinking they would hang around the dressing room for hours.

"I'm sorry, I have somewhere I need to be, bye." Clementine said, finally getting her hand into her pocket and feeling the familiar tube of pepper spray right where it was supposed to be. She sighed in relief and started walking out of the parking lot and down the sidewalk.

"I can walk you!" Gabe said excitedly, jogging the few steps to catch up to her.

"No really, I'm fine." Clementine picked up her pace but Gabe matched it.

"As a gentleman I refuse to let a lady walk on these streets alone so late at night." Gabe shot her a smile, but it only served to unsettle Clementine more.

"I've done this before, I can handle it." Clementine stood up straight, but as she looked around she realized that leaving the strip club parking lot may have been a mistake. She would have been better off going back in the club than toward the diner. There was a stretch of sidewalk that was empty and dark before you reached a more bustling sector of the city. It had never seemed quite so creepy when she had walked it alone, but now that Gabe was beside her she couldn't help but notice all the places he could pull her off unnoticed if he desired.

"But why do it alone when I can protect you." Gabe draped his arm over her shoulders, "Other guys won't mess with you if you're with me."

Clementine pushed his arm off her shoulders, "Please don't touch me."

"You didn't seem to mind touching me earlier."

She stopped mid-step, a glare now on her face, she looked him in the eye, "You paid me for that, I didn't push myself on you."

"You looked like you enjoyed it as much as I did." Gabe said with a smirk as Clementine continued her walk, fists clenched at her side as her face grew hot with anger. Honey was a testament to how good she was at hiding her true feelings while she worked. Outside of the club she found it much harder to keep things hidden.

"I was doing my job." Clementine fumed, grateful when she saw the diner ahead, she quickened her pace, "This is where I stop, bye."

"A diner? This place looks a little run down." Gabe said as Clementine grabbed onto the handle, he looked around at the exterior of the building. Paint was peeling, the window pane even had a bullet hole in it, "I'll join you though."

"No, I'm sorry, I don't want to sound rude, but I just want to eat by myself and decompress." Clementine pulled the door open and turned to look at the boy, "It's been a really long day, I'm sure you understand." She walked in, chest tightening anxiously when Gabe followed her in.

"I'll pay for your food if that's what you're trying to get at." Gabe took out his wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill, holding it out to the brunette, "Here, you can take it before we even order."

"I don't want your money." Clementine didn't accept the bill he was holding out to her.

"You spent all night taking my money and now you don't want it? Make up your mind." Gabe shoved his wallet back in his pocket, "Where do you want to sit?"

Before Clementine could answer a man walked up to them. He had short gray hair, and was wearing a stained apron. He smiled when he saw Clementine and held his arms open. She smiled back in relief and quickly obliged, leaning into his chest, allowing him to pull her into a hug.

"Hey there," The man said looking at Gabe, "I'm Pete, are you here with our Honey tonight? She's never brought a young man here to meet us before."

"Yes sir." Gabe said with confidence, Pete smiled at him, but looking down at Clementine wiped the smile right off his face. She wasn't smiling back, she had a serious expression and shook her head slightly.

"Um, excuse me, I need to talk to Honey in private for a minute." Pete put an arm around her shoulders and steered her off to the side, "This guy bothering you?"

"He followed me from the club." Clementine told him in a whisper, she looked uncomfortable, having someone come to her safe place without her permission made her feel violated. The diner was more of a home than her actual home was, "I asked him to leave, more than once, but he won't."

"Have a seat, I'll have someone bring out your usual. You let Uncle Pete take care of everything." The man said, steering Clementine toward her usual seat in the corner.

"Thank you." Clementine whispered, watching gratefully as Pete stopped Gabe from following her over to the booth. She watched from her position of safety as Pete spoke to Gabe, and when Gabe threw his hands up in frustration, Pete grabbed him by the collar and unceremoniously threw him out of the diner. He was stronger than he looked for an older man.

Clementine watched the door, uncertain if Gabe would try to come back in, relieved when minutes passed without his reappearance. She finally allowed herself to relax when the server appeared with a stack of fluffy mint chocolate chip pancakes.

"Thank you so much." Clementine grinned, watching as the server set a warm container of syrup right next to the plate, just how she liked it. It was followed by a large glass of orange juice.

"You're welcome Hon." The server smiled back, squeezing her shoulder lightly before leaving the brunette to eat in peace.

It had been a long day, but a lot of good had come out of it. She had been rescued on the side of the road by a beautiful girl and got to talk to the same beautiful girl later at the club. She had been so shy and sweet, it almost restored Clementine's confidence in the human race. Almost.

Eating pancakes alone wasn't the worst thing that could happen, she could be eating pancakes with Gabe instead.

But that still didn't stop the tears from rolling down her face.

Maybe in another life, she didn't have to work so hard. Maybe things were just easy.

But does it really matter? Because, honestly... she'll never know that life. So why dwell?


	7. Alone on Christmas

Violet stomped her boots on the landing outside of Brody and Marlon's house, trying to kick off any dirt they had accumulated on the way from her apartment to their house. It was cold outside, colder than she had realized when she had decided to walk. Brody didn't live far away though, so she didn't have to suffer in the freezing weather for long.

She knocked, hearing a, "Come on in, Vi!" through the door, she pulled out her key and let herself in. She was immediately hit with warm air.

Violet hung her jacket on the back of the door, brushing her hair out of her eyes as she did so. The intoxicating smell of fresh food hit her nose and she couldn't wait any longer as she approached the center of the home.

"Hey, Brody!" She greeted the auburned haired girl who smiled brightly back and greeted her before pulling her in for a hug.

"Merry Christmas. I got your gift." Violet holds up the modestly sized box and sets it on the end table.

"Merry Christmas," She smiled, "You didn't have to do that, but thanks. Are you hungry?"

"I didn't have breakfast,"

"Who has breakfast on Christmas? Gotta save room for the good stuff." Brody laughed with a cheerful smile, pulling a delicious looking turkey out of the oven. Violet's mouth was salivating at the look and smell of it. She wasn't used to eating this grand. Her usual dinner consisted of macaroni and cheese, something from the freezer or fast food. This was heavenly.

"Looks like you've been working hard all morning, I really appreciate you having me over." Violet leaned on the counter, watching Brody work, "Can I help with anything?"

"No, just have to let the turkey rest for a while, carve it up and it's all ready to go!" Brody grabbed Violet's hand and pulled her to the nearby sofa. Both women sitting down.

"Where's Marlon?" Violet looked around the room, finding it devoid of other humans, an extravagant tree in the corner with white lights and fancy ornaments. 

"Sleepin' still. He was up on the computer late last night. Probably playing some silly game." Brody shrugged it off but Violet could tell that she was upset.

"That's not right, it was Christmas Eve and today's Christmas, he should've spent it with you." Violet glared, angry on her friend's behalf.

"He don't mean nothin' by it." Brody assured, "He'd spend time with me if I asked him to, but I don't wanna be a bother."

"A bother! You're his wife! Being with you should never be a bother." Violet fumed.

"I just don't want to take him away from what he wants to do, be one of those naggy wives, ya know?" 

"Brody, I don't think it's naggy to want to spend time with your husband on Christmas."

"I'm sure he'll be up real soon." Brody was starting to look visibly agitated, "Let's talk about somethin' else. How are you and Minnie doing?"

Violet squirmed in her seat. She had confided in Brody many times about her and Minerva's 'relationship', leaving out some very important details, mainly the unrequited feelings part. As far as Brody was concerned they were in a very healthy mutual, albeit private, relationship.

"That's... that's over. She didn't want to be public about our relationship, she wanted to keep it between her and I. I can't live like that anymore. I need someone that's going to be there for me, someone that's not ashamed to be seen around me." Saying it out loud made it feel more final, more real.

"I'm glad, she never seemed right for you. You need someone softer, kinder. Minnie's too... she's too rough." Brody said, trying to think of a polite way to explain Minerva's behavior.

"You're telling me." Violet grumbled under her breath. Thinking of not only the woman's personality but their sexual relationship.

"I hope you can find a girl that deserves you Vi." Brody patted her knee and got up from the couch, "Turkey should be ready to carve." 

Violet thought the same thing about Brody, that she could find a man that deserved her, but she wasn't about to say anything. Without asking, she started bringing dishes to the table, putting serving spoons in the bowls.

As soon as everything was out on the table, plates and silverware set out for the three of them, Marlon came out of the hallway that lead to his bedroom. He was still wearing pajamas as he scratched at his crotch and yawned his way into the room.

"You're up," Brody smiled, somewhat anxiously as he eyed around the apartment.

"Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," He replied before walking over and pulling out a seat to plop down on.

"How long have you been cooking?"

"I started when I got up."

"You're supposed to start the night before, get everything ready, then cook in the morning."

"I couldn't last night. You didn't want me to be in here while you were on the computer, remember?" She furrowed her eyebrows, stabbing her fork through a piece of turkey.

"Whatever. You should've worked your way around it." He said, taking his fork to his mouth. 

The three ate in silence for the next few minutes, with Brody very anxiously trying not to make noise and Violet trying not to interfere and throw Marlon from a balcony. Both dreaded his voice, didn't want it to come again, but alas, it did.

"Brody."

"Yeah?"

"You're not wearing your wedding ring," He observed, "Do you not love me anymore? Do you not trust me?"

She looked down at her vacant finger, studying it before remembering.

"I took it off so I wouldn't get it dirty or get stuck in anything when I was cooking."

"Liar."

"No, I swear, I did," Her eyebrows furrowed and she bit her lip, not wanting to cry in front of Violet. Brody dropped her fork and sighed, "Please not today, Marlon, please, just for today, can we just... be normal?"

"We haven't been normal since you decided not to love me!" He fumed, standing up fast and looming over the table. 

Brody was full on crying now, she balanced her elbows on the table and held her head with her hands, sobbing into her dinner that she'd worked so hard on.

"P-Please,"

"You did this to yourself, it's your fault!"

"Will you two please shut up?" Violet roared, managing to quiet both down, but Brody was still sobbing. The woman was biting at her lip and trying to compose herself, but she couldn't be helped. Violet reached out her hand, placing it over her friend's.

"Brody. It's okay."

"I'm sorry Vi, I... I just didn't want you to be alone on Christmas, but it feels like that would've been a better option," She smiled sympathetically at the blonde. Violet had been there for Brody through the toughest times in her life, and Brody had been there for Violet, but she looked so small in this moment that she just wished she could take her into her hands and run away with her to safety. 

He bit his tongue as he stared at the two.

"You're a whore, Brody." He said with venom in his voice, ultimately breaking the calm barrier Violet had managed to build for the girl. Brody began to hyperventilate and now Violet was sure she couldn't help her.

"Brody, don't listen to him," She told her, rubbing the back of her hand soothingly, "Look at me, it's just a panic attack, I won't let him hurt you,"

"No, no, no, no,"

"It's okay! It's okay! Look at me!" Violet continued to preach, not looking over as footsteps were heard and soon the door to the apartment slammed shut, leaving both women alone.

"This happens everytime! Every single time, I just want to be happy! I really just want to make him happy but he never, he's so difficult and, and,"

"Shhh, he's not here." Violet soothed, continuously massaging the back of her hand. "He won't hurt you. You need to get out of this, Brody, you can't live like this."

"I can't divorce him, Vi, he pays for everything I own... he insists on it. It's like his way of keeping me to him," She said, wiping her eyes and looking around at all the food. 

"I feel like I'm gonna get sick."

"You're just anxious. It's okay," Violet told her, but the girl stood up anyway and raced to the bathroom.

"Brody," She frowned, following after her. Brody had broken down in tears again on the way to the bathroom and slid down the length of the wall, covering her face with her arms.

"I can't fucking do this!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Violet looked at the picture of Honey as she walked down the sidewalk, she decided to take the long way home after the disaster of a lunch she just had at Brody's. The frigid air felt good against her face, chilling her nose, it made her feel alive. 

After a minute of staring into those sad honey eyes, she pocketed her phone with a sigh, looking down at the ground now instead. Cracks along the cement she followed with her eyes. Frost nipped at the grass that grew beside the sidewalk that she trod on. Curiously she found a few wild flowers growing in small clusters along the way. Violet was surprised that anything could grow in this cold. Maybe these flowers were like her. When life got cold and dreary, they continued to live. Despite the horrible circumstances, they persevered and were even more beautiful because of their harsh surroundings. Smiling to herself she bent over and plucked them out of the ground. She needed that reminder right now. That even though life was hard and cruel, she could be stronger. She could overcome, she could bloom.

She pulled her beanie snugly around her ears, continuing on her way she passed a graveyard. It was empty. Or appeared to be at first glance. Violet looked around at all the ornate gravestones, glancing curiously at last names as she walked. Something to take her mind off of Marlon and the anger she was feeling. 'Smith', 'Thompson', 'Fernsby', she smiled to herself whenever she found a funny one. As she continued to read names, she was surprised when her eyes met with a lone figure crouching between two graves. A familiar figure, but she wasn't wearing a hoodie this time, she was wearing a black dress, with a black coat that was as long as her dress, thick black leggings and boots to match. The only splash of color was her blue hat 

Violet slowed down, what was Clementine doing in a graveyard on Christmas? She wondered if she should say something... Maybe she didn't want any company, mourning was often a private thing, but sometimes it was nice to have a shoulder to cry on. Violet knew if someone close to her died, she would love nothing more than to have someone wrap her in a hug and just be there for her. They wouldn't even have to say anything... just be.

She looked around nervously as she walked toward the cemetery gate and through the entryway. The crunch of the blonde's boots on the nearly frozen ground alerted Clementine to her presence. She stood quickly and looked up, surprise apparent on her face when she saw Violet standing awkwardly in front of her.

"Violet?" Clementine sniffled, eyes wet and nose red from crying.

"I was walking home from my friend's and saw you out here... I recognized your hat... thought you might want some... moral support? I can go if you want to be alone." Violet waited for a response, feeling dumber as each second passed. She took a step backwards, prepared to make an exit, just as the brunette began to speak.

"Stay. Please." Clementine looked down at Violet's hands, "Did you bring flowers?" She smiled, wiping at her eyes.

"I found them on the way. They're just wild flowers, weeds really..." Violet dropped her hands to her sides, embarrassed. 

"I forgot to bring flowers, every gravestone in this cemetery is covered in a poinsettia and here I am, looking like the worst person ever, poinsettia-less." Clementine grumbled at herself. Incapable of even visiting her parents without screwing up. 

Violet held up the flowers with a shaky hand, "You can use these... I know it's silly, but-"

"Really? Thank you Violet." Clementine stepped forward and took the flowers from her grasp, hand lingering on Violet's for longer than necessary, "That means a lot." She knelt down between the graves and set several flowers in front of each one.

"I thought you were going to visit your parents today?" Violet asked hesitantly. She didn't know who these graves belonged to, but she had a hunch. She hoped she was wrong but the tight feeling in her chest told her she was not.

"I am." Clementine said, confirming Violet's fears. She stood up and gestured to the graves in turn, "Violet, this is Diana, my Mom and Ed, my Dad. Mom and Dad, this is Violet." Clementine gestured to Violet.

"Good to meet you..." Violet said awkwardly, stepping forward, scratching at the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry... that was weird." Clementine shook her head, Violet just noticed how red her eyes were, most likely from crying, "I don't know how to handle situations like this..."

"I think I do." Violet stepped forward, eliminating the space between them, she put her arms around the slightly shorter girl and pulled her body into a warm embrace. Clementine tensed against her hug for a moment before reciprocating, allowing her arms to snake around Violet's waist hugging her back.

They stood in the cold, in the middle of the graveyard, simply holding each other, sharing in one another's warmth. Violet didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything at all. She lost track of how many minutes passed before Clementine finally spoke up.

"They died a long time ago, I don't know why I still get emotional when I visit...I'm sorry." Clementine whispered against Violet's shoulder.

"Don't be sorry." Violet held her a little bit tighter.

"I kind of want to cry again..." Clementine admitted, nuzzling her face deeper into Violet's shoulder.

"Then go ahead and cry, sometimes you just need to cry." Violet said, rubbing her hands along her back comfortingly.

"Okay." Clementine sobbed out, crying into Violet's jacket, grateful she wasn't crying alone again. Violet let her cry, standing in silent support she waited for the tears to slow and finally stop completely, "I- thank you... I do think I needed that." She lifted her head, wiping at her eyes with her coat sleeve.

"Anytime." Violet offered her a smile.

Clementine returned it before frowning at the wet mess that was now Violet's shoulder, "I'm so sorry, it's freezing out here and now you're all wet..."

"I'm fine." Violet insisted, and she was. Standing there in the cold, her fingers and toes almost numb from it, jacket almost soaked through and she hadn't felt this fine in a long time. 

Clementine looked at her watch, "It's time to get ready for work... I have to go. Thank you again for being here. I really appreciate it..." They walked towards the exit, side by side. Clementine debated on whether or not she should ask what she was wanting to ask. Her desires got the best of her and she spoke up, "Do you... do you think you'll be coming by the club today?"

"I don't know..." Violet shrugged, glancing over at the brunette to read her reaction, "Do you want me to?"

Clementine took a deep breath, eyes on the dirt path in front of her, ".........Yes."

"Then I'll be there." Violet nodded, it felt good to know that Clementine wanted her around as much as Violet wanted to be around. They stopped in front of what Violet recognized as Clementine's car, "Did you get you ever find out where the coolant leak was coming from?" Violet asked as Clementine unlocked her door.

"No... I... I'm saving up. I owe someone, so, money's tight right now." Clementine said sheepishly.

"Here." Violet reached in her back pocket and pulled out her wallet, she took out a business card with her name, work number and address on it, "Come here during work hours and I can fix it for just the cost of parts."

"I can't do that." Clementine shook her head at the kind offer.

"Please, consider it a Christmas present. I'm sure it wouldn't even take me long." Violet nudged Clementine's hand holding the business card, pushing it towards her body.

"Okay..." Clementine said hesitantly, sliding the card into the front pocket of her coat, "Thank you so much Vi. You're an amazing person." She leaned up quickly and pecked Violet on the cheek before climbing in her car. Violet gaped after her, wide eyed and waving goofily as she drove away, that one tiny kiss sending butterflies into her stomach more than any touch from Minerva ever had.

~~~~~~~~~~

'Santa Baby' started playing, Violet cringed, grateful when she saw Honey not on the stage. She had never seen the club this full. Almost every table was filled. A buffet sat against the wall with several festive holiday foods. Sprigs of holy everywhere and garland were hung about the joint in a half-hearted attempt to look Christmassy.

She shrugged her jacket off and sat at the bar, ordering a drink as she looked around at so many women wearing red and green. She didn't see Honey though. Violet's drink was set in front of her and she acknowledged the bartender with a distracted "Thank you." She began taking small tentative sips as she waited for Honey to go onstage. 

It didn't take long, only a song later and Honey came strutting onto the stage. Dressed in a red and white candy cane striped dress. Violet barely had time to appreciate how beautiful the brunette was before the men began cat calling all around as she approached the pole. Violet's stomach churned. It was worse when it was so crowded. The men seemed to feed off of one another's energy, getting rowdier and louder than Violet had ever seen them before.

Violet wanted to get up and use the bathroom, anything to get away from hearing their lewd language and watching them slide money into various pieces of Clementine's ever dwindling attire. She couldn't though, already men were getting brave, hands lingering longer than necessary when they gave her money. Violet wanted, no, she needed to be there if something bad happened. With so many strippers to watch out for and so few bouncers, Violet wanted to keep an eye on her, so that she could help if something bad started to happen, she could help her immediately.

So Violet stayed, sick to her stomach she watched as Honey eventually left the stage. There was no shortage of laps that wanted Honey to fill them and fill them she did. Steadily she made her way amongst the crowd, men vying for her attention by holding up larger sums of money. Honey hadn't been kidding when she told Violet that it was a good day for tips. Seeing as everyone was fighting for a chance to get a taste of Honey it took much longer than usual for her to make her way back to Violet at the bar.

"You made it." Violet gave her a smile, wanting to be her reprieve from the lustful men she had been entertaining all night.

"Finally." Clementine sighed, waving at the bartender to bring her usual, "I can't stay long, I need to take advantage of the crowd and make as much money as I can."

"I understand." Violet watched as Honey sat next to her.

"I'm going to be so sore tomorrow." Clementine thanked the bartender and took her drink as it was sat down, drinking it faster than normal, "A lot of people don't realize what a hard work-out it is just giving lap dances, it's really hard on the quads."

"I'm sure." Violet raised her eyebrows, taking a sip as Clementine quickly threw back the rest of her drink. Violet expected her to make an excuse and leave but she didn't.

"One more, please." Clementine called out to the bartender, looking back to Violet, her heart beating quickly and not just from the exercise, "I want to ask you something, but... I don't know if I can do it without being a little more tipsy." Clementine was worried, really worried. Already she took her mask off too often when Violet was around, even at the club. Now she was considering giving up her self-imposed relationship hiatus for the blonde and she wasn't sure if she was brave enough to do it.

"You can ask me anything." Violet assured, taking Clementine's hands in her own, hoping that it was okay to do in front of everyone. Reassured when Clementine didn't pull away, "You don't need liquid courage to talk to me." Clementine was encouraged by the way Violet looked into her eyes instead of at her cleavage or various other parts. She looked at her like she was human, not some piece of meat.

"O-okay..." Clementine breathed in deeply, letting out her breath, she spoke in one long ramble, "Doyouwannagrabsomefoodwithmeafterwork?"

"No offense," Violet laughed, squeezing the brunette's hands, "but, what?"

"Do you wanna grab some food with me after work?" Clementine asked more slowly, not knowing what she'd do if Violet said 'no'.

"Yes." Violet said immediately, Clementine grinned at her eagerness, "I'm starving." She lied. She had eaten so much at Brody's in an attempt to hide the tension that surrounded them, she was about to burst, but there was no way she was missing this opportunity just because she was full.

"That's... great." Clementine picked up the drink that she just realized was on the counter, "I'll see you at close?"

"Looking forward to it." Violet grinned as Clementine finished her drink in one gulp.

"I need to get back to work but, so am I." Clementine attempted to put on her signature smirk but her smile just kept peaking through. Violet had accepted her date invitation... It had been a long time since Clementine had dated, but this time was going to be different, she just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~

After a long grueling night of work, made bearable by her hefty money sack and the prospect of meeting Violet for dinner, Clementine hurried to the dressing room. The other girls toasted to their successful Christmas night, but Clementine focused on changing. Pulling off her candy striped bikini top and bottom, slipping on her comfortable sports bra and boxers.

"How can you be so sexy in anything you wear?" One of the girls asked, legs crossed as she sat on the dressing table, eyeing Clementine.

"Honestly, I can see why they love you so much, babe."

"I'm not trying to be sexy. This is for comfort, I'm so chafed after tonight. Why do guys come here wearing such stiff pants?" Clementine groaned, pulling up the leg of her shorts all the way up so she could examine a particularly bad friction burn at the top of her thigh.

"Ouch, that looks bad." the girl reached out and touched around the spot tentatively, Clementine moved away pulling her shorts back down, "I have some aloe at my apartment real close by, you know where it is. You can come by and use some. I doubt any store is open right now."

"Thanks Zee, but I can't." Clementine said, pulling on her hoodie and jeans, "I'm going out with... someone..."

"On a date?" Zee asked, nudging Clementine, "That's a big step for you. You haven't been on a date in, how long has it been... a year?"

"Yeah..." Clementine hastily wiped at her makeup and pulled on her hat, "Just a little over, but she's special and I don't want to leave her waiting, bye."

"Bye!" Zee grinned, slapping Clementine's butt on the way out, earning a glare from the brunette as she hurried out the back door.

"Vi?" Clementine asked, the cold air hitting her in the face, but it only served to energize her. Excitement bubbled to the top as she looked around, several men were climbing into cars and leaving, but there was no Violet to be seen. Maybe she had waited inside since it was so cold? Clementine rushed into the front door. Mike held it open for her. He noticed the nervous energy as her eyes flitted around the now empty club.

"Are you looking for a blonde girl?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Clementine hurried to give him her full attention, turning to face him.

"She left about an hour ago, said something about having something more important to do." 

"Oh." Clementine's heart dropped, "Thank you." She walked back outside, the cold feeling much colder now that her excitement turned to heartache. She went back to the rear entrance in hopes of finding Violet waiting for her but no one was there. Maybe Violet had to do something before they went out, rushing out to accomplish the task before the club closed. Maybe she was just running late returning. Clementine leaned her back against the cinder block wall of the building, dread filling her chest. She wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to hold in the warmth, trying not to cry for the hundredth time today. She had thought that Violet was different...

The door opened and all the girls came out laughing, a group of them heading one way and only one passing by her. She hid herself, her glossy eyes, but the girl knew her all too well and could spot this from a mile away. She stopped in her tracks, fumbling with her keys and looked at her concerned.

"Hey, Hon, what's up? I thought you were going on a date," She frowned, dropping her hand to her waist with the key still in it.

"I was," She replied, feeling a cry nip at her nose. "I really didn't want to spend Christmas alone, Zee, I really didn't, I wanted to spend it with somebody, anybody, and now I'm all alone and I have to go home to my stupid little apartment and I can't do it, I can't," She inevitably broke down in tears, hiding her eyes with her palms as she sobbed.

The woman reached out her arms to the distraught brunette, rubbing her forearms up and down before pulling her in for a hug. "You're not spending Christmas alone, okay? I'm not gonna let you. Come on back to my place, I have some of those biscuits you like and Fish is at home just waiting to see you again," She stood back, draping an arm around her neck. "Nobody's leaving my Honey alone on Christmas, you hear me? We can go listen to Last Christmas and cry and eat for the rest of the night. How does that sound?"

Clementine nodded, wiping away some start tears as they slowly walked together.

Though this is what she did every Christmas, she couldn't help but wish she was spending it with Violet instead.

~~~~~~~

"So," The girl began, glass of wine in her hand, she passed another to the brunette who lay on her bed and sat down, propping her elbow against the pillow and staring at her.

"Had a rough day, hm?"

"You could say that," Clementine sounded nasally as she took a sip of the red liquid, "Tiresome night. I've been an emotional wreck all day, this is just the tip of the iceberg and my fucking, my thigh hurts so bad," She reached down to rub the soft skin over her jeans. 

"Put the aloe vera on, Clem!" She insisted, sitting up to look for the item. Clementine admired the way the girls hips swayed as she walked, the way she sauntered across the room. Zee was anything but fake - she was genuine to those she loved - and Clementine was grateful to be among those.

"Preston called today," She spoke, looking through her cupboards.

"He's getting married, but wanted to reassure me that I could keep this apartment. He even invited me to his wedding."

"Are you gonna go?"

"Maybe, I mean, I don't know. It wouldn't be awkward because I don't love him like that, but at the same time, it'd be strange to watch somebody I once married, get married, you know?"

"I guess," She nodded slyly from the bed. Zee turned on her heel, sauntering back towards her, she put both her hands on the soft, silky fabric, the aloe vera in one hand, and leaned closer to the brunette's face.

"Clementine."

"Yeah?"

"People don't tell you enough how beautiful you are."

"They pay me to tell me that I'm beautiful."

"They pay Honey. Honey is gorgeous, sexy, mysterious," She brushed her hair behind her ear, "But Clementine is strong and shy and weary and talented and has beautiful eyes that don't need smoky makeup to be enhanced. One day, you'll break out of this profession, and you'll be Clementine all the time, and I promise I'll cheer you on when you do." She sat back, opening the bottle and squirting a little out on her hands.

"You're gonna have to strip for me, hope that's okay."

"I'd rather strip for you than most of the weirdos at the club," She giggled, shifting to pull her pants down.

"You know, the other day, I got followed by a guy to the diner,"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It was pretty scary."

"Do you need more pepper spray?"

"No, I had i-"

"I can get you a gun if you'd feel safer,"

"I'm alright, Zee," She chuckled, watching anxiously as the girls palm came in contact with her thigh. She hissed, flinching back slightly.

"Fuck."

"I'm sorry." She furrowed her eyebrows, looking at her face concerned. She continued to palm her thigh, making sure it was rubbed in before wiping off her hands on her bedsheets.

"It should help in no time."

"Thanks."

"So, how do you wanna take your mind off of the day?" She smirked, shifting to lean over the girl, "Do you wanna talk or..." her hand tugged at her shirt, "Show and tell?"

"Talk," She replied, "I don't feel emotionally strong enough to have sex right now."

"Of course," She leaned off of her and smiled, opening her mouth, about to speak when another presence joined them on the bed. Zee rolled her eyes.

"Fishy, Clem's been here for a long time, but you only now noticed?" She questioned the cat who sniffed at the brunette cautiously. Zee reached out, petting his back as Clem scratched behind his ear.

"Her name's Violet." Clementine began, "I really like her. I think she's good for me."

"I know who she is, she's been at the club for weeks now. At first I thought she was like Gabe, but she's almost like... a break for you. During work. It must be nice to have somebody to sit down and just talk to for a couple of minutes," She said solemnly, stroking the cats back.

"You can always talk to me."

"And you, me," She smiled, "So. Tell me more about your girlfriend, I wanna make sure you're safe."


	8. Last night's regrets

_The fading sun set the scene for the brunette as she rushed into the club, tears staining her face and a large red mark. She didn't have to work today, it was her day off, but she needed a friend and didn't know where else she would find somebody willing to talk to her without paying. Plus, she didn't feel safe going to the diner or to her apartment anymore. She had to couldn't lose them as her safe spaces._

_She opened the door to the dressing room and just as she suspected - there was nearly nobody around._

_Nearly nobody._

_A girl, hunched over her bag, rummaging through it with her hair tied messily in a bun on the back of her head. Clementine held her cheek and felt tears run down her face, almost hissing as they contacted the redness of her face. She winced._

_"Z-Zee,"_

_The woman stood up straight, no longer occupied with her book, she looked over at the girl and narrowed her eyes for a moment to focus her vision before they became wide._

_"What happened?" She ran towards her, putting both hands on Clementine's shoulder when the brown eyed girl completely broke down, tears drenching her shirt and her mind being torn apart into a mold of pain and loss._

_Zee spun one of the chairs around and sat her down, cradling her head close to her chest as the brunette clung to it and cried as loud as she could, her chest rising and falling almost violently beneath her hoodie._

_"Let it out," Zee commanded, stroking her hair and rocking her slightly against her chest. It was all she could do. The other girls would come to the room every few minutes, but Zee would wave them off to someplace else. They weren't always respectful in the club, but the girls always stuck together, whether or not they liked each other. Clementine was the odd one out - and Zee was almost like the leader. Everybody respected Zee, and she'd never take it for granted. It gave her the power to protect the odd balls in the group._

_Once Clementine's sniffles died out, she held onto Zee's arm and stayed in her embrace for a few minutes before explaining what happened._

_"I had a fight with him."_

_"Hmm," She leaned her head against the girl's and stroked her cheek as she spoke_

_"And, I... we were close by. He was driving me here. He wanted me to get my stuff, you know, my... other outfits, I guess,"_

_"I know what you mean,"_

_She bit her lip tightly, "I didn't want to. I just wanted to go home. I'm really tired. I just wanted to sleep. He wanted a fucking lap dance. It's like I can't escape it. I come home from giving people lap dances all day, and he... he just expects more," she took a deep breath before continuing._

_"He slapped me. I got him to pull over, and he slapped me. He pulled my hair, and then he slapped me again. I got out of the car and he chased me. I didn't know where else to go, so I came here."_

_"Is he still looking for you?"_

_"I don't know," She bit her lip, "I don't wanna go back to my apartment because he's gonna be waiting for me and I don't wanna go to the diner because he's gonna be waiting for me. I'm scared to even be here because he's always just waiting for me. I'm really scared, Zee,"_

_"Shhhh, it's going to be okay," She promised, brushing through her hair._

_"You can come home with me, Clem. We'll go to the police if we need to. I'm not going to let him hurt you."_

_~~~~~~_

_Violet's hand trembled as she attempted to get the key into the lock, "Come on, come on." Violet growled. Why was the dumb door locked to begin with? Sophie knew she was coming, she was the one who had told her to come, "Finally!" She got the key in and turned it, shoving the door open more aggressively than usual, "BRODY!" Violet shouted the second she was inside._

_Sophie ran out of the hallway, "She's back here!"_

_"Where's Lou?" Violet asked as she followed Sophie down the hall._

_"He went after Marlon." Sophie said, fear shining through her voice, worried about what Louis might do if he found him._

_Violet looked unsure as she entered the room with Sophie. Brody sat on her bed, her eye totally busted and bloody and her face red from crying. Violet fell to her knees in front of her on the floor._

_"Brody, what... what'd he do?"_

_"He came back," She said quietly, looking to her friend with wide eyes. "M-My eye,"_

_"Holy shit... Sophie, did you call an ambulance? The police?"_

_"She told me not to call anyone, but I called both anyway," The redhead told her, biting at her nails anxiously as she watched Violet try to calm her friend down. "I need to find Lou-"_

_"Sophie, no, stay here. We all need to be here."_

_"But who knows what he'll-"_

_"Sophie!" Violet yelled, Brody flinched at the harsh tone and the blonde immediately lowered her voice again, "Louis is a big boy, he can take care of himself. He's not going to do anything stupid. If anyone can talk sense into Marlon, it's Louis."_

_"You're right, you're right." Sophie took in a deep calming breath._

_Violet got up from the ground and sat on the bed next to Brody, taking her hand into her own, stroking it with her thumb as they waited for the ambulance and the police to show up. The blonde attempted to get more information out of Brody but she just kept whispering, "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to," over and over again. Violet sang softly as Sophie paced nervously at the foot of the bed, calling Louis over and over again with no response._

_It wasn't much longer before both the police and the ambulance arrived at the same time. The police had Violet and Sophie leave the room as they questioned Brody and while the EMTs cleaned her wounds.Violet fumed outside of the door, angry at being pushed out, even angrier when the EMTs left without taking Brody with them._

_"Where are you going?" Violet demanded as they filed out of the house, "Why aren't you taking her with you?" She followed them into the darkness, street lamps lighting the yard in their perfect suburban neighborhood, "She needs medical attention!"_

_"Ma'am." One of the EMTs stopped and looked at her, "We fixed her up as best as we could here, but she's refusing to come with us and we can't force her."_

_"So you can't force her, but what about them?" Violet hurried towards the police officers now standing near their cars, "Why aren't you making Brody go to the hospital? Are you going after her husband at least?"_

_One of the nearby officers sighed heavily, "I'm very sorry Ms. Adlon, your friend refused to file a report, there's nothing we can do." Violet opened her mouth to keep arguing, but the woman held up a hand to stop her, "I want to help, this sort of thing happens all the time, talk to her. See if you can get her to change her mind."_

_"Yeah... okay, thank you." Violet ran her fingers through her hair and jogged back into the house, shutting and bolting the door behind her just in case Marlon decided to show back up. Violet was ready to yell, to argue, to do whatever was necessary to get Brody to stand up for herself. She marched to the woman's bedroom, stopping when she saw her bandaged face, her one uninjured eye was closed as she leaned against Sophie's shoulder._

_"She's sleeping." Sophie whispered, "It's been a long night. Whatever you're wanting to say to her can wait until morning."_

_"You're right." Violet huffed. She climbed onto the bed on the other side of Brody. The three of them falling asleep side by side._

~~~~~~~~

It was a night and day full of frustrations. Louis finally contacted Sophie, insisting he was safe, but he wouldn't tell her where he had been all night. 

Violet remembers the way Sophie's face lit up but also filled with fear as she saw his name pop up on her phone. They'd all been thinking the worst for so long. He eventually came home, offering little to no explanation, and Marlon wasn't with him.

They could only wait.

Brody refused to file a police report on Marlon, but she did agree to move in with Violet for the time being. Violet hated to leave her alone on Brody's first night in her apartment, but Sophie and Louis promised they would stay with her until Violet came back from the club. She had to talk to Clementine, explain in person why she had missed their date. Hoping that the bartender had given her the message she had left. 

Violet came through the front door, paying the entry fee to the bouncer just as she always did, she sat in the back as she always did, but as Honey came out, as she always did, she didn't stop by Violet's table. In fact, she hardly looked at the blonde at all. If Violet didn't know any better, she was actively avoiding her. 

She felt sick to her stomach, had Clementine not gotten the note she had left with the bartender? Had she read it and been pissed off anyway? Violet watched with bated breath as Clementine walked through the door labeled 'employees only', the door that Violet knew led backstage. Honey must be getting ready for her second set on stage, but Violet couldn't make it the rest of the night being ignored, with Clementine possibly thinking that Violet had just abandoned her without a care. 

Violet waited carefully for the bouncer to be distracted by something else and swiftly made her way to the backstage door, slipped inside and closed it behind her. She could hear women's voices just around the corner and headed in that direction, "Honey?" She called out hesitantly, getting no response she kept moving forward until she reached an open door that led to a room filled with the dancers that worked in the club, all in various stages of undress. Violet slapped a hand over her eyes and said, "Is Honey here? I need to talk to her, please."

"Violet?" Clementine said, shocked at the blonde's appearance, she stood from her stool where she had been applying makeup to her friction burn on her inner thigh, trying to hide it's visibility from her customers. She stood quickly and grabbed Violet by the arm, pulling her away from the dressing room, "What are you doing back here? You could get us both in trouble." she whispered harshly.

Violet moved her hand away from her eyes, finally getting a good look at the brunette, who was wearing a short tight skirt, a tube top and little else, "I'm sorry, listen Clem, did the bartender give you my note last night?"

Bewilderment was apparent on Clementine's face, she looked at Violet quizzically before taking her hand and leading her out of the backstage area and down another hallway to a private room, "What do you mean note?" Clementine asked as soon as she closed the door, "I didn't get any note."

"The friend I had Christmas lunch with, her husband hit her, he hit her hard. I got a call from a mutual friend that found her on the floor bleeding. Her husband had left but she was in bad shape. I had to go make sure she was alright. I wrote a note for you and left it with the bartender." Violet took Clementine's hands and looked her dead in the eye, "I wouldn't have abandoned you if it wasn't an emergency. I was so excited to go on a date with you and it was Christmas... I hated leaving you on Christmas."

Clementine looked back, harsh gaze melting under Violet's sincerity, "I didn't get a note."

"So you thought...? Did you think...?" Violet's heart broke at the look of dejection that crossed Clementine's face. Taking the brunette off guard, she pulled her into her chest in a firm but sweet hug, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Violet whispered.

"It's alright." Clementine leaned into Violet's sweater, soft and comforting against her cheek.

"No, it's not okay, you must have been so upset. I feel awful." Violet went to rub her hands on Clementine's back, finding it mostly naked she moved them awkwardly away, taking a step back. Clementine frowned at the loss of contact, having felt soothed by the warmth of her, "Let me make it up to you." Clementine quirked her head curiously, "Let me take you out on a date. A real date, not just grabbing food after work, let me take you someplace nice. Please, give me another chance."

"Okay... that... sounds wonderful." Clementine tried to push her hopes down but they were already soaring through the roof. She knew she should check with the bartender first to see if she was lying, but she wanted to believe in her so bad it hurt.

"Great." Violet let out a sigh of relief, "I'll uh... see you out there?"

"Of course... it's kinda my job to go out there." Clementine giggled opening the door and leading the way out.

"Right, I'll be out there, waiting to see you..." Violet said awkwardly, scratching at the back of her neck, "I mean... not see you see you, but talk to you... if you have a chance... or whatever..."

"Yes, Vi. I'll 'see you'." Clementine laughed again, leaving Violet out by the tables as she headed behind the 'employee' door. The blonde filled with such immense relief at their misunderstanding that she almost floated back to her table instead of walked. 

Violet sat anxiously now, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone that wasn't Clementine.

She knew she had to be home soon - she knew that Brody needed her, but there was one thing that just couldn't wait. She had to get her number to Clementine. To the girl she liked, to the girl she... 

It took a while, but it seemed as though Clementine didn't waste time in talking to Violet. She made her rounds and then escaped over to her table, sitting down fast with a smile on her face as if she couldn't wait to talk to her.

Clementine prepped both elbows on the table and rested her chin on her palms, looking at the blonde with a grin.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I'm really happy that you're here."

Violet felt a pinkness spread across her face and she swallowed before answering, "I'm glad that I'm here, too, with you..." She muttered before leaning closer across the table. This caught Clementine off guard.

"Listen. I'm gonna ask you something, you're gonna think I'm weird, you're probably gonna run away from me, but I'm asking anyway,"

"Oh-"

"Can I..." Violet bit her lip, "Have your number, maybe? I, just, I need to be able, to... to contact you-"

Clementine rolled her eyes and chuckled before reaching into her bra and feeling around for a moment. Violet tried her best not to watch, the redness was filling her cheeks now as the brunette pulled her hand out and placed a small piece of white fabric on the table in front of her.

"I came prepared for this." She stated before reaching into the band holding her stocking to her underwear and pulling out what looked to be lipstick. She popped off the lid and sure enough, it was lipstick, as red as the blush on Violet's cheeks. Clementine giggled before she began to scribble something on the fabric.

"Violet, I trust you," she said with a hint of nervousness in her voice when she finished writing. She sat back and looked over her number before sliding it to the blonde.

"But if you give this to anyone else-"

"I wouldn't dare." Violet took it in her hands, not looking at it before she slid it into her pocket. "Thank you, Clem. Thanks for not hating me for... for standing you up."

"I could never hate a hero." She said as she stood up and leaned over the table. 

Violet looked nervous, her breathing began to get heavier. "I'm not the hero."

"You are in my eyes," She leaned closer, breath on the blonde's skin as her lips made contact with her neck, sending butterflies throughout her body for the three seconds that it lasted.

"And aren't my eyes the only ones that matter?"

Ho-ly fuuuuuuck.

~~~~~~~~

Violet opened the door to her apartment with a smile on her face, desperately trying to crush it before she had to face her friends. She could still smell the perfume of the brunette on the collar of her shirt, and could still feel the softness of her lips against her neck if she arched it back farther enough.

Violet knew it wasn't right to think this way, but... what if they had been in the private room when Clementine had kissed her neck?

She felt blush creeping across her face and setting in like a seed as she made it inside, being met with her television on and two faces turning to look at her. She smiled at them awkwardly, turning on one of the lamps.

"Hey guys,"

"Hey," Sophie replied with a tired smile, "She's asleep."

"Is she okay?"

"I went to check on her. I think she was having a nightmare. She's been sleeping since you left, but she woke up for a while and tried to have a shower. Her eye's still pretty badly messed up and she wouldn't accept any help with showering despite needing it, so she's left it for a while. She reluctantly let me change her bandages, but kept insisting she felt fine." Sophie sighed before leaning her head against Louis's shoulder as he stared at the TV absentmindedly.

"I think she's hiding something."

"More bruises, most likely." Her husband chimed in unenthusiastically. "I think we all know that wasn't the first time Brody's been attacked. You remember when she came back from their honeymoon? She broke her arm from falling... Sure... they've been bad since the start."

Violet, who was in the middle of pouring some noodles into the pot on the stove, chimed in.

"Louis... keep it down, please. The walls here are thin, I don't want her to think we're talking bad about her. They haven't been bad since the start, Marlon has."

"We should never have let her marry him..." Sophie said shamefully. "We should've talked her out of it years ago... I don't know how he didn't kill her. She could've died and none of us would've noticed for days because she never reaches out to talk to us."

"I doubt she was allowed to talk to us."

"Poor, poor Brody... to think about her, laying there... on the floor. I wonder how many times it's happened that way before. I wonder if she ever tried to reach out to us, and if we just didn't notice. I should've noticed... I feel so bad, I need to apologise," The redhead expressed as Violet sat down beside her with two bowls of noodles in hand. Violet passed Sophie one bowl before digging into the other.

"It's not your fault, Soph. She's safe now. Know for a fact, I won't let him near her." Violet said as she rested her feet on the coffee table and began to eat the noodles with her fingers.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the blonde.

"Where's my bowl of noodles?"

"You don't get one."

"Why?"

"Gays only."

"Sophie's straight."

"G-a-ys. Only." Violet looked at him with narrowed eyes as she took the bowl to her lips and began to slurp down the noodles loudly.

"That's gross," Louis commented with a disgusted expression on his face as the blonde continued what she was doing. Once Violet finished, she wiped her mouth and smiled widely at Louis's disgusted face.

Sophie looked down at her own bowl, then to her husband, before taking the bowl to her lips and doing the exact same thing as Violet - except louder.

Sophie finished and both her and Violet laughed at what had just occured, before a smile appeared on Louis's face, too.

"That's my girl!" He said proudly.

Violet rolled her eyes at his comment before everybody was pulled out of their thoughts by a timid voice coming from the door of Violet's room.

"Sorry Brody, did we wake you?" Sophie asked her with a genuine smile on her face.

Brody shook her head and bit at her bruised lip.

"No. I was awake anyway... what are you guys watching?"

"Um, nothing much, we're kind of just joking around," Louis replied to the girl. Brody nodded and looked almost shy around her friends, before Violet spoke for her.

"Do you wanna come joke around with us? I made some noodles. You can have them if you want, they're in the pot," Violet offered.

"I'm alright, there's not enough room for me on the sofa anywa-"

Louis stood up swiftly, offering a space for the girl now. He made his way over to sit in front of his wife's legs on the floor before smiling as he looked Brody directly in the eyes.

"What was that about not having anywhere to sit?"

Brody looked sheepish, but nevertheless agreed to walk over and take a seat beside Sophie. Violet got up as soon as Brody got down and rushed to drape a blanket around her friends shoulders. 

"There."

"Thanks..." She smiled before nervously moving closer to the redhead and resting her head on her shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"As long as you're safe, I don't mind what you do," Sophie smiled at her before one by one, everybody lay together, and one by one, everybody fell asleep together on the sofa as they did the night before.

Except Louis.

No, Louis stayed up to make sure all the girls had a blanket wrapped around them. Louis stayed up to make sure all fire hazards were taken care of and the TV was off.

But most of all? Louis stayed up so he could eat all of Violet's noodles and she couldn't get mad at him for it.

And Louis got what he deserved.


	9. Mistakes are made with love

Here she was, yet again. Violet laid on her bed, it was a Tuesday night, Brody was sleeping on the couch, had been for a week now. Marlon still hadn’t come home but Brody said she felt safer sleeping at Violet’s place for now. The auburn haired girl was staying strong for now but Violet had a feeling she would crack soon. She could over hear them talking on the phone earlier that night, Violet knew what grovelling sounded like, and Marlon was great at it by now. He was just saying the same things he had said before but Violet knew that some people never changed.

Her sleep schedule was so out of sorts from spending her weekends at the club, that she now found it hard to fall asleep before midnight during the week. Luckily she knew someone else that was always awake late at night too. Violet pulled out her phone and looked at the picture of Honey, the picture that was now attached to a phone number.

Vi: Hey Clem, looking forward to our date tomorrow night <3

Violet texted her. Immediately regretting sending the heart. Hoping she wasn’t coming on too strong. They had scheduled their date for a Wednesday night, which may seem odd to most people, but since Clementine worked weekends, it was one of the most convenient times for her to go out. Violet didn’t care when they went out anyway, she just wanted to spend some real time getting to know the honey-eyed girl.

Clem: So am I :)

Violet stared at the return message. Excited at how quickly she had responded. Even more encouraged when she immediately got a second text.

Clem: Do you have anything planned? Just wondering how I should dress.

Vi: I have it all planned out, dress casual

Vi: really casual

Clem: PJs then?

Violet chuckled to herself, rolling over to her side, she hugged her blanket tighter around her shoulders.

Vi: Maybe a little dressier than that?

Clem: My ball gown?

Violet smiled, kind of wanting to see Clementine show up in a ball gown just for laughs.

Vi: How about something in between pjs and a ball gown?

Clem: t-shirt and jeans it is.

Vi: Perfect.

Violet stared at her screen for a minute, trying to think of something to prolong the conversation, anything to keep Clementine’s attention on her for just a while longer. 

Vi: Sorry if I woke you up, I know it’s late.

Clem: You didn’t wake me, I can’t sleep until 4am, even when I’m not working. 

Clem: I’m surprised you’re still up though

Vi: I’ve been finding it hard to sleep at night lately too

Clem: Do you want to talk?

Clem: I’m sure your busy, nevermind, that was dumb

Clem: Forget I said anything

Violet’s heart beat heavily in her chest and before she could think of all the reasons she shouldn’t, she was pressing the call button next to Honey’s picture and the phone was ringing. The brunette wasted no time answering, sounding apologetic, “Hey, you didn’t really have to call me, I’m sorry. It was a selfish idea. I’m sure you were about to sleep, I know you’re working tomorrow... Sometimes I just get really lonely after midnight, Zee’s the only person I have to talk to and she’s working tonight.”

“Who’s Zee?” Violet found herself asking, jealous tinge to her voice as she did.

“A friend from work, she’s always looks out for me at the club.” Clementine answered.

“Okay.” Violet let out a breath of relief. An awkward silence hung between them for a moment before Clementine spoke up.

“It’s after midnight, what are you wearing right now Violet?” Clementine asked in her sultry Honey voice.

Violet’s face burned red as she looked at herself beneath the covers, “A-a band t-shirt and… and that’s it really…”

“Nothing else?” Clementine purred into the phone, sending tingles up Violet’s spine.

“No, I mean, yes. I have underwear on of course… but no bra…” Violet answered, starting to feel warm. "And uh, socks, but they're not that sexy,"

“What color?” 

“My t-shirt’s black, socks are white.” Violet said.

“Not your shirt.” Clementine corrected her in a sultry voice, "You know what I mean…"

Violet kicked her blankets off slightly, it was definitely getting hot, she thought as she peeked beneath the covers, feeling somewhat uncomfortably but also curious. She'd never been good at flirting, maybe now was her chance to change that?

Nah. She's still failing.

"Um… my underwear? Uh… they’re black as well…"

“I bet you look sexy in black. The contrast against your pale, delicate skin… I’m picturing it in my mind right now.”

Violet swallowed hard, “You… you are?”

“Mhmm,” Clementine spoke softly into the receiver, and yet every syllable was clear, “do you want to know what I’m wearing?”

“I-uh…” Violet’s pulse raced. Part of her screamed to say ‘yes’ but another part was running around in circles still trying to figure out what was going on.

Clementine could hear Violet’s heavy breathing on the other end of the line, the realization of what she was doing came crashing down on her and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment, “Vi… I’m so sorry, sometimes when I get nervous Honey just takes over and… and I’m really nervous about this date…” A tense giggle escaped her lips.

Violet let out a chuckle of relief, “Don’t be nervous. I promise I’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Which is with the utmost respect… In case you weren’t sure.”

“What time are you going to pick me up tomorrow?” Clementine asked, a note of excitement in her voice.

“How’s seven?” Violet asked before she remembered that's what time Clementine started stripping when it was a work night. Violet hoped she didn't think that she was coming at seven expecting Honey to be waiting for her instead of Clementine.

“That’s perfect.” Violet could hear Clementine’s smile through the phone and it washed all of her worries away, “How was work?”

“It was good, Marlon was there today…” Violet said, she had told Clementine all about Marlon and Brody during their talks as the club and constant text messages, “Told me that he ‘was a new man’ and he ‘changed his ways’.”

“That scumbag finally showed his face again huh? What’d you say to him?” Clementine got fired up, she was not a fan of Marlon.

“I asked him where he’d been hiding out. He told me that Louis put him up in an apartment but he wouldn’t say where.”

“Louis?! Isn’t that your friend? I thought you trusted him.” Clementine fumed, one hand gripped onto the pole in her living room while the other held onto her phone. She spun around slowly, unconsciously.

“I do trust him, but he and Marlon have been friends for longer than he and I have… Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought.” Violet shifted in bed, looking up at the ceiling now.

“You can’t trust men.” Clementine declared, “If the strip club business has taught me anything, it’s that.”

“You might be right…” Violet sighed, but in her heart she knew that Louis would never do anything to hurt Brody, even if he was trying to protect Marlon, “Let’s talk about something else…” Violet changed the conversation to lighter things, staying up to talk and laugh, much later than she intended.

~~~~~~~~

Violet hurried home from work, practically running up to her apartment to get ready for her date. She hadn’t been this excited for something in a long time, “Wow Brody.” Violet looked around at her spotless apartment as soon as she entered, “I’ve never seen my place this clean. You know you don’t have to do this right?”

"You've been lettin' me stay here for free. It's the least I can do." Brody walked up to Violet and wiped a greasy smear from her cheek, “You need to shower, got a date tonight right?”

“I do!” Violet exclaimed, feeling giddy.

“I ironed you some clothes and laid them out on your bed for you.”

“Thanks Brody, you’re the best. I’m sorry I’m leaving you alone again tonight. I’ll call and order a pizza before I leave.” Violet pulled her hair down from the ponytail she commonly wore at work.

“Actually… I was gonna go out for dinner tonight…” Brody said timidly, Violet stopped on her way to her bedroom and turned to face Brody.

“With?” Violet asked, already knowing the answer.

She let out a deep breath and spoke with anxiety lacing her voice, “Marlon called and said he wanted to take me out to dinner. Show me he’s changed. He's better, he… he cried on the phone, so I agreed.” Brody braced herself for what she knew Violet’s reaction would be.

“Changed?!” Violet threw her hands in the air, “Marlon’s lost his chances Brody, you’ve already given him too many! The only reason he wants you back is so that you can clean the house for him, set out his clothes and make his dinner!!” Brody’s lip began to tremble, tears welled up in her eyes and her breathing became erratic. 

“No… I’m sorry Brody… I didn’t mean it to sound like that… you’re an amazing person, but Marlon doesn’t appreciate how pretty you are, he doesn’t give you the love you deserve. He’s a taker and you can do so much better. You guys need to separate for good, I'm talking to you as a friend, Brody… he's not good for you," Violet wrapped her arms around the auburn haired girl, trying to push back the panic before it could take hold, “Can you wait to meet up with him until I can go with you at least?”

Brody leaned her head on Violet’s, trying to take slow, even breaths, “Um… yeah… okay… I’ll text Marlon and tell him I’ll have to do it another night… I’m just afraid he’ll… he’ll get angry….”

“If he gets angry then it’s just proof that he hasn’t changed at all and you have no reason to go out with him. And even so, angry or not, he can't and won't hurt you. I promise you," Violet rubbed her hands up and down Brody’s back, feeling her trembles even out into steady breaths, “You haven’t told him where you’re staying have you?”

“No, but he’s asked.” Brody admitted in a trembling tone, "Sorry, Vi, I just, he's… he's got me wrapped round his finger…"

“Brody, it," Violet sighed, "It's bad things, this is what it does to you. You don't feel in control, but you are in control, when you're away from him, so keep it that way, alright?” Violet pulled back and gave Brody a serious look. 

“I won’t tell ‘im where I’m stayin’, I promise.” Brody smiled and pushed Violet away, “Now go, get ready, you can’t be late for your date.”

Violet’s eyes darted to the microwave to check the time, “6:30?? I have to leave in ten minutes!” Violet ran down the hall, into her bedroom, shutting the door before opening it again quickly, “You can call me when I’m out if you need me alright? Even if I’m on a date.”

“I’m gonna be fine on my own, get ready!” Brody threw a pillow from the couch at Violet’s door, she closed it just in time and started getting ready.

~~~~~~~~

Clementine looked at her watch, it was about five til seven, Violet would be here any minute with her deep green eyes and soft blonde hair. She already knew she was going to have a hard time not running her fingers through it. What if Violet took her to the movies? Clementine clutched onto the pole in front of her, how was she going to keep her hands to herself then?

She wanted to take things slow. She didn’t want to give Violet the impression that she was ‘easy’, but she hadn’t been this attracted to someone in a long time. It felt good… it felt right… but Clementine’s feelings weren’t always the most accurate. As good as everything felt she knew she needed to ease into this. It was only a first date after all.

A tentative knock came at the door. Clementine wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans as she went to answer it. Standing there in a fitted v-neck black t-shirt and jeans was Violet.

“You wore black.” Clementine giggled, tucking a curl behind her ear. She left the hat behind for the date, but her hair was still pulled back in pigtails.

“Someone told me that it would look good against my ‘pale and delicate skin’.” Violet smirked at Clementine’s blush.

“Stop.” Clementine nudged Violet playfully, “I don’t want to talk about that, I’m so embarrassed.” Clementine held a hand over her face, wishing she had her hat on to hide her blush.

“But I never got to find out what you were wearing.” Violet winked.

Clementine got even redder, stepping forward, trying to shut the door behind her before Violet could see the stripper pole behind her and get the wrong idea, maybe Violet would think that she did ‘private shows.’ Truthfully, Clementine did have a history of that sort of thing, but not one she wanted to air out. Especially not on a first date.

“I’m sorry about all that.” Clementine frowned, grabbing a jacket from a hook by the door.

“No, it’s okay, I’m sorry! I was just trying to joke with you, ready to go?” Violet held out her elbow to Clementine to take and led her to her car after Clementine stealthily closed and locked her door without Violet seeing inside.

“I’m ready to go… where again?” Clementine raised an eyebrow at Violet.

“It’s a surprise. I’m afraid you might think it’s childish so I’m not telling you until we get there.” Violet opened the door for Clementine and then got into the car herself.

“If I guess it will you tell me if I’m right?” Clementine asked playfully hugging onto the seat belt to keep herself from hugging onto Violet’s arm.

“Deal. You guess it, I’ll tell you if you’re right.” Violet smiled as she drove down the street and to her destination, eyes flitting to the side so she could admire the look of concentration on Clementine’s face.

“You said it’s childish so… roller skating?” Clementine asked, forehead scrunched as she thought.

“Not roller skating, but good guess.” 

“That’s too bad… if you think I’m sexy on a pole, you should see me in a pair of skates.” Clementine waited for Violet’s eyes to glance over before she winked at the now flustered blonde, “Not roller skating, how about an arcade?”

“Hey now, arcades are not childish.” Violet said, sounding offended.

Clementine giggled lightly, “You’re the one who used the word childish. I would totally be down for kicking your butt at some Tekken. I would Ling Xiaoyu your ass all over the arena.”

“As much as I’d like to take you up on that challenge, that’s not where we’re going.” Violet smiled as she made a turn down a wooded road, “Almost there, any more guesses?”

“Laser tag? Go karts? Paintball? Water park?” Clementine rifled off quickly.

“No, no, no and really? A water park in the Winter?” Violet laughed.

“It could be an indoor water park.” Clementine shrugged.

“We don’t have swimsuits.” Violet pointed out.

“A nude water park?” Clementine laughed, admiring the red on Violet’s cheeks as she slowed down and turned into the parking lot. The brunette looked around for a sign, spotting one on the building they stopped in front of, “‘Paradise Golf’… mini-golf?”

“Mini-golf.” Violet confirmed putting the car in park before the two exited the vehicle. 

“Wow, I haven’t played mini-golf since I was like… seven…” Clementine looked around at the outdoor mini-golf course, full of colorful waterfalls and fake caves. She shivered slightly, trying to hide it from Violet, not wanting her to think her date was a failure. She would have brought a bigger coat if she had known they were going to be outside, but she had endured far worse than cold weather before.

“Childish right?” Violet asked, looking at her feet as they walked toward the entrance, hands jammed in her pockets. Clementine could tell that she was uncertain on her choice of date, feeling self-conscious about it now that they had arrived.

“You’re never too old for mini-golf. I used to be really good at this. I’m sorry I’m going to have to beat you so bad on our first date Vi, I hope you can forgive me.” Clementine turned to grin confidently at the green eyed girl.

“It’s on.” Violet grinned back, equally as confident, relieved at her date’s reaction. She held open the door for Clementine to enter. 

The concern Clementine had held about the cool weather immediately dissipated as soon as she walked inside. It was dark with black lights everywhere. Neon bumpers lined every hole with paintings of palm trees glowing on the walls. Clementine looked at Violet and chuckled as she pulled her to the side.

“Vi… did you wear a white bra under your black shirt?” She asked, eyeing the blonde’s chest.

“What? Yeah… W-why?” Violet asked, looking down to answer her own question. She swore at herself when she saw her white bra glowing through her black t-shirt, “But! I didn’t wear a white t-shirt!!”

“No, you wore a white bra underneath a thin black t-shirt. As much as I would enjoy the show while we played...” Clementine chuckled, pulling off her light jacket, she handed it to Violet, “here, wear this.”

“Thanks.” Violet sighed, slipping on the jacket and zipping it up, red tinge still on her cheeks, visible even in the darkness, “Let’s play shall we?”

Clementine nodded, smile still tugging at the corner of her lips as they approached the counter. Violet paid and they each grabbed a club. As Violet was reaching for a purple golf ball, Clementine snatched it just before she could grab onto it.

“Hey!” Violet pouted.

“Sorry Vi, purple’s my favorite color.” Clementine grinned, holding the ball triumphantly in her hand.

“But it’s my name!” Violet argued, “I always get the purple ball.”

“Maybe it’s time you started choosing a different color.” Clementine picked an orange ball from the bucket and placed it in Violet’s hand, “Clementine’s ripen in the Winter after all, and you look like you have a sweet tooth.” Violet’s jaw dropped as Clementine stuck a tiny pencil and score sheet in her jeans pocket and started walking toward the first hole, “I’ll let you go first, sometimes going second is more fun.”

Violet swallowed hard as she caught up and set her ball on the ground at the starting area of the first hole, “We should take turns. It’s not really fair if I have to go first every time.” She said referring to the game.

“You’re right, we can take turns all night long.” Clementine walked up behind Violet, not touching, but so close Violet could feel her body heat radiating on her as she took her first swing. The ball bounced wildly off the sides, stopping not far from the hole. Violet grumbled as she walked to her ball and tapped it, barely missing again. She growled in frustration before finally sinking it on her third shot, “Three tries isn’t bad Vi, I like a girl that doesn’t give up.”

“Hm.” Violet grumbled, “Your turn.” She watched as Clementine set her ball on the ground. Her movements just as fluid and enticing as when she worked the pole at the club. Violet tried not to stare, but found it almost impossible to focus on anything else, everything she did was awkward and clumsy. She couldn’t help but admire the smoothness with which Clementine moved, even doing the most simple things. 

Clementine held her club firmly but gently, swinging softly, the ball made its way straight down the lane, falling into the hole in a single shot, “What?” Violet gaped, “How?! Are you sure you haven’t played this recently?”

“I was just giving the ball what it wanted… I’m pretty good at that…” Clementine said, sounding sadder than she intended as she retrieved her ball and marked their scores on the sheet.

Violet stopped in front of the next hole, Clementine beside her. The brunette started to put her ball on the ground but Violet placed a hand on her shoulder, making her freeze when she squeezed lightly, “You don’t have to be that way with me you know? Always flirting and on edge. You can relax, be yourself.”

“I want to…” Clementine shuffled her feet nervously, “Sometimes I can’t remember how… I’ve been doing this job for so long, I’m afraid I’m becoming my job… I know Honey isn’t who I am, but sometimes it’s just easier to be her than whatever it is I am… I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Maybe I’m not Clementine, maybe I’m just Honey now…”

“That’s not true. I didn’t start watching you because of your body. I started watching you because you danced with such passion, because when you talked to me at the club I could see Clementine when I looked into your eyes and I knew that was a girl that I wanted to get to know.” Violet pulled her into a hug, holding on firmly until Clementine hugged back, club still held awkwardly in her hand.

“Thank you Violet.” Clementine held on even after Violet started to let go, “For believing that I’m more than my job.”

“Of course, now your turn to go first.” Violet stepped to the side and smiled as Clementine let go and set down her ball.

“Just a warning, Honey would have let you win, but Clementine, she’s very competitive.” Clementine concentrated hard on her grip, checking her stance before she swung her club. The ball rolled down the lane, bounced around the corner and rolled to a stop just in front of the hole.

“Game on.” Violet grinned, watching as Clementine went on to tap her ball into the hole.

~~~~~~~

“Victory Violet!” Violet held her club in the air after she tallied the score card.

“No way!” Clementine snatched the card from her hand and did the math in her head, finding Violet correct, she had indeed won, by one stroke, “Rrrr, rematch, I demand a rematch!”

“Maybe later.” Violet laughed as she returned their clubs to the counter and walked over to the concession stand, Clementine grumpily following.

“It’s because you sneezed on that one hole and made me mess up.” Clementine crossed her arms over her chest.

“Don’t be a sore loser, you lost, fair and square.” Violet grinned at the brunette, she was cute, even when grumpy, “I’m buying anyway, get whatever you want.”

Clementine looked over the menu hanging on the wall behind the counter, nothing on the menu was on her diet. She had to be strict about what she ate as a stripper, keeping her body in good shape was paramount, “What are you getting?” She asked, shifting her gaze to the blonde next to her.

“A hot dog and fries… and an ice cream cone.” Violet said, eyes still focused on the menu above them.

“I’ll have the same.” Clementine found herself saying, against her better judgement. She wanted to be herself in every aspect tonight and Clementine didn’t want to eat a side salad.

They sat down with their food once they got it, “Vi, thank you for encouraging me to be myself… that’s not what most people want to see.”

“From the second I saw you up on stage at Louis’s bachelor party, it’s all I ever wanted.” Violet admitted, Clementine reddened at the confession.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight too. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” 

“Even though you lost?” Violet laughed at how quickly Clementine’s face scrunched into a grumpy expression, just as she was taking a lick of her ice cream cone. It caused Violet to laugh even more as Clementine continued to lick at her cone, crinkled eyebrows and frowning lips. Grumpiness and ice cream cones don't usually mix.

“Thanks for reminding me.” Clementine tried to hold her pout but Violet’s laughter was infectious and she couldn’t help but laugh along. They finished eating, talking as easily as old friends as they did. 

It wasn’t long before Violet was walking Clementine to the front of her apartment and bidding her goodnight, “Thanks for coming out with me, I had a great time.” Violet said, “Oh, your jacket!” She unzipped it and handed it back, “Thanks for letting me wear it.”

“You’re welcome, thank you for the date.” Clementine hugged the jacket to her chest. The night had been as perfect she had imagined it. Violet had been sweet and kind and respectful. She hadn’t asked for a lap dance or tried to tip her or requested a private show. It had been a normal date, with friendly banter and engaging conversations. 

And Clementine was afraid. 

Was this what a healthy relationship looked like? When Violet leaned in for a goodnight kiss, Clementine found herself pushing back against her door to avoid it.

"I - I'm sorry, Clem, I just… Sorry, sorry,"

"I'm," The brunette stumbled over her words, unsure of how to word it correctly, "I still wanna talk to you, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship just yet. Not ready for that kind of stuff… But I understand if you don't wanna wait."

"I will, I do. I've waited for you this long, I can wait longer," Violet spoke with a small smile.  
"I'll wait for you, Clem. Thank you for the date, I enjoyed it." She turned and walked back to her car, chest aching at the rejection and mad at herself for trying to move too quickly. She didn’t lie though. She was willing to wait.


	10. I don't care about what you did, only care about what we do

She never wanted to do this, let's make that clear. The temptation of a bright future, one full of stability and happiness, it tempted her to the point of no return. The point of being paid to take her clothes off. The point of having to stand there and flaunt the body she had in front of disgusting people, perverted people.

Sometimes Clementine would make up stories about them. You know, to humanize them a little.

The men twisting their wedding rings came in too often. She'd do her best to avoid them, knowing they had most likely had a wife waiting at home or vice versa. She still had morals. She still knew right from wrong.

But when they beckoned her over with that sunken, already guilty look on their face, she still bowed to their call, becoming theirs whilst losing her own self, her own mind and body and heart and soul.

She sold her mind for them.

Her words weren't her own.

Her body didn't belong to her.

For as long as the song lasted, she wasn't her own. She was never her own.

Fixing the necklace around her neck, she took in a deep breath and spoke, a smile on her that could cut the sexual tension in the strip club.

"I'm Honey, and you are?"

She stroked the man's tie, pulling him closer to her bust as she spoke. Watching as he leaned forward, twenty dollar bill already in his hand.

"Hey hot stuff, I'm surprised you don't remember me. I've been here before." The man said, running a hand through his blonde hair, leaning back in his chair in anticipation.

"I find that hard to believe." Honey said, voice thick and sweet, "I'd remember someone as handsome as you." She took the twenty from his hand and sat on his lap in one seamless motion.

"The name's Marlon."

Honey stood up immediately, dropping the twenty back onto the table. Violet had spoken about a Marlon. A Marlon that she worked with. A Marlon that had roughed up her friend. A Marlon that was probably doing more than just visiting strip clubs. The haircut that Violet described looking more like a dead cat than hair matched with this guy and Marlon wasn't exactly a common name.

"I'm sorry, it's um... my break..." Honey stepped back, hurrying toward the bar at the back, leaving Marlon with a confused expression on his face.

As soon as she reached the bar she was met not with the blonde haired reprieve she was hoping to find but instead a dark haired man, holding out a drink with a sneer on his face, "I'm surprised you're being so picky with your clientele tonight. You owe me what you owe me, no matter how much you make... I thought you'd be getting in every dance you could."

Honey accepted the drink, "I have standards and I have the right to say no to any person I'm not comfortable with."

"Of course you do Honey, but I'd hate to see you going hungry. If it looks like you aren't even trying, you might have to find another way to pay me back. I still have that friend of mine. He's willing to pay big money for pictures."

"I told you I'm not doing that... not again..." Clementine's stomach turned, looking down at her glass in shame.

"Then you better get to work... The drinks on me." He winked and walked away, leaving a glaring Clementine behind. She was playing it cool on the outside, casually swirling her drink as he walked away, but on the inside she was livid at Carver's threats. She finished the drink somewhat reluctantly and looked back over the floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of Violet.

"Honey!" A familiar voice called out, her heart sank at the sound of it. Tonight was not shaping up to be a great night. Clementine turned to see Gabe, sitting in the back, grinning brightly, stack of bills on the table... She knew what that meant... he was wanting a private room and Clementine didn't think she was in any position to turn that kind of money down.

Clementine walked in Gabe's direction, allowing Honey to move her feet one in front of another at the same time her hips moved side to side. A glint of blonde caught her eye over Gabe's shoulder and it wasn't from Marlon.

Violet.

Clementine's heart soared and she veered course past Gabe's table and straight to where Violet was sitting.

"Vi... I need a big favor..." Honey leaned in, hands on Violet's shoulders, bent at the hip, faces close, "Let me give you a lap dance."

"Wh-what?" Violet choked on the drink she had been sipping when Honey came up out of nowhere.

Honey moved close to whisper in her ear, "I won't charge... but... I need to make it look real."

"C-can I ask wh-why?" Violet set her drink down before she dropped it on accident.

"The guy that followed me to the diner is sitting over there... He's going to want a private room... I just need a minute to collect myself but my boss Carver is standing in the corner watching me... I owe him a lot of money... He's getting more demanding... Please... I really just, I just need a minute before I go in the private room, or, or maybe Gabe will just leave, please?" Honey begged and Violet could see the desperation shining in her eyes.

"Okay." Violet swallowed hard, dropping her hands nervously to her sides.

"Okay? You're sure you're okay with this Vi?" Honey asked softly. Violet nodded several times, picked up her drink, swallowed the last of its contents and nodded again. Feeling more than a little light headed as Honey put her hands on her knees and eased them apart.

"Y-yeah... I'm okay... This is okay..." Violet said more to herself than the brunette as Honey sat in the chair, back to her front, sitting between her legs and rubbing up against her.

Violet clutched hard onto the wooden chair, fire coursing through her loins and flowing through her extremities

"Is this alright?" Clementine whispered, concern on her face as she leaned back against Violet's chest so she could look up at her face, reaching behind her with one hand to caress the blonde's cheek.

"Mhm." Violet somehow managed to get out, despite her erratic breaths. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think of something else.

"I'm really sorry about this, thanks for playing along." Honey turned around, hands on the chair between Violet's legs she pushed up, her chest brushing against Violet until they were face to face.

"P-playing... yeah..." Violet's heart raced as Honey sat on her lap, wrapping her legs around the chair that Violet was sitting on she began to move against the blonde in a rhythmic manner and the burning that spread across her entire body deepened.

"You're so tense..." Honey felt her muscles as she snaked one arm around Violet's neck, "I know you're not comfortable with this, I can stop." Honey whispered, her voice sounding sultry without even trying.

"N-no, I-" Violet attempted to take a deep calming breath but it only seemed to intensify the tingling sensation in her fingertips, "I want to help."

Honey leaned back, one arm in the air, chest pressed close to Violet face. She looked around behind her from her arched back position, trying to see if Gabe was still there. He had disappeared. She pulled herself back into an upright.

Clementine exhaled thankfully and stood up off of the blonde, about to apologise before she caught the eyes of her boss. She jerked immediately, gripping Violet's shoulders and beginning to grind against her lap.

"I'm so, so, so sorry about this..." She blushed.

Violet swallowed hard and nodded, "I, I, it's okay, you're... I'm fine. This is fine." And in a way it was more than fine. Violet had dreamed about this very thing happening more than once, but it was in the privacy of her apartment. Not in the middle of the strip club where anyone could see.

"Does it feel... okay?" Clementine asked, it wasn't something she usually bothered to ask, at least not meaning it.

Violet continued to breathe heavily, it was like no amount of oxygen was enough. She leaned back in her chair, "Yeah... good."

Violet was so caught up in her own head and the feel of Clementine on her lap that she was completely unaware of any presence but the two of them. Caught between euphoria and horror she didn't notice the glint of red coming in the club.

Marlon sneered as he saw Minerva walk in. He had messaged her the second he noticed Violet in the back. Violet was causing trouble for him right now, filling Brody's head with nonsense and telling her not to meet up with him. Brody was his, he needed her back and so if Violet caused trouble for him, then he could cause trouble for her too.

He chuckled as he threw back another drink, immune to the burning sensation, he watched Violet sitting as uncomfortably as he'd ever seen anyone while getting a lap dance. Did she ever just relax and enjoy anything? She was always so high strung, even with a beautiful girl on her lap she couldn't just enjoy the moment. Honestly he was shocked that she was even getting a dance, he was proud of her for doing that much. Maybe it would help her chill out a little.

Well, maybe it would have if he hadn't contacted Minerva... It couldn't have worked out any more perfectly had he of planned it himself. Minerva had walked in right as Violet was getting hot and bothered. She couldn't have been more red in the face, it almost matched Minerva's hair, the thought made Marlon chuckle again.

He continued to watch as Minerva's eyes landed on Violet. Visible anger crossing her face as she watched the stripper lean in and whisper in Violet's ear before getting up and strutting across the floor. He expected the redhead to march up to Violet right then, surprised when instead she went back out of the club, slamming the door harder than necessary on her way out. Marlon pulled his phone out sneakily underneath the table he was sitting at.

Marlon: Where are you going?

Minnie: Out

Minnie: I don't want to see that shit

Marlon: Stay, the club closes in thirty minutes

Minnie: Oh, I'm not leaving, I'll be waiting outside. Don't worry.

Minnie: That girl with Violet, I've seen her before

Marlon smiled to himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket, putting his attention back on the girl on stage, eagerly awaiting her descent. He tucked a hand into the waistband of his pants as he watched. Satisfied with Minerva's reaction and that Violet would be too preoccupied with her own affairs to meddle in his any longer.

Violet watched as Honey walked away, her heart still pounding in her chest, her body burning from the inside out. She picked up her glass before the weight of it reminded her that it was empty. She stood on shaky legs and made her way to the bar to get another drink. Immediately sinking onto a stool, not trusting her legs to hold her up any longer.

Honey, no, Clementine had asked to meet her outside the club after work. Invited her over to her apartment to 'hang out'. Violet had nodded dumbly in agreement, unable to speak through her arousal. What did that mean though? 'Hang out'. They had just agreed to take things slow, that they weren't in a relationship and then she rubbed up against her for a couple of songs asked to 'hang out' and left. Violet's mind went straight to the gutter, she couldn't help it in the moment, wanting nothing more than to finish what they started, but now that it was over. Now that her heart rate was slowing and the fog in her mind began to clear. She had a feeling that Clementine just didn't want to be alone. It was a feeling that Violet knew all too well.

Clementine didn't look back at Violet. She couldn't. She hated teasing her like that, she didn't want to hurt her. She felt guilty for not knowing where else to turn, admitting to herself that she had panicked. She wanted to be with Violet, in more ways than one but the walls she had built around herself were strong. They had begun to crumble under the blonde's intense gaze and kind words but they had yet to fall.

Gabe smiled, sitting at the table in front of her. Stack of bills next to him, drink in his hand. He must of just left to get a drink before coming back. He waved her over now. Bile rose up her throat but she pushed it back down as she approached him, Carver still watching her intently from the side of the room. It was harder to become Honey when Violet was at the club. She struggled to put on the mask that had been so effortless to affix before she met her.

"Hey handsome, it's been too long." Clementine said, without her usual husk.

"I'm in the mood for some privacy tonight, how about you?" Gabe grinned, pushing the money on the table forward.

"Just me and you?" Clementine stomach turned, "Sounds like a... a dream come true."

"I know baby." Gabe stood as Clementine took the money off the table with shaky hands. She needed the money, this was for the job. Nothing more. She was Honey, not Clementine, Honey.

Gabe led the way, having done this several times before. Clementine followed, taking a deep breath in and out. She passed Zee as she went. The older woman giving her a look of concern. Clementine tried to smile reassuringly back at the woman, but she knew it looked fake.

Zee, wearing a neon pink wig tonight with matching top and bottom, reached out and grabbed Clementine's hand as she passed. She gave it a light squeeze, "You can do it Honey." The woman emphasized. They gave each other a genuine smile now as they walked in opposite directions. Zee making her rounds at the tables, Clementine heading down the dark lit corridor that lead to the private rooms.

Honey stood up a little straighter, filling up with confidence as she breathed in the stale, smokey air of the club. She brushed past Gabe, looking for an unoccupied room, taking charge of the situation she opened the first free door she came to.

"After you." Honey smirked, holding the door for Gabe to walk in. She closed the door behind them. It was a small room. There was a sofa and a pole. A little space for dancing between the two. Honey took handfuls of Gabe's shirt and forced him onto the couch, dragging her hands along his body as she did. He leaned back into the sofa, smiling up into her honey eyes as she rubbed her hands along his chest, "Do you want the show first? Or did you want to get right down to the fun part?"

Fun was a relative word. What was fun for the customer was not fun for Clementine. It was degrading. It was humiliating. She took in another deep breath as she ran her hands up through Gabe's hair, stroking it as she once again struggled to keep Honey in control. Honey didn't have fun doing this either, but Honey didn't mind doing what needed to be done.

"I like fun." Gabe grinned, Honey could see his hands twitching at his sides, wanting to touch, but waiting for permission, "It's been so long I think I'm ready to get right into it tonight."

"Whatever you want, within reason of course." Honey ran both hands through his hair now, sitting down on his lap. This wasn't sex. She wasn't a prostitute, though she knew of some clubs nearby that did that sort of thing in their private rooms for extra money. If Carver was good for one thing, it was upholding the law. The cameras in the rooms weren't just for the girls protection, it was also to make sure everything was by the books. Gabe had been back here enough times to know the drill. Hands to yourself, no touching unless given direct permission. While some girls took their tops off on the main floor. Honey never did unless she was in a private room. If she was going to put it all out there, they were going to at least pay for it.

"I want you to take your top off." Gabe looked at her with a hunger in his eyes that pained Clementine to see.

"I can do it myself, nice and slow." Honey leaned in, breath hot on his neck as she pressed against him, "Or you can do it yourself for an extra twenty."

Gabe's hand was in his pocket, pulling out the bill before Honey could even finish her sentence. She took the money and slipped it in her garter belt. Leaning forward, chest pressed towards his face she took his hands and guided them to her back. His hands fumbled at the clasp. Clementine's heart sinking as it became loosened.

~~~~~~~~

No day at the club was a great day, but today had to be one of the worst. Being with Violet a small reprieve, but even that tore Clementine apart with guilt.

"Good work today Clem." Zee hugged the younger girl from behind as she worked to remove her excess of makeup.

"Was it?" Clementine asked, herself as much as Zee.

"You did your job, you made your money and now you get to go see Violet right? Sounds like a good day to me." Zee smiled, as she let go from the hug, sitting on Clementine's vanity.

"I guess. This is getting a lot harder now that I know Violet. I can't seem to get my head right..." Clementine rubbed her face with her hands, "When I'm at the club I can't stop being Clementine and when I'm with Violet, Honey just takes over and... I don't know who I am anymore. I had everything figured out before she came along."

"It's exciting though, right? Being in love?" Zee played lightly with one of Clementine's curls as she spoke, "I remember being in love, and it was like nothing I've ever experienced. Blissful. I was young like you, well, actually, I was married by the time I was your age."

"And that ended in a messy divorce. Where you lost nearly everything and became addicted to drugs," Clementine said harshly. Zee's face fell, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I know you loved him even though, despite the... I just meant... Why bother? It feels good now, but will it feel that way forever? I think I might be making a mistake. I should stop this before it goes to far. I need to focus on making money and getting out of here. Not a kind, beautiful, blonde haired girl that twists my insides all around until I don't know which way is up."

Zee put her hand on Clementine's shoulder and waited for her to meet her eyes, "It's worth it. Maybe this is it. Maybe she's the one for you. Maybe she's your happily ever after. Can you afford to not take the risk? Think of everything you'd miss out on by playing it safe."

"Maybe." Clementine repeated, standing to pull on her jeans and hoodie, "I'll see how tonight goes I guess. I really need to think about something that's not work right now." She pulled her hat on last and hugged Zee goodbye before turning and heading out of the dressing room and out the back door of the club.

She fixed the hat on her head, having been attacked by a gust of wind almost immediately once she stepped outside. She hugged herself for warmth, focusing on the freezing air before she was interrupted by a loud yell from across the parking lot.

"You fucking whore, you promised me that you loved me!"

"I didn't promise you shit, get off of me!"

After the brunette had heard the initial statement from the first loud voice, she'd assumed it was one of the girls in an altercation with a dissatisfied customer.

But the reply and the voice that laced it, taught her differently. Her heart sunk into her stomach and she turned slowly, and in the dark, she could see a figure pinning Violet, her Violet, against the wall of the club.

She felt her heart leave her body for a moment.

Was it over? After everything? Was it because she didn't kiss back, was that why?

Then she listened closely, and slowly, against her own will, took a few steps towards the direction, staying out of sight as she didn't want to startle whoever it was in case they hurt her or Violet.

"I'm telling you the truth. She's using you for money, she's a stripper! You can't have feelings for a stripper, can't you imagine how I feel? I feel used! You'd rather go to a stripper than me!"

Clementine furrowed her brows.

Did Violet have a girlfriend?

"Imagine how you feel? Why should I?! Did you imagine how I felt, when, when you pinned me down every night and fucked me like you were just trying to b-be, get it over with and be done and, fuck, I just wanted a shoulder to cry on, that's all I ever wanted, and you treated me like a fucking play toy! I don't feel like a person anymore! Honey makes me feel like a person, she's not your replacement, she's too good to be your replacement. She's better than you could ever be and fuck, maybe I even love her, Minerva. That's more than you could ever say to me."

The redhead chewed her lip angrily and stared the blonde down, moving away and crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to come up with a snarky reply.

"You know her name's not Honey, right?"

Violet scoffed, shoving her hands in her pocket, "I'm not a moron. I know what stage names are."

"Oh, right. So you've seen her pictures, haven't you?" Her lips quirked into a smirk as Violet's eyes widened and brows furrowed in frustration for a moment before she replaced her expression, not interested in feeding into Minerva's lies.

"Black, laced lingerie that fit perfectly around her tight figure. Stockings up to her thighs. You wanna know what I saw them on? I saw them on a sex store online. She's literally a fucking product, and you're buying her."

"Give it up, Minerva, I'm not coming back to you. Leave me alone, and stop concerning yourself with who I'm dating and who I'm fucking because no matter whats, it's not you!" Violet said harshly before something caught the corner of her eye.

Clementine.

Her heart thumped, she looked at her and swallowed hard, hoping the redhead hadn't noticed and that Clementine hadn't been there too long, but Minerva had already saw her.

"We were just talking about you," Minerva sneered, eyeing the uncomfortable girl up and down as if she were comparing her to the images she'd seen of her.

"Nice to see you for once, to know you're a person. Anytime I've seen you, you've been bouncing on someone's lap or posing like a little slut for some porn website, do you know that? Do you know how many people thirst over you online? You'll never escape it, you'll be nothing but a slut your entire life. I hope you don't have any children. Hah, Vi, imagine explaining that one!"

Clementine shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the floor anxiously as her eyes continued to rove over her. She felt tears prick her eyes. Of course she'd heard stuff like this before, but it was usually from a drunk pervert, and they didn't really pay much attention to what they said.

But Minerva was smarter than that, and the fact she actually planned what she was going to say our made it so much more painful. She was able to see the flaws in the brunette, pinpoint them, hold them down and push until it broke her. And that was sickening.

She continued. "Shy? You're not a shy girl. I've seen you," She grinned, walking closer to the brunette and standing next to her. Violet flinched.

"Seen you in your sexy lingerie. Seen that sultry look on your face, you got cute lips. Ever seen her with red lipstick, Vi? It's a sexy sight. Bet you touch yourself to her at night, grind on yourself, huh?" Her face was close to the brunette's ear now, "Wonder if you'd let me get between those pretty thighs for just a twenty dollar bill-"

"That's enough!" Violet shook her head and marched towards the brunette. She put her hands on her shoulders and spoke quietly to her.

"Clem, are you okay?"

"Oh, she's fine, she hears it all the time," Minerva replied, but Violet ignored her.

"She's had more lips on her body than any hooker I've had."

"Hey, talk to me, you're safe with me,"

"You know Vi, I know I'm no angel, but at least I want you for your body, not your money. Not that you have much, anyway. You hear that, Honey? Vi'll stop coming to the club soon. She's poor. She can't afford to buy your cute little face anymore." She grinned broadly at the blonde who now looked at her.

"But my love, that's free, Violet. Same for you, Honey. I may be a bitch but at least I'll fuck you for free. I don't discriminate. Hey, Vi, she ever take you to the private rooms? You know what they do there, don't you? I say she's brought a ton of girls and guys down there before, you have been, haven't you?" She sneered

Violet, still looking over the silent brunette, furrowed her brows in frustration but could only reply in a small, squeaky, "No."

"No?" Minerva asked knowingly, her voice fakely shocked. "So you're telling me, all this time you're spending on this girl, you've never even been in a room, you know, one-on-one with each other?" Minerva laughed at the look on the blonde's face.

"Want me to describe it to you? They crawl on your lap, touching you, unbuttoning your shirt,"

"Stop."

"Get all up in your face, feeling you up. Are you blushing? Imagining it? Don't get your hopes up, Vi. She doesn't want you. She just wants your money. And when that runs out, maybe she'll start walking the streets again. Who knows? Maybe those private rooms are just her little hang outs, if you catch my drift." Minerva commented, poking the brunette on the side before walking off down the parking lot to find her car.

Violet shook her head again, grateful she was gone, before pulling the brunette against her chest for a hug, she brushed her fingers through her hair as worry sprinted through her veins.

"Clem, I'm sorry, she wasn't supposed to be here."

"Who is she?"

"She's just-" Violet stopped, thinking to herself, "She's just a girl. She's just an abusive, evil, vile, disgusting girl. And she's not important. Will you tell me if you're okay?"

She nodded in Violet's arms, still somewhat quiet as she let a single tear fall down her cheek.

"I don't feel safe out here."

"Clementine?" She heard a voice from behind her and pulled away from Violet's chest to spot the girl, standing worriedly by the door.

"Zee!" She ran towards her, wrapping her arms around her as she began to sob.

"I'm scared, I'm scared," She mumbled hysterically into her shirt, clinging to it nervously.

Zee's eyes flashed to the blonde's ones and she spoke softly, "Violet, right?"

Violet nodded, overcome with guilt and worry for the blonde.

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked, stroking the brunette's hair, "Did somebody do something? Was it that guy from the rooms?"

Violet shook her head, biting her bottom lip.

"It's all my fault."


	11. Past Messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter flashback chapter

_ "Relax your hips more," The woman ordered, watching instructively from the sidelines as the brunette did what she could. She pursed her lips in concentration. _

_ "You strut, you don't sway. Customers don't like that, they want it to feel… Real. Unique. If you're giving them all the same fake sway of your hips, they won't want you." She sighed, taking a few steps forwards, she placed both hands on the brunette's hips and began to physically guide her. _

_ "Slow and steady."  _

_ She did so, allowing the taller girl to practically hold her hips and drop them when she was ready.  _

_ "You're too tense for this," She sighed, backing away from the girl. _

_ "You're right," Clementine held the woman's hand in place at her hip, "Unravel me, why don't you?" She whispered, pressing her lips against the girls and holding the kiss for a few seconds before she pulled away, wrapping her arms around her neck and leaning into her, "I'm tired." _

_ "I know," She wrapped her hands around her waist, rubbing them up and down her back with strong hands, "We've had a tough day, Clem. We can work on it more tomorrow. You really are showing improvement." _

_ “Thanks… for looking out for me...” Clementine mumbled into woman’s ample bosom, hardly hearing what she said, too caught up in how her hands seemed to know exactly where her tension was built up, “That feels nice.” _

_ “I’ve been doing this for a while, I know where the sore spots are.” Zee grinned, moving her hands up to Clementine’s neck, rubbing the spots that always bothered her after a long night at the club. The younger girl practically melted in her arms, “Us girls have to stick together.” _

_ Clementine frowned, “Why don’t the other girls like me? I’m… I’m just trying to get by, same as them.”  _

_ Zee sighed and steered the brunette onto her nearby bed, they sat side by side. Clementine looked at the older girl, sorrow in her eyes. The pain of rejection and loss clear in her amber orbs, “Hands up.” Zee instructed, Clementine did as she was told allowing Zee to pull off the loose fitting shirt she had put on after work, “This.” Zee said, looking at Clementine’s body, clad in a bra and shorts, with admiration, “This is why the other girls don’t like you. They know you’re sexier than them, you project this ‘go-to-hell’ attitude that they envy. As soon as you get your strut down, you are going to be unstoppable.” _

_ “I don’t want to do this forever Zee…” Clementine sighed heavily.  _

_ “Lay down. Relax.” Clementine did, allowing Zee to position her, face down on the soft mattress, “You aren’t going to do this forever,” She reached toward her bedside table and pumped a bit of massage oil onto her hand, “but just because you aren’t doing it forever doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it well while you’re doing it. If you’re going to do it. Do it right.” She rubbed the oil between her hands, evenly distributing it on her palms before she began working it into Clementine’s tight muscles, starting with her thighs just below the hem of the brunette’s short shorts. _

_ "Zee?" _

_ "Hm?" _

_ "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" She bit her lip nervously, "I hate asking but, see, I've been having these nightmares lately in the other room…" _

_ "My bed is huge. Of course you can," She replied as she began to knead into the brunette's flesh while speaking. "What have your nightmares been about?" _

_ "Just, streets, and… and whatever." She replied nervously. _

_ Zee nodded and slowed down her actions, "Have they been about men? Dreamt of… the bad stuff?" _

_ "H-How'd you know?" _

_ "When I first started," She began, watching as the brunette shuffled on to her back to look at her. _

_ "After my marriage ended, I was so scared. I'd only ever been with one person and I was suddenly throwing myself into a world where anybody could have me for any price. I felt alone and scared without my husband, despite not loving him anymore, I was terrified to go on without him. I was groped and touched and harassed by men all the time, I still am, it only made sense for nightmares to happen…" she finished, wiping her hands with some paper from the bedside table. _

_ "But you've never been in a relationship at all, and you're throwing yourself out here. You must be terrified. I hope that the club doesn't ruin your perception of relationships." _

_ "That's why I have you," She grinned shyly, "You've been nice to me. Everything you've done, letting me live with you and walking me to and from the club, waiting for me even when your shift ends first. I've never had that." _

_ "You deserve kindness." _

_ "And when you kiss me, I know we agreed it's not a relationship, but it makes me feel good, better, even. It's not like being touched at the club, because I want it. Does that make sense?" _

_ "I understand completely," Zee nodded with a small smile before leaning forward, using her hands to dig into the mattress as she pressed a quick kiss to her lips. _

_ "I'll kiss you whenever you want me to. It's our way of reminding each other that there's more to life than this job, is that okay?" _

_ "Yeah," She nodded with a blush, "That's a deal. I-I feel more relaxed with you then I do with anyone else.” Clementine continued, “I was alone… for so long. It feels good to be with someone I can trust. I haven’t trusted anyone since… well… my parents.” She felt a tear prick at her eyes and she rubbed at them quickly. _

_ “Oh sweet baby.” Zee frowned, climbing onto the bed beside the brunette she held her in a loving embrace, “Tears aren’t weakness here, you cry if you need to.” _

_ “No… I’m alright. Thank you.” Clementine leaned into her arms, enjoying their warmth. The way they held softly, not demandingly. The way she knew they would let her go in a second if she asked. A mutual hug of respect and love. Not romantic love, romantic love could fail. She felt something with Zee that she knew would last, a comradery, a fellowship. Zee understood her in a way that no one else ever had, “Will you…” Clementine blushed, “kiss me again?” She felt silly asking, but not for long as Zee pulled back from the hug just far enough so that she could press their lips together. _

_ It was tender and caring and though Zee was clearly the one in control, she let Clementine set the pace. Only increasing the intensity when she felt that the shorter girl was inclined for her to do so. And she was so inclined, “More.” Clementine mumbled against her mouth, getting lost in the feeling. _

_ Zee chuckled lightly and pulled away, laughing even more at the frown on the brunette’s face as they separated, “I thought you were tired.” _

_ She chewed her bottom lip nervously, "Sorry." _

_ "Don't," Zee replied, leaning in to kiss her lips softly one more time before pulling away. "We can do whatever you want, just tell me, you know this is your choice." _

_ "I just," She sighed anxiously, "Need to take my mind off of stuff, I just need a distraction," _

_ "Yeah, okay," Zee nodded, "do you wanna try something else first? Something else to take your mind off of stuff?" _

_ "What else do I know but sex?" _

_ Zee looked at her sympathetically, reaching out to brush through her hair. _

_ "Clementine." _

_ "Yeah…?" _

_ "You need to separate you from your job. You're not your job, it's a facade, become somebody else." _

_ "Somebody else?" _

_ "Yeah." She nodded, "I promise it'll help. For me it’s like putting on a costume, like playing a character. Almost like method acting.” Zee explained, rubbing her hand up and down Clementine’s bare arm, “You become someone else.” She sighed, placing a kiss on Clementine’s forehead, “I always wanted to be an actress… it’s stupid I know. Every kid with a little talent in high school theater thinks they want to act, but I felt like I could really be something. Then I got married and… anyway, the acting comes easy for me. At first I thought of it as practice. I created a name and a persona to go along with that name, Candy. My character was always the same when I first started. I was a confident, sultry vixen that all then men wanted. Now that I’ve been in the game as long as I have I like to change it up. I see a guy in a cowboy hat, I’m the cowgirl of his dreams and I say,l ‘howdy partner, can I get a ride on your bucking bronco?’ and if I see a man in a business suit I’ll say, ‘I’m sorry I was late sir, is there any way I can make it up to you?’ as I stroke his tie. I become what they want me to be, it’s the ultimate acting exercise, but for you… you just need to focus on one. One persona, someone sexy, someone on the prowl, someone that does everything that Clementine would never do. It’ll help keep you sane. I know it did for me.” _

_ “How?” Clementine asked, desperation in her voice, “How do I just become someone else?” _

_ “At first it’s hard, you have to try really hard to pretend you are that person, but the longer you do it. The easier it’ll become. You won’t have to try, as long as you’re in your costume, you’ll just be that person.” Zee tried to explain, “Start with saying to yourself, ‘I am sexy. I am what all the men want.’ and you say it every day as you get dressed in your tight orange dress. You say it with conviction, and before you know it, you’ll convince yourself that it’s true and when you believe it’s true, they’ll believe it’s true. Men won’t admit it, but they like a confident woman.” _

_ “I’ll try, Zee. Thank you for helping me.” Clementine said softly, feeling overwhelmed by all the things she had just told her, “I… I love you.” _

_ “Oh my sweety honey, I love you too.” Zee grinned, noticing as Clementine leaned up towards her mouth, asking for a kiss without saying anything, Zee obliged, meeting her lips in a tender kiss. _

_ “What’d you call me?” Clementine questioned as they moved back. _

_ “Sweety?” Zee asked, raising an eyebrow, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, she had called her that a hundred times before. _

_ “No, the other thing.” _

_ “Honey?”  _

_ “Yeah, I like how that sounds when you say it.” Clementine smiled lightly at the name, “Honey… maybe… no," she sighed before clumsily leaning in to drop a kiss against Zee's lips, wrapping her arms around the taller girls form and laying her down as she crawled on top of her. _

_ "Hey, are you sure you want this right now?" _

_ "Yes, I'm sure, I just wanna take my mind off of things," She muttered into the soft skin of Zee's collarbone. _

_ The taller girl sighed, rubbing her back, "Alright, I'm up for it." _


	12. The road came to an end, but for once it was good

It wasn’t like she wanted to do this. She was desperate, Carver was breathing down her throat demanding the money she owed him. The club just wasn’t enough to pay off what she owed and have enough money to live off of. She needed to do this. For money. For her future. 

It was necessary.

Or that’s what she told herself as she straddled Gabe’s waist in her small studio apartment, "three hundred dollars and I get to do whatever I want?” Gabe asked for clarification, hands hovering at his sides as he was used to doing in the club.

“Three hundred, in cash and you get to touch with your hands, no kissing, I’m in control.” Clementine emphasized, grinding up against the boy as she spoke.

“Uh-okay, bu-but… sex right? Not just a lap dance?” Gabe asked, leaning back against the couch, hands already caressing the bare skin of Clementine’s sides, she shuddered at the contact.

“Yes, sex.” Clementine tried to hold back her grimace, stomach lurching. Is this what it came down to? Maybe she really was just the prostitute everyone had always thought of her as. She didn’t ask for her parents to die. Or her foster parents to kick her to the streets the day she turned eighteen. All the money her parents had left to her mysteriously vanished. All she had to her name at the time was a small four door car and a suitcase full of clothes. This wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity.

Gabe looked over the brunette hungrily. He slid his hands up her back and unhooked the bra that he was all too familiar with. As soon as it was open he ran his hands to her front, Clementine closed her eyes, air freezing in her chest as he was finally able to touch what he had coveted for so long.

The front door swung open, “Clementine! Sorry I just let myself-” Violet’s voice came from the doorway. Clementine’s back was to her, Gabe’s hands paused mid-grope at the interruption.

“Vi! No! It isn’t what you think!” Clementine shouted, spinning around, accidentally revealing her exposed breasts. Violet looked from Clementine to Gabe and back, eyes slipping down to the brunette’s attire, or lack thereof, for only a second before spinning on her heel and leaving the apartment, “Violet!” Clementine stood, no amount of money was worth losing Violet over, but the floor beneath her faded. Gabe grabbed her from behind and started shaking her.

“No! Get off! Get off!” Clementine fought against his hands that now felt much softer as the room around her darkened.

“Clementine, sweety, shhhh baby, shhhh.” Zee’s voice broke through the blackness.

“Z-Zee?” Clementine stuttered reaching out blindly, Zee took her hand and squeezed it lightly, kissing her forehead.

“It’s me Hon.” Zee leaned in and brushed her fingers through the brunette waves.

“What’s going on? Where am I?” Clementine breathed in deeply, heart racing she tried to get her bearings, mind a haze of confusion.

“You were having a nightmare.” Zee talked softly, stroking Clementine’s face, “You’re in my bed, in my apartment. You’re safe. You didn’t want to be alone after last night.”

Clementine’s heart steadied. The memories from the previous night overtaking her nightmare about Gabe. The things that girl had said, Minerva her name was, made her feel lower than dirt. Violet had been with her, dated her? Clementine wasn’t completely sure about anything that had happened. She was already stressed from Marlon, Carver, Gabe… Minerva was just one more weight on her already overburdened shoulders. The day was over, she had already mentally decompressed, ready to spend the evening with Violet- “Where’s Violet?” Clementine asked suddenly. She remembered how upset the blonde had been. Blaming herself for everything that had happened.

“She came here with us, but she was just as much a mess as you were. I drove her home the second you fell asleep.” Zee soothed, “Told her I’d take her to the club to get her car in the morning.”

“And what time is it now?” Clementine rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and sat up among the pillows and blankets.

“Noon.” Zee said, looking at the clock on her bedside table.

“It’s past morning!” Clementine said worriedly.

“She’ll be fine, she can wait until you’re feeling alright again. Do you want to talk about your nightmare while you were sleeping or your nightmarish work day?”

“Neither… really… Actually… I want to talk to Violet. I have some questions for her and I… I just really want to talk to her.” Clementine sighed, hands fidgeting with the blanket.

“Do you like her Clem? I know we’ve talked about this before, but I want to make certain.” Zee asked, trying to look into her amber eyes, but she stared fixated at the blanket.

“I do. So much that it scares me.” She admitted with a tint of shame in her voice. Zee reached forward and stroked her face, cupping her cheek, she smiled broadly.

"That's a good thing." She encouraged, before frowning as the brunette's eyes filled with tears.  
"Clem?"

"I've never been in a relationship, one that I wanted to be in. There was only one person, and he never liked me, I never liked him, but Violet likes me and I like her and it's scary," She revealed as she started to sob. The older woman pulled her close and held her as she cried, doing her absolute best to calm her down.

"Clem, Violet's not like the guys at the club." Zee reminded her but she cried harder.

"That's what scares me! I'm used to b-being touched and, and the intimacy being one sided - how do I do relationships? How can I do it, Zee?"

"With time, with patience, you have time and Violet has patience." She said as she stroked through her curls, "This is really, really good. You need this. You deserve this."

"But I'll be really bad," She sniffled, "I don't know how to love."

"You love so many people, Clem. And so many people love you. You have got this," She stroked her hair, "You do what you want. I'm not going to pressure you, but I think Violet deserves a chance. Don't judge her because of some rude girl she knows. Take it from me, sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone in order to truly be happy."

"I'll try…" Clementine let out a shaky breath, "I want to try."

"Good," Zee smiled before letting out a deep breath. "Clementine, you really do deserve this. I think everyone deserves a chance to be loved by somebody. It's the one thing I miss about love, being able to always have somebody who'll take your side but will still tell you when you're wrong and try to help you fix yourself. We all need that." Zee explained reaching over she picked her keys off the nightstand and held them in front of the brunette, "go get your girl." Zee was right, she told herself. She wanted to be happy. No one but Zee had made her happy in such a long time and she longed for the closeness of a romantic partner.

“Alright. I’m gonna do it.” Clementine said, trying to sound confident. She took the keys and looked at them unsurely before looking back at Zee, “And what about you? When are you going to get out there and find your girl?”

“This isn’t about me.” Zee shook her head, standing beside Clementine, urging her to the closet where Zee always kept some clothes for her in case she stayed over, “This is about you.”

“You’re always so selfless Zoeletta, always taking care of and thinking about my needs. You deserve someone that takes care of you.”

“Maybe.” Zee shrugged, “I’ve kind of accepted that that girl doesn’t exist. Besides, I’m perfectly happy the way things are, I don’t need someone else to make me happy.”

“I never said you needed someone to make you happy, I said you deserve to have someone that takes care of you and if that girl just so happens to make you even happier, then so be it.” Clementine grinned as Zee’s face fell.

“Let’s worry about you first and then we can worry about me, hm? Get out of here will you?” Zee nudged her again.

“Fine, fine, I’m going!” Clementine smiled, feeling overwhelmingly better as she grabbed her hoodie from the closet, still wearing the jeans she had left the club wearing. She fumbled with her phone, hastily she typing a quick message to Violet.

Clem: What’s your address? I’m going to take you to your car.

Clementine only had to wait a second for Violet to respond. She read it over and set her phone’s navigation to the location. She drove fast. Faster than the legal limit, screeching around curves and running off the road a time or two but she didn’t care. She was a girl on a mission, and that mission was to confess her love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Violet, listen to me," Brody spoke softly to the blonde who paced around the room anxiously.   
"She's coming over, that means she wants to talk. That's good."

"I know, Brody, but… relationships are hard," Violet stupidly admits to the girl who sits on the sofa nodding.

"Vi, I know. I know better than anyone…" she says quietly before speaking up again. "I'm scared of being in a relationship because of all that happened with Marlon. And you're scared. Because of Minerva. We've both been treated unfairly, but this is your chance to turn that around. I think this girl really cares about you." She said with a warm and comforting smile that made Violet melt and take a seat beside her friend, she gripped her hand strongly and spoke.

"I didn't mean to upset you Brody. I promise you'll find a man, one who's different and not like Marlon. One who'll treat you right."

"Or… or a girl…?" She said with a still quiet hint in her voice. Violet's eyes widened for a moment before she nodded warmly.

"Yeah, or a girl. You'll find somebody. And they'll deserve you."

“Thanks Vi.” Brody smiled and then it faltered, “I, um, I took your advice… I turned in the divorce papers. As soon as Marlon signs them, it’ll be official.”

“That’s great news Brody!” Violet stopped her nervous pacing and hugged her, “You’re so brave. You can stay here as long as you need to.”

“I really appreciate that, you’ve already done so much. I need to get a job so I don’t have to rely on you anymore. Any openings at the strip club ya think?” Brody smirked, waiting for Violet’s reaction, “Maybe I could even meet somebody nice there.”

“No Brody, please no.” Violet shook her head adamantly, “Not saying there’s not nice girls there or that it’s… um… wrong to work there but, how about we go by the bank and apply for a teller position? Or a secretary job at an office?”

“I’m just playin’ with you Vi.” Brody laughed at her friend's reaction before Violet's expression fell as a thought entered her mind. The blonde took a seat and patted the empty spot beside her for her friend, who looked at her suspiciously as she sat down.  
"You okay? You changed kinda quick there."

"Brody, I just… you reminded me of something." Violet swallowed before speaking, she looked from Brody's eyes to the floor before speaking.  
"Louis. He's um, been helping Marlon out. He got him a place to hide out from the police, that night after he… yeah, um… I think they're meeting up. I think Louis is bringing him stuff, like food and things. Marlon only ever goes into work so he doesn't get fired for missing days, but he wouldn't usually dare go anywhere else. I don't think Sophie knows. I had to tell you. I'm sorry…" Violet apologized quietly as she felt guilty now. As if she had ruined Brody and Louis's friendship.

But that changed when Brody put her hand softly on the blonde's and smiled.  
"I know. I asked him to."

"You what?!"

Brody nodded with teary eyes. "You know how scared I was, Vi. If they had taken Marlon that night, they would've questioned him and let him go on bail or somethin'... he could've come back to finish the job. I was protecting myself, not him. I couldn't let them take him for fear that he'd drag me down with him, so I asked Louis to hide him. Louis never did it willingly. But after tonight, I'll tell him he doesn't have to hide him anymore. I'm not scared anymore."

Violet went to speak again, somewhat shocked by the statement, but also worried that Brody no longer keeping Marlon safe would put her in danger, but Brody stopped her.  
“Clem’s gonna be here any minute, go get somethin’ nice on!” The auburn haired girl stood and pushed Violet into her bedroom and closed the door with a chuckle, wiping her teary eyes.

She felt like she was finally free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Clementine arrived at the apartment complex she rushed inside the building, glancing at her phone to find the right apartment number. The elevator ride up to the sixth floor felt like torture, as soon as the doors started to open she slipped through the small gap and all but ran to the correct door. Once there she raised her hand and froze. Her heart hammered in her chest, what was she going to say? That she loved her? She felt like she did, but she couldn’t give Violet that kind of power over her until she was sure that the blonde felt the same.

She took a big breath and knocked, she still didn’t know what she was going to say, but she wanted to speak from the heart and no amount of standing around the door with her hand hanging in the air was going to prepare her for that. She had to just knock and hope… hope that the words came out in the right order, that they made sense, but regardless, they’d be genuine.

The door opened, Violet stood in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. Her eyes were bloodshot, she looked like she hadn’t slept all night, “Clem, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for the things that Minerva said, she never should have-”

Clementine pressed her lips against Violet’s, effectively silencing the blonde’s well rehearsed apology. It was chaste and warm and airy, full of conviction and doubt at the same time, it was everything that Clementine herself was and when she backed away slightly she looked at the ground worried. She had not intended to kiss Violet. She had never kissed someone romantically before and the way she had done it just now wasn’t exactly romantic either.

Warm fingers pressed beneath Clementine’s chin, lifting her face to meet Violet’s, whose eyes were still blinking in disbelief. “I… I… did you? Does this mean...? I don’t want to rush you.”

“I want this, as long as you want it too.” Clementine admitted hesitantly, “I want to be in a relationship with you. I feel happier when you’re around.”

"Me too." Violet leaned forward, lips puckered. Stopping before she made contact, "Can I kiss you?"

Clementine giggled, not answering with words she threw her arms around Violet's neck, bringing their mouths together.

Violet found herself wanting to pull Clementine into her apartment, but she moved apart instead, “Ready to-uh, to take me to my car?” 

“Yes.” Clementine looked red in the face, but nodded. 

Together they walked to Clemetine’s car, side by side but not touching. Once they were inside and driving towards the club, Clementine cleared her throat and spoke into the silence.

“I still think we should take things slow, ya know? If that’s… okay?” Clementine said hesitantly, afraid of scaring Violet off already.

“More than okay.” Violet agreed, wanting that romantic courtship phase that she never had with Minerva.

“Maybe we should say what we expect… or um… want?” Clementine asked, still feeling sheepish, never having been in a relationship before she didn't know how to go about any of this.

“Sure.” Violet nodded.

“I don’t want to date anyone else… if you want to, if you’re still seeing Minerva… I’m okay with that for now.”

“No.” Violet said angrier than she intended, “I’m sorry, I mean, no. I’m not with Minerva anymore, haven’t been for a while and I don’t want to be with her ever again. I only want to be with you too.” Violet watched Clementine try to hide her smile behind her hand as she scratched at her cheek.

"Great…" Clementine bit her lip to hold back her ever increasing grin.

"There's something I've always wanted to do with someone I cared about though… seems silly now that I'm saying it out loud…” Violet scratched at the back of her neck nervously as she talked.

“Go on and say it, I won’t laugh, promise.” Clementine assured.

Violet rested her hand palm up on the center console that was between them, “Can we… hold hands? If it’s too soon for that or you don’t want to…”

Clementine immediately set Violet’s mind at ease, dropping her right hand into Violet’s, curling her fingers around the blonde’s, “I’d love to.” Violet held tight to Clementine’s hand as they drove the short distance to the club, rubbing her pale thumb over the girl’s caramel knuckles until they pulled into the parking lot. Clementine had to take her hand back so that she could shift into park and cut off the engine. Timidly she placed it back into Violet’s, leaving the radio on to play softly in the background, “I’m sorry my hands are so calloused. I know it’s not super attractive but if I didn’t have them my hands would blister every night from the pole.”

“Your hands are perfect.” Violet said, holding Clementine’s in hers, turning it gently so that it was palm up. She traced her fingertips over the brunette’s calluses, and over the length of each digit. Violet’s soft touches sent heavenly chills up Clementine’s spine, “So what do you want to do now?”

Clementine’s mouth was dry as Violet continued to softly trace along her hand, she shrugged slightly, not sure if she could answer. What was Violet wanting to do? What would a couple do in a situation like this?

“I guess I could get in my car and go home?” Violet looked into Clementine’s honey eyes and enjoyed how she was able to make her speechless.

“Food?” Clementine squeaked out.

Violet chuckled, “What?”

“Wanna get some food? At the diner? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday.” Clementine asked hopefully.

“I could go for some food and Clem… I’m sorry again about last night, about Minerva and all the things she said.” Violet held Clementine’s hand between both of hers now, her voice wavering.

“Did you date her?” Clementine asked, afraid to admit how intimidated by the tall girl she had been.

“No… yes… I don’t know. We never went on dates.” Violet looked away, ashamed, “It’s over though. I promise. She’s awful and I won’t having anything to do with her ever again.”

“Did she hurt you?” Clementine’s voice lowered, Violet sighed heavily.

“Not physically… not really… She was embarrassed to be seen with me, didn’t want a real relationship… Just used me really…” Violet shrugged, still looking away. Clementine squeezed her hand tighter.

“Let’s go get some food, my treat.” Clementine released her hand and walked around the car, waiting for Violet to get out with her, “We can talk about Minerva more while we eat if you need to get it out.”

“Maybe later. I just want to talk about you for now.” Violet smiled, checking Clementine out as she bent over to manually locked the car from the passenger door before standing beside Violet again.

“I’m happy to listen, really I am. I wouldn’t hold any of that against you. Look what I do for a living, I don’t have a right to judge anyone.” 

“Thanks for being willing to listen Clem, but… I’d rather not talk about her anymore for now…” 

Clementine pocketed her keys and held her hand out to Violet, “The diner’s just a short walk away.”

Violet looked at Clementine’s hand and hesitated. Minerva would have never held her hand in public, but Clementine wasn’t Minerva and she kept proving it. Violet smiled as she slipped her hand into the brunette’s, interlocking their fingers this time. Gently, Clementine tugged Violet in the right direction as they began their walk.

“So Violet… how do you feel about pancakes?”


	13. Don't pretend it's such a mystery

"I don't want this!" Zee cried as the brunette pushed her into the entryway of the car dealership, a grin on her lips.  
"Clem, I hate dates! I can't do that!"

"Come on, Zoeletta, you can do it!" She urged her, listening to the jangle of the girls hoop earrings as she fitted through the door.

"Clementine, no,"

Clementine pulled her to the side as soon as they entered, “Zee. When I was living out of my car, did you offer me somewhere to sleep?”

“Yes…”

“When I was making crap tips at the club did you give me pointers to help me make more money?” Clementine asked.

“You just needed a little guidance.”

“Did you show me how to trust again when I had closed myself off?” Clementine had both hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes.

“I tried-”

“Yes!” Clementine leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, “The answer is yes. Now it’s my turn to help you. I know you pretend like you’re happy being single, that you don’t want to settle down, but I can see how lonely you are. You had it all at the tip of your fingers once upon a time, Zee, you can have it again… We’re doing this.” she insisted as she grabbed her hand and lead her through the doors and further into the large dealership.

Zee felt anxious, fixing her skirt. "You don't think it's too small? It's the least revealing thing I have in my closet."

"Zee, we're strippers."

"That doesn't mean we can't have any dignity…" she said, crossing her arms over her chest and sighing nervously. "What if I'm not her type? What if she doesn't like me, Clem?"

"Has anybody ever not liked you?"

"You mean, besides my parents who disowned me when I divorced a millionaire for the sake of my own happiness? And stopped me from seeing my baby brother and sister? Because I'm gay?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow before rubbing her cold arms, "I'm not anybody's type, Clem. When I got married, I wasn't even his type. I wasn't dating him beforehand. I got out of high school and a week later got married to this guy I didn't even know just so I could make my parents happy. And I still let them down. I let them down by being gay, I let them down by working in a strip club, wanting to be an actress, caring about other people. I let them down and now I'm being punished for the rest of my life because of it… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so deep…"

Clementine softened and reached out to hold the girls hands. "Zoe Miller, you are beautiful and so kind-hearted, I promise you that this girl will like you. I bet she's just as nervous - and just as excited - as you! This is new for both of you, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. Even if you're just friends, it'll end up being good for you. You need more friends that will actually hang out with you outside of work."

Zee shifted and looked down at her arms.  
"I'm tired of just friends, I wanna be in love again. The club is great, it saved me, it really did. I've made friends with the other girls, I met you, even some of the guys and girls that come in can be great. I like to be out there, I like to be extravagant, I like to be noticed for my abilities, I want to show off… but I'd give it all for someone who just cares about me and not the extravagant parts of me. Somebody who wants to look into my eyes and not just my chest. Somebody who I can touch, who touches me back, with no money involved, you… you know what I'm getting at? Dancing is a hobby. Stripping is a hobby. But I'd give up my hobbies for one girl to just love me."

Clementine chuckled and pulled her friend in for a hug, she stroked her back as she felt the woman relax in her arms before speaking again.  
"Zee, I know exactly what you’re getting at. That’s exactly what I’ve found in Violet. You've done so much for me, I have to give back. You deserve to be happy, too."

Zoe exhaled shakily, "I know but, I-"

"So, can we go?" She smiled at her, nudging her softly, "We'll have fun. You can get to know Violet more, you can get to know her friend more, we'll all have fun."

"Mhm… okay, yeah. Yeah, you're right." She said confidently, "Thank you, Clementine."

"No problem, Zoe. Let's go."

~~~~~~~~

“A costume party? Vi… It ain’t even close to Halloween. What are they doing a costume party for?”

“I told you Brody. My work is doing a fundraiser for cancer. They’re calling it ‘Costumes for Cancer’ or some shit, I don’t know, it’s for a good cause.” Violet tightened her bodice, smiling at herself in the mirror when she noted that it accentuated her subtle curves nicely, “Besides, I told Clem about it and she seemed really excited.”

“Then go with Clem, I don’t wanna be a third wheel,” Brody started to untie the apron around her patch work, rag doll, dress, “and I know you said Louis was gonna make sure Marlon doesn’t come, but I’m still kinda nervous.”

“Marlon will not show his face or I swear I will make him pay myself. Besides, you won’t be a third wheel, Clem’s bringing a friend too. Her friend from work, they call her Zee.” Violet pulled an eyepatch over her head and rested it above her eye.

“So you want me to make small talk all night with a stripper I don’t know while you and Clem makeout in the corner? What am I gonna talk about?? Bra sizes?” Brody hmph’d but retied the apron around her waist and began painting red circles on her cheeks.

“Me and Clem aren’t going to leave you… it can be like a…” Violet lowered her voice, “double date,” and then raised it again, grabbing her keys, “All ready to go? I know I am!”

“Wait, wait, wait… hold on a second.” Brody grabbed Violet’s puffy white sleeve before she could leave the bathroom, “Did you say double date? Violet Adlon, are you tryin’ t’ set me up on a blind date?!”

“Nooooo!” Violet shook her head adamantly, “It’s more like a bunch of friends hanging out. Just two of those friends are dating and the other two have never met and are going to get to know each other to see if they might like one another well enough to date.”

Brody gave Violet a death glare, “Please Brody!” Violet said, “It’ll be good for you to get out of the house. Zee seems really nice, you don’t have to fall in love, just talk to her. I won’t leave you alone with her I promise. Not unless you want me to that is.” Violet winked.

“Alright… I’ll come but I’m not happy about it.” Brody frowned, gathering her purse and resting it on her shoulder.

Violet let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you Brody, Clem’s going to be so happy... because I maybe...already told her you agreed to come.” She hurried out of the room and grabbed her keys, “Let’s go!”

Brody crossed her arms and followed Violet into the living room, "Not a date right? Just friends."

"Absolutely… unless you want it to be more, it'll just be a group of friends." Violet agreed, following the grumpy Brody from the apartment to the car.

Once they were seated and buckled in, Brody drummed her fingers nervously on her thighs, "This girl's a stripper, right? So she's gotta be awfully beautiful… I've been a stay at home wife for years Vi. I don't even bother to put on makeup most days, I'm not pretty enough to date someone like that."

"Pretty isn't even the point. You're a kind person and you deserve to be with a kind person." Violet said as she drove, "and you are too pretty. If I had known you were gay before you married Marlon, I would have definitely dated you."

"You would've?" Brody couldn't help but smile.

"Hell yeah I would've. You're a catch. Zee would be lucky to date you."

"Thanks." Brody smiled, leaning her head on the glass window, looking outside as they drove.  
"Can I be honest?"

"Sure."

"I always wondered how you were so open about liking girls. Cause I knew I liked them, I just didn't know how to say it. I mean, I like guys too, but… heaven forbid I told Marlon that. I wouldn't still be here. In his eyes, I didn't like anyone other than him." She said with guilt in her voice.

Violet sighed, "Brody, if I had my way you never would've met Marlon. If any of us had our way, you sure as fuck wouldn't have married him. He wasn't great in school. The only reason he became part of the group was because Louis and him got along, but me and Sophie never liked him. And even when you announced you were engaged to him… I felt sick. I saw this coming so far down the line but I never said anything and Brody I'm so, so sorry."

~~~~~~~

“I dunno about this anymore Vi… maybe I’ll just wait in the car.” Brody turned to leave just as they reached the door. 

“Noooo.” Violet grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the car dealership, “You are not skipping out on me now.” Brody whined but allowed herself to be pulled in through the double doors. Cars that usually filled the spacious room were moved to the side, allowing for the center of the room to be filled with banquet tables laden with food, smaller rounded tables, surrounded by chairs for eating and a bar to the side.

Before Violet could find a table, arms were thrown around her shoulders, a face nuzzled into her neck placing a discreet kiss on it before pulling away, “Vi!” Clementine smiled, moving back and smiling at her girlfriend. 

"Hey!" Violet smiled, pressing her lips to Clementine's temple. The brunette smiled at the touch, somewhat uncomfortable when Violet moved away. She wanted more, but they had decided to take it slow, and so she had to live up to it. "You took your time. Thought you might stand me up."

Clementine reddened, "Got us a table?"

"Brody's sitting at it." Violet said, furrowing her brows and looking behind the brunette, "Where's Zee?"

"Oh, she went to fix her makeup. She's nervous."

"So is Brody." The blonde replied before sighing, a smile creeping up on her lips. "They'll love each other."

"Of course they will," Clementine giggled in agreement as she brushed her curls out of her face. She looked over the blonde's costume with a grin before Violet put her hands on her hips.

“You’re beautiful.” Violet smiled, taking the chance to look over Clementine’s outfit. Pink leotard, tights, and skirt. Her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, “I always wanted to be a dancer when I was a kid…” Clementine shrugged, answering the question before Violet could ask.

“And you’re a…” Clementine hesitated just long enough for Violet to jump in.

"What do you think? I'm a pirate."

"A sexy pirate or a normal pirate?" the brunette scanned her eyes over her girlfriend’s attire.

"Normal?"

"Nah, you're sexy." Clementine winked at the blonde who now blushed nearly ten shades of pink. Feeling successful Clementine took Violet’s hand and led them over to the table Violet had pointed at. Brody stood to greet them as soon as they arrived, “You must be Brody!” Clementine exclaimed, throwing her arms around her in a tight hug, “It’s so good to finally meet you. Violet talks about you all the time. I feel like I already know you.”

“Same.” Brody smiled shyly as Clementine let go.

Clementine looked around for her friend, finding her walking towards them, coming to a stop behind her even though she was a good deal taller and unable to hide. Clementine shook her head and stepped to the side, laughing lightly as Zee continued to grip onto her shirt, “This is my good friend Zoey, but most people call her Zee. Zee, this is Violet.”

“I’ve seen you around the club Violet.” Zee hugged the blonde, who hugged her awkwardly back, “Keep taking care of my Clementine and you and I will get along just fine.”

Violet scratched the back of her neck, “Uh, yeah, of course I will.”

“You better.” Zee patted her on the cheek. Leaving Violet wide eyed and mildly intimidated.

“And as we already stated, this is Brody.” Clementine waved her hand to the red head.

“It’s good t’ meet ya… Zee was it?” Brody smiled warmly, attempting to hold back her nervousness. The taller girl looked over to meet Brody’s gaze, face immediately reddening.

“Yeah… you too… um, Brody…” Zee clasped her hands behind her back and stepped next to Clementine’s side, away from Brody, who looked sullenly down at the floor. Clementine raised an eyebrow in confusion at her usually touchy friend. Clementine hadn't really ever seen Zee get quiet about things, in fact, she hadn't seen her get quiet at all. The most tame that Zee ever got was when she was discussing her life before stripping - but even that wasn't quiet enough.

“Should we start with some drinks?” Clementine shrugged it off. 

“Yes,” Violet nodded, “and here.” Violet pulled out wristbands and gave one to each person to attach to their wrist, “These mean everything’s paid for, including the drinks. I bought our tickets through work last week.”

“You didn’t have to do that Violet, let me pay you back.” Zee reached for her purse but Violet shook her head.

“No, it’s on me. I got a discount anyway since I work here. Let’s all just have some fun.” Violet looked pointedly at Brody who seemed to be retreating within herself.

“By the way Violet, you are really working that pirate costume.” Zee complimented, running her hand down Violet’s arm. "I do like a pirate. I don't get to act as one as much as I want to. Not a lot of men come into the strip club looking for a pirate mistress to enchant them."

“Uhhmm, thanks…” Violet looked at Clementine in concern, but Clementine only smiled back, not seeming worried at all at how handsy Zee was being with her, “You’re a really nice, um, 80’s singer?” Violet questioned as she looked over the taller girls teased hair, hoop earrings, fingerless gloves and tight skirt.

"I'm more of a disco-goer but thanks. I wish I was born in the eighties, the fashion was definitely my taste. I was merely off by a few years unfortunately," She fixed her earrings and grinned before her phone vibrated in her pocket and she took it out, eyebrows furrowed in worry and she looked at it.  
"He's worried about me."

Clementine rolled her eyes. "He's not worried about you."

"He is. He needs me. I'm his mommy."

Violet looked at the both of them confusedly, she locked eyes with Clementine and didn't have to speak before she answered to her.

"Zee's got a high tech security system in her apartment for her cat, Fish."

"He's not just a cat! Clem! You raised him with me since he was a little baby kitten. Be nice…" Zee said, putting her phone in her pocket again and sighing before speaking.  
"Fish is a sphynx cat I adopted after my marriage… ended. They were going to kill him because nobody wanted him, he was too ugly apparently, but I saved him and Clem came to live with me that same week. He's my baby. I promise I won't be checking on him all night…"

"Ah," Violet nodded, turning back to look at Brody who had her arms crossed grumpily.  
"You okay, Brody? I think me and Clem are gonna get the drinks now." She grinned, winking at her. Brody looked at her with her eyes squinted grumpily.

"I'm. Fine."

"Great!" She said cheerfully before turning to Clem. "Let's go get the drinks!" Without another word, Violet took Clementine by the hand and led them to the bar area, “What’s the deal with Zee?” Violet asked quietly, with raised eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” Clementine quirked her head in confusion.

“She keeps putting her hands all over me and she’s supposed to be here for Brody.”

“Oh, that’s just how Zee is. She’s touchy with everyone, she doesn’t mean anything by it, she’s just friendly.” Clementine waved off the concern.

“Then why isn’t she touching Brody?” Violet glanced back at their table. Zee and Brody were sitting down now, next to each other at the table. Brody’s arms were crossed grumpily while Zee held onto the hand of a passing server with a tray of horderves. 

“She touches everyone, of course she’s touching Brody.” Clementine looked back at the table as well. Watching as Zee touched and talked to almost everyone that passed by, completely ignoring the auburn haired girl right beside her, “That’s… odd.” 

Clementine and Violet collected glasses of champagne for the group and brought it over to the table. Both of them still giving Brody and Zee curious glances, “Clem! You’re back! Come get food with me!” Zee practically jumped out of her seat, going the long way around the table to avoid crossing behind Brody’s chair. She grabbed Clementine by the arm and forcefully hauled the girl away.

"Zee, what is going on with you?" Clementine questioned her as they stood away from the table now. Zee shifted uncomfortably and Clementine could swear she was about to cry.  
"Why are you acting so strange? I get that you might not like Brody, but don't treat her like this. She doesn't deserve this."

"I know, I know," Zee said, taking a deep breath before releasing. "I do like her. I really do. She's really cute and I love her voice. But I've only ever slept with women, Clem, I don't know how to love them, you know? I was married to a dude, for christ’s sake!"

"Zee, come on, now. If I can have a relationship, so can you. Give Brody a chance." Clementine pleaded with the girl who nodded slightly, turning to look at Brody who seemed to be in the middle of a rant with Violet. The taller girl turned back to her brunette friend and nodded.

"I'm going to go fix my makeup in the bathroom. But I got this."

"Damn right, you do!" Clementine nodded, patting her on the shoulder as Zee wiped nervously at her under eye. 

At the same time Violet was talking to Brody, “She just seems nervous… and you don’t need to date her, just calm down and have a good night. I’ll stay with you okay? Just.. go to the bathroom, splash your face off and calm down, okay?”

“Alright, go get me another drink while I’m gone. Somethin’ stronger than this if they have it.” Brody finished off her drink and got up from the table, walking towards the bathroom.

As Brody left the table, Clementine sat back down, pecking Violet on the cheek as she did, “I’m so sorry about Zee. She really likes Brody, that’s why she’s acting so funny. She’s never like this, she’s flirty and touchy with everyone. She must have it bad... She went to the bathroom to fix her makeup, she said she’d behave when she got back.” Clementine sighed taking a distracted sip.

“Oh… Brody just went to try and calm down… I hope they don’t get into an argument…” Violet looked nervously toward the bathroom door where Brody had just disappeared.

As Brody walked into the bathroom, Zee stopped what she was doing, waiting for the auburn haired girl to start yelling at her. But she didn't…

Brody just grumped towards the sink, wanting to be at the one furthest away from Zee, but finding there were only two. She huffed quietly and turned on the tap on, scooting Zee's makeup bag out of the way. 

"Excuse me." She said passive aggressively.

"Oh, s-sorry," Zee was quiet as she picked up her bag, putting it on the other side of the sink before continuing to apply her concealer below her eye, then moving on to lipstick.

Brody splashed her face with water before reaching over to grab a paper towel, finding the anxious brunette was in her way. She spoke.  
"I need to get a towel?" She tapped her foot and Zee just scooted closer to the sink, leaning over it now to apply her lipstick, as Brody reached and grabbed a towel.

Once Brody backed away, she found herself clumsily falling against the tall girl. Zee presumed she'd fallen due to some water spillage, but as she was pressed against the sink, nothing could stop her as she leaned closer and pressed her lips to the girls cheek. 

Brody wasn't really happy about that.

The shorter girl backed off, looking at the reddened cheeks of Zee's face angrily.  
"You can't just ignore me all night actin' like I smell like shit then do something like that!" She said loudly, and Zee breathed out deeply.

"I'm really sorry, I - I just, I'm new to this and you're, um… You're really cute…" she said, reaching up to scratch the back of her head nervously. She was expecting the girl to shout at her again, but was surprised to find the girls cheeks red too.

"You… think I'm… cute?"

Zee nodded. "Yeah. Real cute."

"I'm not cute."

"Oh sweetie, yes you are." Zee said then seriously, "You're a natural beauty."

"Not pretty enough to be with someone like you, though." She said, but Zee shook her head.

"No, honey. You're gorgeous. You deserve better than me. But that doesn't mean, I won't try..." Zee said, lightly pressing her lips to the girls. She pulled away with a smile, and Brody smiled back at her, before pressing her lips against Zee's again and taking her off guard.

"Um, this, I'm,"

"Hey, talkin' isn't as sexy as you think." Brody chuckled and Zee shared her laughter.

"I just don't want you to feel, like… like this is too quick. We don't even know each other." 

"We have time," The girl grinned, kissing Zee again and allowing her hands to roam down her back gently before they both got lost in passion.

~~~~~~~~

“What is taking them so long?” Violet never took her eyes off the bathroom door as she ate the food on her plate, “They’ve been in there forever!”

“It’s not been that long.” Clementine shrugged, leisurely drinking as she watched the band playing at the back of the room, a few people danced and stood around watching. 

Violet looked at her watch, “It’s been twenty minutes! Do you think Brody murdered Zee?” 

“No, Vi, calm down.” Clementine rested a comforting hand on her thigh, “Maybe they’re talking it out?” 

“I’m going to check...” Violet stood, but just as she did, the bathroom door swung open and out walked Zee and Brody. Zee was grinning from ear to ear, arm around Brody’s shoulders whose cheeks were even more red than her hair. Brody’s patchwork dress was rumpled and Zee’s skirt was askew

“Come on Brody bear, let’s dance.” Zee led her straight to the dance floor. Clementine and Violet looked from the pair to each other with wide eyes before looking back to the two on the dance floor, arms wound round one another as they slow danced.

“Do you think they…?” Violet asked hesitantly, face scrunched in disgust.

Clementine chuckled lightly, picking up Violet’s fork, “Oh, they definitely did.” She casually speared a pineapple from Violet’s plate, taking a bite as Violet continued to stare after the dancing duo.

~~~~~~~~~

Violet glowered at the road in front of her as she drove, the smacking sound of lips clashing and saliva mingling in the backseat causing her grip to tighten on the steering wheel. She chanced a glance in the rear view mirror, seeing Brody and Zee full on making out, hand up her shirt. Violet quickly looked back at the road, “Why did I agree to chauffeur everyone home again?”

“Because we had too much at the all you can drink bar.” Clementine giggled, reaching over to stroke Violet’s inner thigh, “I can make it up to you when we get back to your place.”

Violet quickly picked up her hand and moved it before it could get any higher, “We’re taking things slow and you’re staying with Zee, Brody’s staying with me.”

“Come on Vi, you can take us to my place, I feel like dancing. You’ve never been to my apartment, but I have a pole,” Clementine stretched her seatbelt so she could lean over and whisper in her ear, “I could give you a personal show, your own private lap dance, just the two of us, what do you say?” She rested her palm on Violet’s thigh again. The blonde hesitated for just a second, swallowing hard she pushed Clementine’s hand away.

“None of that unless you’re sober.” Violet said with more resolve than she felt.

“You’re no fun.” Clementine pouted, leaning back in her seat. Sounds of kissing filling the car in her silence.

“Never again…” Violet mumbled, heading toward Zee’s apartment, “Never again.”


	14. Trip of my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet's hands shake as they reach for the clips of the tight, dark red bra. She can't seem to steady her breath, but she knows it's what she wants when she finally takes the zipper between her thumb and finger and starts to pull

Violet walked towards the back door of the strip club with a light blue, flimsy cardboard box in her hands. Clementine knew she was coming, they'd talk through their plans, but that didn't change the fact she was nervous. She had to stop and pick up her "gift" on the way, if only to make herself feel less of a burden.

Yeah, they'd been on a few dates, but today was a low-key, casual hang out. 

And their first time to hang out alone in a while.

Brody and Zee, well… privacy wasn't one of their talents. They wanted everybody to know they were "in love". 

And yeah, they really did a good fuckin' job at proving it. 

Blegh.

The door opened and she was nervous, praying the Clem would be the first girl to come out so that she didn't look like a total weirdo. 

But behold, she wasn't. But Zee was. And Violet thought Zee was pretty cool. 

When she wasn't trying to suck the organs out of her best friend directly in front of her, at least. That wasn't a sight anyone seemed to enjoy.

"Ooo, a box, what'd you get her?!" Zee asked as she tried to peer into the item in the blonde's arms. Violet pulled the girl slightly to the side and opened it, showing it to her partially.  
"Aw, doughnuts? You guys are adorable," She grinned, "Have you ever had Brody's homemade doughnuts? She gave me a box to take home to Fishie the other night. She's such an amazing, talented little baker. I'm actually off to buy her some icing, she's gonna attempt to bake our wedding cake today in preparation for the real deal. Wh-"

"Wedding cake?" Violet asked with wide eyes. "What?"

Zee flushed. "We're not engaged we're just preparing in case. We've also decided that you and Clem should be our kids godmother's. When they're, well… conceived, that is."

Violet blinked a few times. She knew that Zee and Brody were moving fast but this was - a whole other level. Her and Clem hadn't moved past the "early lovers" stage yet. It was a pretty stark contrast.

As the door opened again, Violet almost jumped at the sight of her girlfriend walking out. She practically ran towards her, the brunette's grin forming only when she saw the familiar blonde.

"Hey! I was about to text and ask where you were," She smiled at the slighter taller girl before catching Zee in the background, she smiled at her. "Zee tell you we're the godparents?"

Violet looked at her partner and slowly nodded. "Um, yeah," She said. Clementine laughed, taking Violet's free hand and turning to wave to Zee.

"See you later!" She waved off to the tall girl, now walking along with Violet to the blonde's car. She held Violet's hand as they walked towards the car, she leaned her head on the green eyed girl's arm.  
"I'm tired as hell. It's so cold out today."

"Wanna stay at my place?" Violet swallowed nervously. "I know you haven't got a bath in your apartment. I can run it for you and you can eat the doughnuts in the bath?" Violet suggested as they reached the car, the brunette looked at her confusedly.

"What doughnuts?"

"Oh," Violet opened the box, putting it in the brunette's arms. "I got them. For you. There's nine. You can eat them in the bath and maybe I'll set up a movie or something for you…?" She flushed.

Clementine reached up and cupped her girlfriend's cheek with one hand. "You're adorable and thank you." She said before both girls got into the car and were on their way to Vi's apartment.

The drive was quiet as usual, before Clementine reached out to turn on the radio. She tried to fumble for the right stations at first before stopping on one, and immediately regretting it.

"What?" Violet asked as the brunette grunted.

Clementine shook her head. "This guy used to always pay me during this song."

"Oh," Violet replied. "Well. I have some CDs. You can stick on what you want."

"Really?"

Violet rolled her eyes at the brunette, "Yes, really. They're in there," She pointed to the glove compartment of the car. Clementine opened the compartment and started to shift through and look for some CDs she wanted before picking one out.

"I love this band!" The brunette squealed. "I wanted this album so bad, but I didn't have enough to save up for it." She said as she held it close to her chest before examining it at a further distance, wiping the dust off of it.

"Well," Violet swallowed. "You can have it. I don't listen to it, not my thing."

Clementine's eyes lit up. "Wait, really? Seriously?"

"Yeah, go ahead!"

"Thanks, Vi."

"No problem," Violet replied, feeling somewhat proud of herself. Proud of the progress their relationship had made. It was funny when Violet thought about how her and Clementine met, how awkward they had been. It seemed as though Minerva was long gone, though Violet knew she'd still cross paths with her at one point.

It was just a matter of time.

And what would she say, when she finds out just how in love Violet was with Clementine? 

The thought sent chills down the blonde's spine as she watched the curly headed woman out the CD into the slot with a smile on her face. Violet decided then, that thoughts of Minerva would not ruin her life. Or her night. Or her relationship.

Minerva was gone. And that was for the absolute best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clementine had gone to take a bath almost immediately after getting back to Viole hi hi hi hit's place. It was their new thing. She liked to relax in the blonde's home and felt almost as if she lived there, though Violet still hadn't really been around to Clem's place. She didn't live in the best neighborhood and Violet sought it better to stay away as much as possible rather than risk anything.

As Violet curled beneath the blankets on her side, she felt chills run up her back when the door to the bathroom closed and Clementine walked over. Violet expected her to be wearing a towel, but she was dressed.

Partially. Wearing one of Violet's shirts and a pair of shorts. She sat down beside the blonde and wrapped herself around Violet's arm as the blonde tensed up.

"What are we watching?" She asked, leaning forward to take a doughnut from the box.

Violet swallowed, "Dunno, whatever's on."

"Hmm…" She hummed, resting her head against Violet's shoulder as she closed her eyes and drew in soft breaths of air. "How was work today?"

"Boring. You?"

"I didn't get much attraction," She admitted. "It was slightly dry, pretty sure there was a bar open somewhere around doing free drinks all night. That's usually why the guys aren't so handsy. Too drunk to even think." She admitted as she drew circles on Violet's chest with her index finger.

Violet nodded, her breath getting heavier as she shifted to get more comfortable on the sofa before clicking on the TV. 

"Movie?"

"Nah…" Her breath was heavier now and Violet could tell what she was getting at. She felt an anxiousness within her and looked at the brunette, cheeks starting to redden, she then looked away.

Violet shifted uncomfortably in her place, "Oh, okay, um… A series, maybe? We started one the last time you were he-"

"Vi." She said in barely a whisper, causing the blonde to snap out of her glare. Violet looked at the girl with confused and furrowed eyebrows, before snapping out of it as she felt her lips press against her own. Soft and tender but somehow telling her exactly what she needed to know.

When the brunette pulled away, Violet narrowed her eyes. "What was that?"

"I think you know. I think you know what I want."

"I think so…" Violet said quietly before a quieted laugh came over her, "Wanna do it again?"

"Oh well, I won't complain," She grinned playfully as she moved closer.

"Yeah you won't,"

Violet's lips met the girls again and she grinned broadly because she knew what was happening when the brunette shifted, pulling away slightly, she sat up onto the blondes lap and used her hands to push on her shoulders. Violet pulled the brunette down for a kiss again, more roughly as if she were trying to distract herself from what was going on in her mind.

After a few seconds as the brunette pulled away for air, Violet spoke up "I don't know if I like this." Violet said, "It's scaring me."

"Why? Is it, is it too soon?"

"No, it's," Violet looked her over, "It's just that I don't think I deserve this. Not someone like me, you need someone better. You're better at this stuff than me and I, I'm just slow," She began to sprout out her anxieties before her lips met Clementine's again. Violet held on to the younger girls hips and looked almost in a dazed state when she pulled away.

"Listen, shut up," Clementine chuckled, leaning her forehead against the blonde's. "I want to sleep with you. I want to have sex with you. I don't care if you're slow, we can go slow, we can match whatever pace you want. Yeah, you know what? Maybe I could have someone better but I don't I have you. I don't care about anyone else on this planet but you. So I'm going to kiss you wherever you want. Brody and Zee aren't home. It's just me and you. You don't have to be scared. It's just me. We have all the time in the world."

Violet swallowed and nodded. "This is happening too quickly."

"We can stop."

"I don't want to stop, I just… want to slow the pace like you said."

"We can do that, too." She nodded in understanding, inching closer to rest her forehead against the blonde's again, her hand reached around her back. "Sit up a little. Can I take off your shirt?"

"Are you gonna laugh at me?"

"Absolutely not. You know, when I first started, I used to shove things in my bra to make my tits look bigger." She chuckled as she began to lift Violet's shirt from her. Once the clothing was removed, Clementine did her best to converse with the blonde as to not completely overwhelm her.  
"Are you okay? I won't look yet. How are you feeling?"

"You're nice."

"Am I?"

"She... used to laugh at me."

"I'm not her."

"I know. You're so much better." Violet whispered, meeting the brunette's lips quickly again. "You can look now."

Her eyes wandered down before flouting back up to meet Violet's again, the blonde's cheeks burning red as she stared at her. Violet spoke.  
"Well?"

"In all my days, working in the job I work, you think I'd be immune to seeing beautiful women, but holy fuck, Vi. I don't care how cliche is sounds. Every little thing about you is perfect. Everything. How the fuck…"

"Let's not talk," Her hands moved beneath the brunette's shirt. Violet's hands shake as they reach for the clips of the tight, dark red bra. She can't seem to steady her breath, but she knows it's what she wants when she finally takes the zipper between her thumb and finger and starts to pull.

She leans closer. "Let's just exist together." Her lips meet the girls once more before she pulls her down on top of herself. A final moment to be one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking up the next morning, Violet found herself wrapped around her covers with arms around her waist. She was dazed as she opened her eyes, trying to remember everything that had happened the night before.

Doughnuts, baths, sex - oh.

It'd been a long time since Violet woke up with somebody's arms around her. Longer than the last time her and Minerva had sex. Minerva only ever cuddled her at the start.

Violet shifted on her back to look at the brunette, laying sound asleep beside her, she felt a smile on her lips as she stared at her peaceful face and counting the breaths she took before her eyebrows knit together and her eyes opened to look at the blonde.

Violet watched as her eyes unveiled. Of course she'd seen her eyes before, but never like this. Never this close. Now Violet understood why she was called "Honey." What other word could be used to describe those eyes? They were perfect. Sweet, golden, swirling pools of molten honey. She understood how Clementine was so good at her job. Even if she didn't have the "assets" needed to be a stripper - her eyes were honey. Her eyes were honey and the men were flies and they would cling to her no matter what.

"Hi."

Her eyes widened slightly when she caught sight of Violet. 

"Holy shit, we slept together!"

Violet laughed, covering her mouth afterwards and letting the statement sink in to both her mind and Clementine's before she replied.  
"Yeah, we did."

"What the fuck."

"Yep."

"No, what the fuck. That's like. What the fuuuuck."

Violet chuckled again, moving closer to the girl to wrap her arms around her waist. It was weird, this surge of confidence she had, but she figured since they just had sex that cuddling her wouldn't be the biggest crime ever.

Clementine was quick to accept this gesture by wrapping her arms around Violet in return, laying the older girls head against her chest, she brushed through her hair with her fingers.

"I'm amazed at how far we've come. I didn't expect us to do this."

"I mean, it's pretty common for couples to sleep together."

"I know but," Violet sighed, "I thought I had a genuine fear of sex after Minerva. It's just such a, you know, personal thing, I can't match it up in my mind. I've.too many fears and insecurities about it but somehow you made them all go away and I love that. So much."

She smiled brightly, kissing her forehead once more. "I like that too."


	15. Innocence was fleeting like a season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa (ymirssidebitch) wrote this chapter solely.

*A few months later*

Flames. That's all she can see. Burning in crisp of the night, orange and yellow wisps of toxic air. The noise of them crackling starts to get to her - because what exactly is it burning? The buildings on fire, but... is anyone inside?

If so, who?

If so, why?

At the end of the day it made sense. Clementine hadn't heard from Violet since lunch when she texted to say she'd see her tonight. Though it was nearing three in the morning now as the brunette stood staring at the garage where her lover worked, she began to piece it all together. 

"Violet...?"

*Earlier*

"This fucking WRENCH!" Violet screamed as she yanked the heavy piece of metal from under the car, sliding it across the floor before pushing herself out. "Fucking hell. How many times is this gonna happen before we get some oil in this place?" She uttered, wiping her hands on her overalls as she walked over to grab her phone. Sliding it up, she furrowed her brows before sighing.

"It's already two in the morning, fuck I've been here all day." She said, running her fingers through her sweaty blonde locks, dialling Clementine's number.

"Come on, come on," She uttered, putting the phone to her ear. "Fuck." She took her phone down from her ear and slammed it against the desk. Violet groaned, walking towards the car, she bent down to check underneath it.  
"Looks good enough, guess I can do it in the morning." She sighed as she stood up, wiping her hands together, she began to unbutton her overalls and pulled them down to her hips, tying her hair up.

As Violet tied her hair up, her phone buzzed, prompting her to quickly pick it up and answer without even checking.

"Clem??"

"Clem? What? No! It's me." Brody said with a sigh. "Your beloved misses you." She said, noting Violet's grunt of frustration. "Vi?"

"I'm sorry, I got caught up working." She said shaking. "A customer brought in this car today and he was pretty, um, you know, aggressive, so I got caught up fixing it because I didn't know you know, I'm, I'm, just,"

"Calm down, tell me what's going on?" She questioned confusedly as the blonde began to speak erratically again.

"I'm fine. Okay. I'm stressed. I was supposed to meet Clem but I got caught up with work and she's not answering my calls and my phone's about to die. I'm. Just. Stressed." 

"Okay..." Brody said, taking a long, inaudible, deep breath before she spoke. "Look, I need to go… Hazel needs a diaper change, but I'll text Clem and explain everything to her. Go home and get some sleep, okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's like two in the morning and you felt the need to call me. I'm sorry."

"Violet, I was awake anyway. It's fine. If you need, I can get Zee to drive down and get you it's really dark, you shouldn't be there alone." Brody said worriedly, she sounded so concerned to the point where Violet could basically see her eyebrows furrowing together.

"No, I'm okay. I'm gonna try call Clem again and go home." She stated. "How's, how's the baby?"

"Yeah, she's good," Brody said, "I really have to go, please go home, Violet. Be safe. If you don't let me know when you're home, I'm going to have a panic attack and not sleep, do you want that?"

"No ma'am."

"Good... Goodnight, I love you."

"You too." Violet ended the call with a deep sigh before looking at her phone screen, biting her lower lip as she dialled Clementine's number again.

And this time, she answered.

"Clem? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I've just been so busy, a lot came up tod-"

"It's fine." She replied somewhat coldly, making Violet's heart clench. "Something came up anyway."

"Oh... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry..."

Clementine ended the call swiftly and Violet sighed again before walking into the small office to get her bag, stuffing her phone into it before she threw it around her arm, leaving the office and heading towards the door.

Violet gripped the handle of the garage, tugging it gently before realizing it wouldn't open. She furrowed her brows, trying to not let her frustration get the best of her before she gripped and pulled at it harder.

Still, not a budge.

"Fuck!" The blonde yelled, kicking the metal door. "Who the FUCK is out to get me today?? Fuck me!" She scoffed, taking her phone out of her bag and going to dial a number before stopping.

"Clem's mad at me and Brody's just had a baby..." The blonde took a deep breath as she saw what was in front of her, standing as her only option. "Louis and Sophie are half way across the world, so... Fucking Marlon." She shook her head as she sifted through her contacts, looking for his name, she dialled his number.

The phone immediately started to ring and that's when Violet noticed a light in the office. She stood up and leaned over to look into it, seeing Marlon's phone reflecting back at her. Ending the call, she put her phone back into her pocket and picked his up with the intent to bring it to him.

"Yep, leave it right here where literally anyone can get it. What a mor-" Violet stopped as Marlon's phone lit up again, buzzing in her hand. She squinted her eyes closed, reading the message, just as another came in.

Hey, if he didn't want his privacy invaded then he shouldn't have left his phone there.

Erv: I'm doing it now. You better have left the window open or else this plan is gone to shit.

Erv: okay, the gasoline's down. I'll see you tomorrow.

"What the fuck??" Violet said aloud just as the crackling of flames started to seep through the walls, her heart pounding in her chest as she dialled the emergency number.

Present

She felt as if she were underwater, drowning almost, like everybody was worried for her, trying to get her out of but the water was filling her lungs and she couldn't comply. Everything felt dull. It wasn't a feeling she felt much anymore - not since Honey. Honey was always the one to bear emotions, whereas Clementine was the one to deal with them.

At least she was glad to see the fire department doing what they could. Not that she could see much through the tears swelling in her eyes, distorting her vision. Her heart pounded in her chest. She felt so alone, more alone than she felt at night in her apartment.

Then it hit her. If Violet was inside, inside of the burning building right in front of her, she was going to be alone, wasn't she? Zee quit the club when the baby was born. Who else exactly did she have? The people at the diner? How would anyone else ever compare to Violet, this person who'd opened up to her, who she'd opened up to, who'd shared so much with her, it wouldn't feel right. It wouldn't feel okay to just not have her. 

The brunette took a deep breath, finally coming back to life as it started to rain and she felt the drops on the skin of her bare feet. She looked down at her ragged, torn dress. She thought Violet would freak out when she saw her like this - but she didn't expect it to be the other way around.

It was as she saw them carrying a body out on a stretcher that she started to run, rushing towards them at a speed unable to be matched by anyone else. Her heart pounded and she felt dizzy as she spoke.

"I'm her girlfriend!"

~~~~~

Clementine thanked every possible God that she was allowed to go with Violet in the ambulance. She also thanked them that Violet was alive and from what they had said and what she had saw - she didn't have burns... at least not much, anyway. 

She initially worried what people would think of the way she looked but as she sat in the hospital corridor, she really couldn't care a less. A ragged skirt, her fishnets could be seen underneath it, she'd even get looks from passing men every once in a while who probably knew her, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was being there when Violet needed her.

"Well?" She looked up from her seat to see Zee rushing towards her. "Oh lovely, you look... you look horrible."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no," She wrapped her arms around the distraught brunette who immediately took to crying as the taller girl stroked her hair, "what did they say?"

"She's," She stumbled over her words, taking a sharp breath, "I don't even know, I just know she's alive."

"That's always good," Zee said as she pulled away from the younger girl and took her hand, taking a seat beside her just in time for the brunette to see Brody too. The auburned hair woman sat down on the other side of Clementine, quietly conversing with her wife about Violet's situation.

"I've called Sophie and Louis. They know, they're going to book a flight as soon as we know what's going on." She explained before looking to the brunette. "What... exactly happened? I, I mean, I know you don't know but what did you see?"

"Fire." She said. "I got there and I saw fire, and it's all I could see at first... the firefighters were already there but I couldn't even see them." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she listened to the sounds of the hospital. The sounds of people talking, nurses and doctors going through doors and out of them. 

"I don't want her to leave me."

"She's not going to, okay?" Brody said promisingly to the brunette before she earned an unsure look from her wife. She furrowed her brows. "She's going to be okay. Right, Zee?"

"We just need to get through this." She nodded. "Clem. It's going to be a long night, I don't think we're going to hear anything for a while... maybe you should some rest, or eat something at least?" She looked concerned at the girl who just shook her hand, taking her hand away from Zee and covering her face with them.

"I'm still in my fucking work uniform... I never got to change."

"Where did the skirt come from?"

"I went to this girls house-"

"What?" Zee questioned quietly. "A rando?"

"A girl from work."

"Which girl from work?"

"I'm sorry..."

She took another deep breath and wiped her eyes before standing up, both women looking at her confusedly and worriedly as she walked away.

"I feel sick I'm sorry." She said, running towards the bathroom and closing the door right behind her.

Brody turned to Zee. 

"Zoe. You don't think she cheated on Violet, do you?"

"No." She replied, still staring at the bathroom door, "I'm worried she didn't something worse."

"Worse???"

"Those girls at work, Brody… God only fucking knows what they do."


	16. Announcement

Hey everyone, ymirssidebitch (lexa) here.

I'm no longer apart of this project. I wrote the past three chapters all by myself, so I wanted to thank you for the responses to them. I enjoyed this at the start. I hope that if this book is ever finished you all love it!

Goodbye!


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